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| Topic: Going through rough times with your partner, your opinion? | |
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helped you move to her country, This part alone is just....... Oh my gosh, she helped me move to her country... Really now? I was the one who left his home, friends, family... It's not like she did me a favor with that. And as to all the other comments about how she fled and was scared and how I abused her and what not... I never said it was easy for her, but it's not like those are things that just happen. There were reasons, a sickness, a tumor... What happened to sticking such things through with the person you love? What happened to "together, we can master this"? If there wasn't any obvious reasoning for my mistakes, then yeah, leave as soon as you can pretty much, but in this case? After everything I gave up? Try to look at your relationship from an impartial point of view. What would you have done if the roles were reversed. The only person you can improve is yourself, work at that. Feeling sorry for yourself is the first step down into Depression, anxiety and all kinds of mental problems. Focus on the good things in your life and count your blessings. Good luck on sorting your life out. I find the poem "Desiderata" uplifting, maybe it will help lift you up. I paid for a house long before I was able to move, just to offer her a home. I worked my *** off in Austria to be able to pay for everything, I flew to America and back once a month, stayed there with her for a week, just to see her, and so on. And y'all seriously say that she's the victim? She definitely has some issues herself, she started that thing with her manager knowing that he's married, has a baby... Where are her morals? |
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To all of you who think I abused her: I didn't. When I said psychotic break outs, I meant that I had moments of not being able to trust her, moments when I freaked out because of literally nothing, moments when I just grabbed her phone without her knowledge and went through her texts. And bad thing is this isn't the first time. I found out about lies and another guy who was secretly over at our house while we were still long distance... So it's not like I kept abusing her. ... Op.. I think count your blessings.. be happy you're . she is out of your life. she doesn't sound the type... To care about you even if you cut your finger off.... but to answer your question.. yes if you're in a committed long term relationship.. longer than 2 years . let's say... then you stick together through thick and thin.... that is everybody has a breaking point.. I mean it is each person's life.. to live it the way they see...ie.. how much of the other person's baggage.. do you really want to carry..hmm.. but be glad she's gone. . and work on your trust issues.. but in a. honest open trusting relationship.. they don't give you reasons not to trust them...by.. |
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Long story short, dated a girl for over two years, moved to the US for her (I'm from Austria), had been long distance for over a year, then got married when I moved. I had psychotic breakouts every now and then (mistrust, arguing for no reason, and so on), we had talked about those things but never why they could exist. She started getting closer to her new manager at her work, then said she needed a break. I went to a therapist, got diagnosed with severe anxiety due to things that happened to me in my childhood, she didn't care. Later on I got diagnosed with a brain tumor that had caused those psychotic breakouts, she didn't care though, only said she already made her decision. That manager is married himself, has a six month old daughter. They're kinda dating now, she is all over him. I'm okay now health wise. But I still can't understand it, she used to tell me how perfect I am and how I'm the love of her life, she kept telling me that up until a few days before she told me she needed a break (she spent that break hanging out with him after hours as much as possible). I'm moving on and I'm not crying over it anymore, but I would really like to understand it. Shouldn't you be there for your partner through things like that? Even if it was rough at times, but something like a tumor should change things dramatically, shouldn't it? Or am I just too old fashioned to believe that couples work such things out together? I'm sorry for what you're going true right now! just like others comment i will say the same thing. I know is hard to erase the past from one day to the next...Just remember is always tomorrow, the sun will come out and shine again. She will realize later what she had was better than being somebody's LOVER. I had been in the same boat where you're. My ex-husband did something similar but I try to do better every day, forget the past and be thankful for another day! You're lucky they're no kids involved try to think positive and remember KARMA will come back to bite her A..S sooner or later. Good luck with everything you do and best wishes for a better future. 
