So my 2 1/2 year old son was playing with his toys yesterday with his Nana (my mom) when the phone rang and I brought it in the room because it was for her.

The little innocent sweetheart he is asked "Is that my dad?" plain as daylight..

His dad left/was kicked out/etc etc when he was about 6-7 months old and has not been back, we have never mentioned him, no pictures, nothing. But all of my son's friends have dads and nearly all of the TV shows he watches has moms and dads..

He's been questioning 'dad' alot lately by even giving his toys dads and he knows I have a dad..

Any advice!? I was really hoping to kinda have a guy around that I might eventually marry by the time my son turns 4-5, but it doesn't really look like it.. And he's starting to ask for dad already.

I'm not looking for a replacement for his dad, nor the reason I want a partner, but I thought it would make the transition easier for him too..

What exactly are you supposed to tell your child when they ask for daddy? I don't want to say he's at work, not home right now, etc, because I know eventually the dad is going to fight for custody (100% chance he'll lose), and odds are my son will want to meet him some day.

He has no visitation, never will by court order, so it isn't even like he's there for show.

Just honesty, I guess? Well, sugar-coated honesty till he's old enough to understand it all?

Pardon the long essay, lol.

What did you ladies do? Or guys?

ideally, I would never keep a child from their mother or their father, this is a part of them that they deserve

UNLESS there is physical abuse of the child

that being said, the truth is good without projecting negativity or forcing the child to choose sides

my daughters dad hasn't been around since she was 1 and a half and she just turned seven

I tell her he is too ill to handle the responsibility of family right now but he loves her,,,,,

although she continues to ask occasional questions about him,,(whats he like, where is he from, what he likes,,ec,,)


where he is is no longer something she asks,,,,,

Illness can mean so many different things.. It is a good reason, I suppose, for so many different cases.

I do not know if my son was hurt, but I am not willing to leave them alone together and risk that chance. I've seen and heard and felt too much to trust..

I'll allow them to meet then my son is old enough to understand what happened, and then he can choose for himself.

Thank you.

all my children have been dogs (4 legged covered in fur)
so i think it best for me to say nothing at all : )
do wish ya best of luck and know it has to be hard for sure

A WOMAN CAN ''NOT'' MAKE A MAN OUT OF A BOY--HE NEEDS A MAN TO TEACH HIM THAT---IT NEEDS

TO BE MOMENT TO MOMENT AS HIS QUESTIONS COME UP--SENSE WOMENS LIB OF THE 60'S AND THE

MALE'S RAISED BY WOMEN ONLY SENSE THEN WE HAVE CREATED SEVERAL GENERATIONS OF WUSSY'S

THAT DO NOT KNOW HOW TO RESPECT WOMEN OR EACH OTHER---MEN AND WOMAN ARE CREATED

DIFFERENTLY PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY THE ANSWER IS ''NOT'' TO ''FIX'' THE OTHER BUT TO

UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER AND WORK TOWARDS HELPING EACH OTHER GET OUR NEEDS MET---IF THERE

IS NOT TO BE A MALE IN THE HOUSE ''BIG BOTHERS AND SISTERS'' IS A GREAT ORG THAT CAN BE A LOT

HELP FOR YOU--WOUNDING A MIND IS JUST AS TISSUE DESTROYING AS A WEAPON---GOOD LUCK--

Emerald, I thought of you yesterday when my daughter told me she was going to have children by herself when she grows up

I don't want her to see me as the ideal at all, I struggle a lot trying to be all things by myself;


but I don't want her to feel negatively toward her Dad. I truly believe we are born from a male and female because we are meant and DESERVE to have a mother and father in our life


I think no child should be brought in the world without at least an INTENTION for them to have both a mother and father, that is why I would never deny a father involvement in a child's life unless they were abusing the child,,,

She has a big brother she adores, but it is still her brother and not her father,,,

I hate she is not having a 'father' in her life. When she is a bit older, I am sure we will discuss more in depth the significance of family and mothers and fathers ,,,,,,,,,

Ms Harmony, it's so sad what children have to go through but maybe it's sort of sweet that she said that? You must be doing wonderful as a mother or else she might have said "I'm not having any children."

Indeed, a father is ideal but sometimes circumstances prevent the possibility of it happening. If I had know what sort of wicked he was, I would have never looked twice.

He is also the reason I'm even more paranoid of the 'Big brother' organization, boy scouts, day cares, schools.. Anything where my son is away from me. My son is in daycare/school and will eventually do boy scouts/etc when he's ready but he will know things that children his age should not yet need to know.

I will have to ask his therapist about things like that and see what she recommends. She'll be over tomorrow anyway so will add it into our schedule.

good luck with everything,,,you will be in my thoughts

a kindred soul