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| Topic: Lists and Attraction | |
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When we talk about what we are 'attracted' to , how far does that go in determining WHO we are attracted to?
for instance, I am (physically) attracted to: 6 foot or taller olive skin or darker broad shoulders smooth skin bright pretty smile or characteristically attracted to: confident witty ethical considerate intelligent charming but what if I were to meet a guy who was all the things on my character list, but he was 5 foot 10 and pale,,,would I discard him for not being tall or darker skin, because Im not particularly attracted specifically to 5 foot 10 and pale? do we really discard our potential partners over one or two things that don't match our list? or do which things don't match matter more? I would want to get to know this shorter paler guy better personally, whats on your list that's just on your list (preference)? whats on your list that's an actual DEAL BREAKER(Mandate)? as Ive gotten more mature, my deal breakers are: deadbeat dads bullies, those who take God or Christians to be a joke those who use a lot of profanity those full of paranoia or hate those who have not had children,,, those who are 'self made' and don't 'need' anyone (not family oriented or appreciative of their relationships) |
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do we really discard our potential partners over one or two things that don't match our list? or do which things don't match matter more?
Personally for me all the physical and visual is a bonus for me and not a deal breaker. I seek the man inside not the outside. The inside will actually decide how the outside appears in my eye. |
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do we really discard our potential partners over one or two things that don't match our list? or do which things don't match matter more?
Personally for me all the physical and visual is a bonus for me and not a deal breaker. I seek the man inside not the outside. The inside will actually decide how the outside appears in my eye. Very elequont BrandnewJ. I agree |
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Edited by
BrandNewJourney
on
Sun 03/30/14 09:09 AM
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Thank you both
It was not an easy path to the point I am now. My ex was beautiful on the outside and yet inside I found a monster. This helped to guide me to what I need today. |
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You may find my answer really weird, but I don't actually know what type I'm physically attracted to, because most of my boyfriends, were talking to me online, before I'd seen their face. In chatrooms. I only saw what they looked like, a few months after chatting. Which is similar to dating in the dark. I may prefer that, because even though you don't know what he looks like, you know what he SOUNDS like on the phone, you know his personality traits, his quirks, what makes him laugh, etc. We were chatting every day, so we did in the effort.
If I can't get a feel of who he is, then looks won't matter anyway? |
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You may find my answer really weird, but I don't actually know what type I'm physically attracted to, because most of my boyfriends, were talking to me online, before I'd seen their face. In chatrooms. I only saw what they looked like, a few months after chatting. Which is similar to dating in the dark. I may prefer that, because even though you don't know what he looks like, you know what he SOUNDS like on the phone, you know his personality traits, his quirks, what makes him laugh, etc. We were chatting every day, so we did in the effort. If I can't get a feel of who he is, then looks won't matter anyway? I kind of agree. For me the chemistry is there or it isn't. I'm just not sure what that chemistry is. |
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I have great respect for various moral/behavioral qualities, and even have disrespect for others. As for physical qualities, I think it depends on the combination of what magically or unknowingly appeals to me. for example, I dont generally like the look of heavily buff men, but if other attractive qualities were present, I may have a change of heart. bottom line; When it comes down to attraction, I will know it when it happens to me. I think lots of folks start out being attracted to one person, but as they get to know them, they can become repelled by the same person. Alternatively, I think people are NOT attracted to someone at first, and then develop an attraction later. ^this...I don;t even pay attention to "initial" attractions any longer |
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I kind of agree. For me the chemistry is there or it isn't. I'm just not sure what that chemistry is. For me Franky, I know it when I feel it. You cannot put it to words. I think you will know it when it happens. |
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You may find my answer really weird, but I don't actually know what type I'm physically attracted to, because most of my boyfriends, were talking to me online, before I'd seen their face. In chatrooms. I only saw what they looked like, a few months after chatting. Which is similar to dating in the dark. I may prefer that, because even though you don't know what he looks like, you know what he SOUNDS like on the phone, you know his personality traits, his quirks, what makes him laugh, etc. We were chatting every day, so we did in the effort. If I can't get a feel of who he is, then looks won't matter anyway?  agreed and my answer to why I often go for awhile w/out a photo...someone who pesters me for a photo will be too superficial
I do find physical attraction important but it is more likely to be there when we are attracted on another basis. my boyfriends have not looked much alike, actually |
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For me I look inside the person, not the outside. I really love a good sense of humor someone to laugh with. So if he makes me laugh were half way there
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Appearance is a bonus, but its the personality that counts for me.
I prefer men who are humble, hardworking, honest, committed. I find I also tend to be turned off by men who arent fathers, but if your a dad you HAVE to be taking full responsibility for your kid/s otherwise I cant trust you around mine. He has to have a sense of humor and be patient. |
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I have always been attracted to those 5'11 and taller.... And tend to go for the darker hair.... But that is not a factor...
I like tall guys and those that have a sense of humor... Eye contact is a must and love a pretty smile the kind that light up the eyes.... That alone will have me drooling 
I don't like guys that whine all the time or arrogant. Either of those are a deal breaker for me... But... I have dated shorter and all colors of hair some pale and some darker..... As long as the chemistry is there then all that really does not matter.. But how they act and treat you and those around you will be the final factor if they stay or go.... 
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You may find my answer really weird, but I don't actually know what type I'm physically attracted to, because most of my boyfriends, were talking to me online, before I'd seen their face. In chatrooms. I only saw what they looked like, a few months after chatting. Which is similar to dating in the dark. I may prefer that, because even though you don't know what he looks like, you know what he SOUNDS like on the phone, you know his personality traits, his quirks, what makes him laugh, etc. We were chatting every day, so we did in the effort. If I can't get a feel of who he is, then looks won't matter anyway? I kind of agree. For me the chemistry is there or it isn't. I'm just not sure what that chemistry is. I think it's when you both have a big mental connection with each other. Where things just click into place, without having to force it? |
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