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helped you move to her country, This part alone is just....... Oh my gosh, she helped me move to her country... Really now? I was the one who left his home, friends, family... It's not like she did me a favor with that. And as to all the other comments about how she fled and was scared and how I abused her and what not... I never said it was easy for her, but it's not like those are things that just happen. There were reasons, a sickness, a tumor... What happened to sticking such things through with the person you love? What happened to "together, we can master this"? If there wasn't any obvious reasoning for my mistakes, then yeah, leave as soon as you can pretty much, but in this case? After everything I gave up? I paid for a house long before I was able to move, just to offer her a home. I worked my *** off in Austria to be able to pay for everything, I flew to America and back once a month, stayed there with her for a week, just to see her, and so on. And y'all seriously say that she's the victim? She definitely has some issues herself, she started that thing with her manager knowing that he's married, has a baby... Where are her morals? I'm probably wasting my time, but I'm going to say it anyway...If you don't let go, your anger and bitterness is going to hurt you even more than she did  ....People are telling you to move on for a reason Euro....
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helped you move to her country, This part alone is just....... Oh my gosh, she helped me move to her country... Really now? I was the one who left his home, friends, family... It's not like she did me a favor with that. And as to all the other comments about how she fled and was scared and how I abused her and what not... I never said it was easy for her, but it's not like those are things that just happen. There were reasons, a sickness, a tumor... What happened to sticking such things through with the person you love? What happened to "together, we can master this"? If there wasn't any obvious reasoning for my mistakes, then yeah, leave as soon as you can pretty much, but in this case? After everything I gave up? I paid for a house long before I was able to move, just to offer her a home. I worked my *** off in Austria to be able to pay for everything, I flew to America and back once a month, stayed there with her for a week, just to see her, and so on. And y'all seriously say that she's the victim? She definitely has some issues herself, she started that thing with her manager knowing that he's married, has a baby... Where are her morals? OK OK you win...you are the victim 
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I have no sympathy.
Sounds to me like you're unstable so why should anyone put up with that. Your whole message is about me me me. |
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I have no sympathy. Sounds to me like you're unstable so why should anyone put up with that. Your whole message is about me me me. Yeah, you got it Franky. He says that they were both mental and now he isn't anymore and she bailed because she had her reasons but what she did was less crazy. He said that he had psychotic episodes and started arguments for no reason and then said some other lame BS about how he didn't do nothing and she was the nutter. You're saying that you think that he's still a nutter I think but he said that his brain tumour went away but he stil had that stuff in his childhood that made him a psycho. I'm not his psychiatrist and I'm not his doctor and neither of us are interested in this guy really because I'm not gay and you are, so let's just ignore this dude and let him get on with whatever trip he's on. I was going to send you a message the other day but I couldn't because you have me blocked and you called me an old perv. I would like to send you a friend invitation so that we can have a chat sometime and I really do mean it when I say that I want to be friends because you're gay, according to you're story anyway. |
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Let me be the
 advocate:
Her morals are that she allegedly lured you to leave your home and move to america. Married you, tolerated your insanely suspicious behavior until another provided her solace. I don't know her but can imagine that she might have thought your brain tumor was a ruse to regain her affections. True or not, she didn't buy it. She's gone. If she was immoral in your thinking you should be relieved, not angry. Either adjust to your new homeland and citizenship or apply yourself to returning home to all that you gave up for her. She didn't break you, ain't up to her to fix you. And, by the way, most people do express sympathy for abused women. But a dude just has to man up and soldier on. Good luck my friend. |
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To all of you who think I abused her: I didn't. When I said psychotic break outs, I meant that I had moments of not being able to trust her, moments when I freaked out because of literally nothing, moments when I just grabbed her phone without her knowledge and went through her texts. And bad thing is this isn't the first time. I found out about lies and another guy who was secretly over at our house while we were still long distance... So it's not like I kept abusing her. Sorry bro... but I think you're hanging on your own rope there. At the beginning of your statement you say "To all of you who think I abused her: I didn't." But 'taking her phone' isn't cool at all ; coupled with your closing statement; "So it's not like I kept abusing her." Sorry dude.... that dog don't hunt. Fail! Whosurdaddy. |
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