in the grey of time
she sits outside my wall
I know she's there
the creaking of my bones
reflection tells me
it won't be long
long before these eyes close
this breath is no more

still when I look deeply
the eyes are bright blue
but no one notices
they walk by as if a number
stopping once or twice
to give a canned hello
something I suppose taught to do
add hope to the days

but I know she's there
waiting for the after

do I recall
or are these stories
designed to make me smile as if
my mind fades now to moments
knowing the black that is there
almost welcomed to relieve the day
a pain without hurt
a void in space
once occupied by thoughts
now roaming in air

did I give up
did it give up on me
or is it just time
I can hear her
afraid to look
to step into the beyond
I hold on tightly
half in half out
speaking with no one to hear
reaching with no hand to touch

we pray for graceful
let down easy
full of me still
but most is gone
the grey remains
she sits patiently
knowing the end

that's it isn't it
it's the end that greets me with fear
stops me from living now
a sign infront of my face
waving her hands
look at me she says
I'm outside damn you
look at me

she would do anything to keep me from living
every moment taken is a moment waisted
I can sit here and look through that window
out to the other side of that wall
or I can put one foot onto this ground
grasp the arms with my might
raise myself from this chair
and stand
my God I'm standing

my legs underneigh me feel like oaks
step toward the door and it swings
I gaze down the hall with no one to block me
and I'm walking
walking free and strong
air fills my lungs without effort
colors are bright with beauty
freshness surrounds

another door swings
the air of outside is like no other
I feel
youthful
I'm doing it
actually moving

walking the sidewalk
I see my room from outside in
reverse of that window
hard to see I press against
cupping my hands on the glass
their making my bed so they must know
but nobody chases or calls me back

evening grows with me standing quietly content
not a person to be found
until I feel that hand
I turn to see
and it is her
but your not so grim
why your rather peaceful and kind
and not so all that hard to look at

we begin to walk
and walk some more
I hadn't walked this far in forever
why I look around me and don't know where I am
but something is familar
something that has always been a part of me
we approach yet another door
more like an entrance a passage
different to the touch but there

oh they were right but they were wrong
I wish I could go back to tell
but why spoil the journey
now I understand
smile as I think about how silly it all was
man made the rules and followed their foolishness
funny how simple it all is
we made something difficult that didn't need to be
freedom was always there
and we built our own jail

I hear my name
voices of those not heard in quite some time
it's odd
I can still cry
tears of joy unspeakable
I can hardly contain
so beautiful I now know bliss
thinking of the book I now get it
Noah and the ark
I finally get it
laughing like a silly child
I finally get it

there never was the grey
only the grey of my mind

smile
laugh

there never was the grey

Ahhh MG ...It's been too long!...Thank you darlin...

Oh my goodness, what a masterpiece!
I'm not afraid of dying and now I know why.
Thank you so much for the positive view of death.
Death is not the end... it is a reunion with your loved ones.
Bravo!!!