to go too hard on other people, as people, is to often miss the structural and institutional roots of their (and our) own bad behaviors. No one acts or speaks or writes, or anything, in a vacuum.


We operate within the context of everything from our upbringing to our education to the media we consume to the peers with whom we associate to whatever happened to us an hour before the dialogue session, which put us in a pissy mood.


And because no one knows another person'��s damage completely, nor its source (and yet we know, intuitively, that we all have plenty of it),�� we should probably err on the side of system-based critiques and offer kindness to people whenever possible, knowing that who we all are today owes an awful lot to where we were yesterday, and the day and the month and the year and the decade before that.

This is not to say that we let people off the hook for injurious behaviors or statements; it is merely to say that we acknowledge that there is, indeed, a hook; and it has a source that did not originate with the person we are placing there.


From If People Matter: http://www.timwise.org/2014/08/hard-on-systems-soft-on-people-fighting-for-social-change-as-if-people-matter/#more-5886

I blame it on the parents.

I believe that our biggest downfall is removing personal responsibility. This is a growing trend to which I believe is partially, and directly responsible for the increase in mental instability.

Whether it be caused by the influence of parents, or teachers, etc. Inevitably people are the cause.

After dabbling in neuropsychology for a bit I have to say I see things much differently than before. It was a real eye opener. It's intuitive and common place to punish a person for their actions instead of looking for the cause and fixing it. It's pretty much like your car blowing a tire and trying to fix it by yelling at it then locking it away in your garage to punish it. It's crazy and makes no sense. People are just biological machines and many need fixing. Many things that are wrong with how we deal with things in society are based on what we have learned from previous generations and the human condition.

I agree and disagree.

I believe a big part of the issue is in distancing ourselves from personal responsibility.

For instance; punishing a child for a devious act is how the child grows, and learns coping skills and mechanisms to deal with rules, interactions with others, and things like rejection which we encounter on a daily basis. When that child has been coddled, over-sheltered, and/or "spoiled", he or she often lacks coping skills required to deal with "grown-up life".

So I agree with the concept of looking for a way to fix a broken mechanism, but I don't see where it can be separated from personal responsibility.

I so agree with everything you say and I love the analogy ...With respect to the human condition and the OP, I feel this way...People DO matter more...Looking at the big picture and thinking in terms of the long run, a philosophy that puts "modern day people problems" into perspective as to cause and effect is the only path to the solution... The price for advancement (all types) is a decline in the "need" to take individual responsibility for survival...Rapid advancement comes with a price; the price is complacency...Beginning at the source is the only thing that makes sense to me and doing so does not have to mean giving people a pass....