How can you spend 18yrs raising your kid to be nice,honest,good decent people to go out into the world. Then they turn 18 and all your work goes out the window cause they say I'm 18 I will no longer be that person cause I want tats and piercings all over my face. I will do as i please.So what's the point if all I can do is guide them and they don't listen anymore. Seriously disappointed

Regardless what they take in while growing up you still love them unconditionally.. We all grow up and do what we want too but in the long run we still take some of what our parents taught us along the way.

My son got the tattoo's and ears pieced after he turned 18. Went through the drug stage as well... After time went by he got rid of the earrings and drug free... Of course the tattoo's are for a lifetime.. But I actually love the tattoo's he choose to have....

Even though he went a different path then I expected at first I never walked away... At times that does make a difference..

I don't know anyone that did everything their parents wanted them to do...in the end it is what is within them and that the parents never give up on them finding themselves...

.. yes I feel your pain..
. but honestly we did the same thing when we were there age.. and for the most part we turned out okay...
.. you can lead a horse to water... but if you have to chop his legs off just to get him to drink... not really worth it...

Ps.. overlook the last part it sounded way better in my head lol..

Unconditional love is always there but its tough enough to get a job for young adults you should probably not tatoo your face would you agree

I agree on the face part but what is done is done..

He will have to deal with the consequences on his own.... and make the best of it...

.. well I read a quote from an artist. singer-songwriter.. who tattooed his head. the reason being.. his dad wanted him to be normal.. so he thought if he tattooed his head. there would be no chance of him ever being normal.. are holding down a normal job.. which in turn forced him to to become the famous person he is today.... the harder you try to force someone to fit in.. the more they're going to fight you... try to help him pick out something.. that might be acceptable... stand behind your son instead of in front of him... if you get my meaning..

too often parents really try to lead their kids instead of support them. they cooperate better with support than authority (most times)

Thank You all for your opinions ,he decided to wait until he moves out in two short months. Then do whatever to yourself . Best compromise I could think of.

.. I don't know what that means??
. so was this about him making you happy.!!.wow..

Well tatoos aint bad buh it depends on d individual wearin t, if for show biz noo problem buh if for terror that bcoms so bad........parents I thnk so be more closer to there kids and allow them say their mind or wot they think..of coz with reasons u can tell them and show them that they are wrong softly rather than using harsh words or imposing wot they must do

some kids rebel against the examples set for them

but there is a continuum where children rebel/stray/explore and parents stand firm/provide stability and dependability/ and guide


no one said it was easy, but I do firmly believe we as parents have to show that we mean what we say and say what we mean, the standards we set should be those we live by and those we consistently encourage and promote

I think you did the right thing with the 'compromise'. My parents likewise did not allow tattoos and piercings so long as they were financially responsible for our well being

and we knew that the 'pivilege' of those choices, came only with the 'responsibility' of being financially responsible for ourselves

its kewl that there is the mutual consideration by each of you for the other,,,

I will say this I never never stopped being there for my son...NO matter what he went through, I still stood beside him in all the mistakes or choices he made....

I have never told either of my kids how to live their lives nor made them feel as if they were any less of a person...

My son lived with me off and on till he was 27...ever how long it took him to get his **** together my door was open...

He is 31 now and has made a complete turn around from what was going on....He finally admitted a couple years ago that no matter what he had done I was always there for him....

He has a great job now and drug free....the tattoo's will always remain but I do love his choices with the ones he had done...

I never paid for his tattoo's or piecing's and they were done after he turned 18...

We are actually very close....why cause I never gave up on him or pushed him away....


I hope you and your son can find that road to share and not cut ties....

No that compromise was not for me it was to get more time to give him to think ,what he's about to do. His decision is his to make, he knows that. I have and will be there for him regardless.

I know it's hard when your son/daughter doesn't listen to ur advice. All we want is the best for them and mostly, not to make the same mistakes we parents did. But at that age, we really can't force them to do what we want them to do. They think they know better, they're wiser and mostly, they think we don't understand them and we don't know anything, that we don't want them to have fun or enjoy themselves. 18, 20s,etc etc etc, they're still a baby that needs to explore things on their own, to keep falling and bumping themselves before learning how to crawl then stand up and finally to walk. Yes it is really really hard just to let them do what they want to but it is better for a person to learn things on their own. A lot of mistakes will be done, some teenage girls gets pregnant at a very young age, boys get girls pregnant, drinking booze, smoking, drugs. If only they are robots and will only do things what we tell them to do. That would really make parenting so bloody easy but it's not. This is life. It hurts to see our kids suffer, hurt and wasting their life but as long we gave and give all the help, advices, support, and will always be there for them, we really can't do more than that. The more u stop them from doing what they want, the more they want to do it and will find any ways just to get wat they want and that's mostly not a good thing. Best thing for this stage is communication, explanation why this and that and patience. The best lesson in life is the lesson learned itself. This is my reply because I was once that kind of teenager and just realised how right my family was now that I'm a parent myself.