A retired corporate executive decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life... until the boat sank!
He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks her,
"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
She replies,
"I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing,"
he says.
"You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?"
replies the woman.
"I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branch and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem,"
replied the woman.
"On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable, ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place,"
she says. After a few hours of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls out off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually,
"It's not much, but I call it home sit down, please
would you like a drink?"
"No. No, thank you,"
he says, still dazed.
"Can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice,"
the woman replies.
"I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing,"
he muses
"What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and flowers strategically positioned, and smelling of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her!
"Tell me,"
she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,
"We've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months?" She stares into his eyes and takes his hand in hers...
He can't believe what he's hearing. He swallows excitedly, tears start to form in his eyes, and says,
"You mean... I can check my e-mail from here?"

THAT IS.............BAD!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT GOOD!

thats the syndrome of modern man alright.

blimey, that was too funny!!

thats what happens when you stay out in the sun to long

great one!!

LMAO You could only be a Brit.