Marriage? To be honest I never taught about getting married again. I was hoping to find a soul-mate, but not looking forward to an actual marriage. At age 44 I do not plan to have any kids or become a second mother to someone else's kids either.
Just as I want to have a financial independence, I would equally want partner to keep whatever he has, because I do not need it or want it. I would love to meet A PERSON whom I would share the rest of my life with to be there for each other, do things together, laugh and cry and share our little secrets.
Property, his or mine? Well, I wouldn't even go there.
I used to have more than I do now, but no complaints here. I'd rather live modestly, according to my means, than depend on anyone, regardless the feelings for and from that person.
Having no debts I can sleep without that type of worries. I want it to stay that way.
Maybe I am too proud, but I would never allow anyone to get a chance to put me into financially dependent position. No thanks!
Regarding agreement before marriage... hmm, not into marriage, but just in case it ever came to that, I would have to inquire about how international laws apply here, since I am from Europe, so property laws are different than Canadian ones.

was close to being married once, but it didn't happen. prior to that, i simply never found anyone i figured it would work out with. i take that part of my life more seriously than some, (it seems) as i really don't understand how people can actually have been married three, four or five times.

as for as having children, first let me say this, i love kids, but it has never been something i needed to do. especially given my marital (or lack thereof) status.

Many people often follow the trend of what society expects of them and always wonder what's wrong with them when it all comes crashing down. Life isn't just babies, marriage and being a housewife. In fact (shocker) it's none of those things entirely. There's nothing wrong with being alone. And it's frankly nobodys business why.

if i had it to do all over again i would had never gotten married. it is a designed system to steal from men and what men have earned.

marriage is the cheap trick, divorce is the $10K answer that considers men as a open wallet for all comers. i applaud the men that never fell for the trap

I am beginning to think that marriage has to do something with luck after all. Not that it is solely based on it, but one needs a bit of luck TO MEET the right person and then a lot of love, tolerance, compromise and patience to keep and deepen that relationship.
My brother recently told me I was so lucky to love and be loved, to trust and be trusted. He thinks his failed marriages didn't work because of lack of luck. Hmm!?
Well, I am not sure how could he be unlucky so many times and why he didn't wait before having kids. I told him he shouldn't have played "all in" every time and asked him why he didn't wait and see how the things would work out prior to becoming a dad again.
In his words, unlike him, all his ex-wives were dishonest, so it's not his fault. Hmmmm!?
Back to luck. He is probably right that I was lucky to meet someone special and fall in love. But from the moment we begun living together luck had nothing to do with it.
So... I do not know what to say. Is he right? Maybe I am "too greedy"? LOL
I already had love and now I want to love and be loved again, while some people, including him, never had such a relationship.
Does he have a reason to envy me? I am not sure. Perhaps he does. But why would he? He made his choices and I made mine.
Luck can be a factor in meeting that special someone, but does the lack of luck explain why he failed so many times? Hmmm, I think not!
His arguments do not sound too convincing to me and I do not think it would be, as he put it, "too greedy" to love and be loved again. All of us deserve love, but what shall we do with it once we find it?
I guess it is up to us and what we are willing and ready to make out of it.

So true. But we are here to meet someone, so I think the question why someone is alone is normal. We share our experiences, some good, some not so god, and after all we have been through, we hope to take each other's hand without fear of being hurt. If you do not wish to talk about it, that's fine. When the right person comes you will open up and talk to him. I hope you will find him.

Wow! I am resisting an urge to make a joke, because I have a feeling you wouldn't laugh. It seems that you still feel the consequences of the decisions you regret making, so I am not going to rub a salt on your wounds.
System is made the way it's made, but people still choose how to act. Perhaps you noticed that women are not equally paid in some careers? It is also a part of a system and some will take advantage of it, while some won't.
I am sorry that your experience was not too good. Let's hope you shall have bettter one in future.

Thank you for your reply. I guess we have different paths in life and that's OK. That's your choice and your life.

well you see that is where you are wrong, i have been married twice and divorced twice. my first wife the divorce cost her however much it was i really have no idea, i was served with divorce papers and asked to sign them so she could get remarried, now my 2nd marriage was somewhat different, i spent a small fortune fighting for my daughter and was forced to drag her character through the mud & slinging dirt (to this day i hate myself for doing but had to be done) fighting a system that almost refuses to acknowledge a man can rear children. i won the case and my daughter lives with me. and my x has forgiven me. as a matter of fact she lives 5 houses down with her new husband & our daughter see's her almost everyday.
are my opinions from the perspective of the one "scorned" no not really, that chapter is done/over/played out. my perspective comes from truth in how the real world works. in marriage/divorce the man is treated like a open wallet for all to get their hands on, that is fact acknowledged by you yourself in your line "Perhaps you noticed that women are not equally paid in some careers" that one sentence shows you know the system is geared towards the female and you brush it off by using the "excuse one bad behavior by pointing out another bad behavior" tactic (the adult version of a 6yr. old going "well billy did so and so",,,so instead of playing Jr. Psyche Lady or come of as a ***** with "you are scorned so you wont like the joke i am about to tell" and know what you are taking about when you try to psychoanalyze someone because they have a opinion on a subject you know yourself he was right but try to down play it because admitting he is right just hurts too bad. you come off in this thread subject and by your posts as a person who is very good at passing judgement on people, a very ugly trait to be known by

No, not really. As first, I have been paid less than my colleagues sometimes. As second, I never had kids, nor did I divorce. My husband died, so that is how I became single. As to admitting a mistake, if I made it, why not point out which one was it and if you are right, I'll admit making it.

your mistake was trying to play off my opinion as coming from being burnt therefor your attitude was pitty him and brush it off instead of treating him as someone who's opinion is a valid and very true to the real workings in the real world

I am sorry you have been burnt. It is not a pity, but an empathy.
I don't think pointing at system being used against me, just as it was used against you means brushing off, but that's how you perceived my reply. However, it was never intended to be either a pity or a brushing off.

I opened the thread to discuss things that are not easy to talk about. I admit the way I asked the questions may be provocative in order to get a response, but that's about it. The reason for asking the questions is trying to understand why people made some choices in life.

Apparently my choices are different than yours, which is neither wright nor wrong. It means they are different. That's all.

I HONESTLY THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY! SORRY IF I INSULTED YOU BY MY COMMENTS!

Here is an idea pentopaper2

Why not post your own topic on how the system favors women in divorce cases and see what others have to say about it?

It might be related to this topic, as some men are single because of fear that system shall be used against them in case of divorce in a future, but there are so many other reasons why people are single and that particular one is not the topic here.

So, why go off topic if it can become a topic itself?
Just a suggestion... Don't shoot! LOL

why start a discussion about something 90% of the population already knows is truth, (whether they admit it or not is a different story)males getting raped by the female and the courts in divorce is fact
a better topic in keeping to the topic would be "why do women feel it is just fine to run a man through the cleaners"

and for the record,,again i wasn't burnt,,my first divorce i just signed the papers and walked away and my 2nd divorce i walked away with full custody of my daughter. you chose to assume i was burnt and therefore treated me that way.

and for the 2nd record, i didn't go off topic, the question was posed and i answered & gave the reason why i thought that way, you chose to try to demean my opinion by trying to blow it off as "just bitter because he was burnt"

Pent..

Yup. Pretty much what she said.

beautiful