A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,

Really liked playing with fire.

One night in the dark

He swam with a shark,

And his voice is now two octaves higher.

I hope I don't get in trouble for this one but I thought it was humorous.


There once was a man from Kanass
Who's nuts were made out of brass
in stormy weather
he'd clack them together
and lightning shot out of his ass

LMAO!!!!!

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ya ok

There was a farting contest coming to town
and people came from miles around
the first fart was extremely loud
the second fart pleased the crowd
the third fart, the judges cried
"He **** his pants, he's disqualified!"

LOL. i dont care what everybody else say thats fucckin funni...

Ok last one for the night before some wishes to shoot me or something.

There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colorful lack of restraint.

Sorry I couldn't resist.

There once was this strange guy
Who posted up limericks but why
No matter who said what
He wouldn't keep his mouth shut
And has just invaded Just say hi

There was a young man from Bombay
On a slow boat to China one day
He was trapped at the tiller
By a sex starved gorilla
And China's a long long way.


Drake is sailing West lads
Columbus sailing East
While tiny Fred
Just stays in bed
The lazy little beast

Apologies for the language.

There was a young girl of Detroit,
Who at f*cking was very adroit.
She could squeeze her vagina,
To a pin-point, or finer,
Or open it out like a quoit.

There was a young lady of Kew,
Who said as the Curate withdrew,
"The Vicar is slicker,
And quicker and thicker,
And two inches longer than you."


There was a young man from Cape Cod,
Who put his own mom in pod,
Nis name? It was Tucker,
The Bugger, the F*cker,
The Bleeder, The Bastard, The Sod.


There once was a Bishop of Buckingham,
Who wrote 'Woman and Twelve ways of F*ckin' 'em',
He then went berserk,
When outdone by a Turk,
Who wrote 'Assholes and Twelve Way of Suckin' 'em'.


There once was an old Jew from Peru,
Who was vainly trying to screw,
His wife said, "Oi vey,
If you don't hurry,
The messiah will come before you!"

Those are funny uk1971

There was a young man from Rangoon,
Whose farts could be heard to the moon.
When you’d least expect ‘em,
They’d burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon.

There once was a man from Belgras
Who had balls made out of glass
On hot sunny days
They focused the sun’s rays
And burned all the hair off his ass

There once was a slut from peru

Who filled her vagina with glue

she said with a grin

“If you pay to get in

then you pay to get out again too!”

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM PERU
WHO LIKED SLEEPING IN HIS CANOE
WHILE DREAMING OF VENUS
HE PLAYED WITH HIS PENIS
AND WOKE UP WITH A HAND FULLA GOO

THEREONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET
WITH A D*CK SO LONG HE COULD SUCK IT
HE SAID WITH A GRIN
AS HE WIPED OFF HIS CHIN
IF MY EAR WAS A PU**Y ID FU*K IT

There once was a man from Rangoon,
Who was born nine months too soon,
He didn't have the luck,
To be born by a ****,
He was scraped off the sheets with spoon.

Those were good as well uk1971 and FETTS61

This is going to be bad

There once was a gal named Sally Brown
She said no guy could lay her down
When down the street came piss pot Pete
With 30lbs of hanging meat
He took a leap he took a dash
He shoved his pecker up her azz
Well Sally got mad and blew a fart
And blew his pecker all apart
And down the street went piss pot Pete
With 30lbs of shreaded wheat.


I can be sassy some times

That was also good pkh
I hope we don't get in trouble for these posts. I find that they are humorous.

There was a man named J
That could easily come my way
He looked at me right
With all his might
And now he's flirting all night