Say you are dating someone. You get along very well and the relationship is great.....

Then out of the blue they let you know that they suffer from depression. Of course they take thier Meds Daily and have been fine for a while now..

Well, The question is would you continue Dating this person or would you end the relationship?

Anyone with any experiences in this area?

my ex was always having highs and lows...never took medication though...it's a very trying experience...i'm not sure i'd want to go through that again.

My last relationship was with a woman who suffered depression.

I knew it going in, and thought I could help her get better,,,NO,,,,I COULDN'T...

After 6 years, I gave up on US, lots of issues, ,,,,,
From nice to SUPER DEMON, in the bat of an eye,,,had to rearange
every room in the house every week,,,,she was NEVER wrong,.
She also had her thyrod gland removed, so SHE had alot of areas to try and keep a good balance....

It wouldn't matter to me, as long as they were taking steps to help themselves with it. But, I will say, living with someone who does nothing to try to help the problem is a little stressful, I know that from experience. But, only you can say what you're willing to deal with and what you're not.

I think it would depend on the individual case.. I have dated some that CLAIM to be suffering from the depression but to me leaned more on the Schitzo end of the pole... I think that any problem like that should be medicated and I would NEVER again date someone who has mental illness. Everyone has had a ****ty thing or two happen in their lives, deal with. I speak from experience because I HAVE had ****ty things happen to me, MANY ****ty things, but one day I evaluated my life and looked at where I let these things put me and I stood up and took care of business.. If I can do it anyone can.. I might be single but I am the happiest single person and I know every day I have achieved what I needed in order to hold my head HIGH.

Hi Mike,

By all means, if the individual has taken responsibility for his or her wellness and is in treatment for their depression and managing to function just fine, there is no reason for you not to date her.

Many people with Depression who are in treatment are able to live full, mentally and emotionally balanced lives as long as they keep up with their treatment. But if they are clearly not coping, if life for them is a daily struggle and they have not found stability through therapy and medication, it is almost certainly guaranteed that you will not be able to develop a healthy relationship with them. Therefore, to proceed with dating them would be ill advised.

Good Luck...................Benz !!!

Mandie you are wrong...depression is not something to be taken so lightly and everybody can't deal with it in the same manner. Kudos to you for beating it but it is a health problem not easily beaten. And never put someone down because they deal with depression...they are not freaks.

MIKE...

WOW, that would be a hard one for me. You know we talked briefly about this very topic....depression. My ex-husband suffered with it for years. I kept thinking that things would get better. Him staying on his meds was hard for him to accept. I am not sure that I would want to be in another relationship of feeling like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Feeling that was is NEVER any fun. Ultimately it is your decision to make, I just think I could make myself feel that vunerable again.

I was married to someone that suffered with depression. It takes the energy right out of you. Its always about them, Always. So there is no sharing in the relationship. Don't get me wrong there were good times but the bad times just seem to cancel them out.

Puffins,

You know all to well what a person suffering from this can do to your Life. When I was writing this I new what your answer would be. I couldn't do again either.

I can understand where you're coming from Mike, it's not something easily dealt with. All depends on how much you are willing to deal with. Perhaps you could try to get her to go to a doctor on one of her good days?I f she refuses then you've done all you can do.

I think too, it depends on the depression, is it situational or something chronic? Chronic depression can be treated, with the right medication in conjunction with therapy. But, what you have to remember with someone suffering with chronic depression, you can't fix it, you can't change it, only they can do that and they have to be willing to do whatever it takes and if they are unwilling or unable, there is nothing you can do to make it right. You're only human, after all, the only thing you have control over is yourself. Treatment takes its toll, and medications have their own sets of issues. Do you have the patience it would take to see it through? If not, it might be better to just let it go now.

DEPRESSION is SOMETHING, that "THEY" might have ALL their life, and NO-ONE, can FULLY HELP THEM OUT OF IT,, It is a disorder in SOME, that is like bad vision or hearing loss,,IT JUST CAN'T BE "FIXED" just "EXCEPTED"......

No, it really can't be "fixed" or cured, it just is. But, there are things that can be done to help make it better, just like glasses would help you see better or a hearing aid would help. The problem doesn't go away, but the symptoms can be lessened.

Depression is a mental illness that people like myself cannot help. There is a chemical imbalance in the brain that many medications just do not fix. I have not tried medication for personal reasons- and, quite frankly, I don't believe they would help. I went through problems in my past relationship merely because my fiance' at the time thought it was something I could just snap out of. Believe me, I wish it were that easy! I've had many issues with my parents and I have both highs and lows. It's difficult finding someone who can be there for me through both. I understand that it's a lot of work, but there's something everyone here should realize. When someone is going through depression, they do not want you to be your savior. In fact, we don't even want your sympathy! Like everyone else, we just want to be loved while we fight our inner demons. I've gone through multiple suicide attempts. Luckily, I have a wonderful man now who has stuck with me through my highs and lows and I've finally been able to trust that there is someone out there who won't leave me.

IM glad for YOU, Motevia....
GREAT luck and love to your future...

I have been in a relationship with a manic depressive
it is very draining, and I don't know if I could do it again

I think it depends on the person and what they can or cannot handle

I mean is it any different dealing with someone that has physical limitations, (asthma, neurological, or arthritic, etc)?

I know dealing with mental issues is very difficult,,,
I have a friend that is bipolar, and some days we can't hold a conversation without my friend having an episode, but I care about my friend just the same...

No matter what the person is dealing with in their live
everyone deserves a chance to connect with someone special, if that's possible

just my 2 cents....................

The problem with people today is everybody always want someone who is funny all the time, or they are not happy with the relationship and want to leave. Well nobody is going to be happy all the time, you have good times-days as well as bad, thats life. If a person is depressed they can't help it, but they still could be the best person you will ever meet, and treat you better than anyone ever could. Now yes it is trying and hard but it can be overcome with support from the other half. All in all it just depends on the person you are inside.

dave, sorry man, BUT it can be only EXCEPTED, NOT OVERCOMED.
Been THERE with my BEST THOUGHTS ALWAYS,,and STILL, could NOT OVERCOME,,ALOT of DAYS with a MANIC DEPRESSED PERSON...

I could find something to do, as SHE would be in deep DEPRESSED solitude of a BED, blanket, and pillow,,,,and NO-MATTER what I TRIED to do,,to CHANGE THAT,,,"NO",,,,SHE COULD NOT BE GOOD
with her mood or self,,,until,,,,her MIND and MEDS,,,got GOOD..

I am a happy nature and "THOUGHT" it was ENOUGH to bring her out of HER'S,,,,NO,,,IT WASN'T....

depression cannot be made better by anyone else
especially when the person refuses to get any kind of help (therapy, meds, or even acknowledging that they have a problem)

and then if they get help some may never fully learn to deal with depression and what it means to deal with everyday life, while dealing with depression

it's something to go through and deal with
it was very draining and painful for me
I tried to be there for him, but he didn't care about anyone...
not even himself...
I feel if it gets to the point that you lose your sense of self
it's time to let go and move on....