I was dating a guy for a while. Well. Just a few months. Just casually. Meeting once a week for dinner and a movie... some times making out but we never went all sexual. We were out of town one evening, at a nice restaurant, this little child comes over and says, "Daddy who is that woman?" I was floored. Then three more children come to the table, followed by a very beautiful woman. She quietly gathered her children, leading him by the arm, out of the place. I was stuck paying the bill, a whopping 80 bucks, but feeling very rich in the fact of knowing I had done nothing wrong. I never had a clue. He was very good at what he did. I have never heard from him again. I am glad he left it alone. I commend this woman, the jilted wife, there was no drama, no screaming, none of that ghetto trashy crap. And I wouldn't blame her if she beat the living crap outta him after they got home.

I don't get how people can go out with someone for several months and not know basic facts about them.

Being married is such easy information to find out about someone being a matter of public record.

It seems like it would be a matter of personal safety. If a wife is able to track a husband down and walk into an upscale restaurant with three kids in tow wouldn't the same woman be able to pull out a pistol and shoot both of you dead in your chairs? What about years to come when those three kids who were publicly humiliated get an opportunity to even the score? Karma is rough. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Don't think I would rest too easy.

I agree with you. I can't believe that you went out with a guy for several months and didn't find out anything about him? Married, family, etc? Did he not have a mark where his wedding ring had been on his finger? He never talked about his kids in that time either? Can't be a proud dad if he never mentioned his kids? I've only got one and he's my life, but this guy had 4 kids? Most be one good liar, or just a cold-hearted, b*****d?

I agree he was definitely a cold hearted B, but once again you guys are falling into the trap of blaming the wrong person. It is not her fault that he was married, nor her fault that he chose to hide it.

Where have you been? Married men have been coyly hiding the fact for ages. As often as not it is a friend or even the man's wife that tells the "other" woman that sed fella is taken. Are peeps on here really so naieve. Maybe she did ask him..maybe he lied. I have had that happen....and if she is just into casual meet ups things probably had not progressed that far because it doesn;t sound like they met up that often.

or maybe she's just stupid and naieve...either way it is not her fault that he's a cheater and just because your ex was less than stellar, does not expunge all male sin....

that first website is stupid!

look up "three things woman do wrong
when men cheat.

1)investigate: like they say if the
relationship isn't working for the two
of you then DONT spent time and energy
trying to prove he's cheating, even if its
bringing on paranoia" this is true, If something isn't
right then it must be wrong.
2)blaming the other woman, Its beyond me
that so many people want to blame the other
person. I would never blame some other
man,he would be nothing but a stupid
stiff prick to me.
Its within her a need to trust.

3) blaming themselves and thinking they need
to change...for the person that cheated.

{{{Pacific Star}}} Many things come out
later in regular off line relationships
as the first stage of a relationship is the
Infatuation stage that would last for maybe
2-4 months.
Infatuation makes your dopamines soar into
full on euphoria. This is often why people
seek out sex, time and time again, the body
gets addiction to its own release of dopamines.
the infatuation stage is an ebb n flow, as we don't
have the physical ability to maintain that intensity
with out frying. Studies in the Netherlands
have said there is a parallel between male
ejaculation & someone that just fixed up on heroine.
The brain acts 95% the same. I wish I was part of the sex study, it was all volunteers male and females.
It sounds like a big orgy.

A lot of people's train of thought may not be
that sharp until the landing stage.
I know when I'm in the infatuation stage I can
lay in bed for 2 months and sleep like a baby.
when I'm single, I sleep 5 1/2 to 6 hours a day.

Okay. It's like the Salem witch trials here. We exchanged the usual information before we ever went out. Hello. This was like 5 years ago. I was not nearly was internet savvy. He said he had never been married, no kids. He actually told me he was unable to have kids. HA!
I was reluctant to take him to my apartment, as with any man, at first. I have kids and don't want just anyone in my home. We always went out and that was a treat for me. Crap... I worked 60 hours a week. Why wouldn't it be? ANd why I feel like I need to defend myself is beyond me. I can honestly say, there was never any indication that sparked my suspicions about said sleazeball. I didn't care about going to his house because most men think when they get you to into their comfort zone that it means they can get you in the sack. And I wasn't prepared to give it up and I am very glad I didn't. IDC what your opinion of me is, I was just simply commenting on this post. SHeesh.

Another thing. I don't dig into a person's past unless I distrust them. That requires too much time and energy I could be using for doing something constructive.
He had no mark nor indentation where a band would have been worn. That is of course one of the first things I look at upon meeting a man. He didn't have a busy phone or anything of that nature. He was 100% absorbed when we were together. I didn't really consider us as serious enough to intro to family. My kids never met him. Like I said, he was just a casual date.

I with you Peekaboo! We as women, tend to trust the guy we are dating.. I wouldn't under normal circumstances feel it's my JOB to investgate my date like that.

Granted , we live and learn from our mistakes.

Exactly. I am very untrusting now. I don't believe anything lol. I may smile and listen and make nice but in my head I am making a mental list of facts that need checked out lol. That is horrible.

Some very married men do not wear bands anymore. They tell their wives , it's " uncomfortable" Yeah, I bet it is.. uncomfortable for him to cheat on his wife easier!

People tend to forget... when someone wants to be sleazy, Man Or Woman.. they will find a way!

A lot of men don't wear them because of their profession also. Mechanics tend to not wear them, it can cause major injury to their fingers. Coal miners, yes I am in coal country people, tend not to wear their as well, for the same reason. Hey I have known all kinds of women who would cheat on their husbands. They would just slide a fashion ring on in place of their band to hide the mark it made lol.

Speaking of Sleazy... I had an ex friend actually ASK me to " use" my place for her " get together" with some guy she met online!

She wasn't married to her boyfriend but her boyfriend was a cool guy!
He deserved better than this cheap trick... and SHE was my supposed friend!
We were no longer friends, after this disgusting display with her!

I was offended that she thought so little of ME, that I would consent to that!

PeekaPoo, I totally agree with you. It is an awful way to feel like you have to be so distrusting now when you meet a guy.what a way to start things off...hi, I'm Kathy, are you married..are you sure..positive...swear to God..oh ya it was nice to meet you too

My point exactly. I mean, am I supposed to request a semen, blood, hair, and urine sample up front? It's crazy. LOL. I should just make a big questionare for them to answer on the first date lol.

That's okay. Maybe people will figure why this idiot is my EX husband. He became a real abusive alcoholic, and then tried to say my best friend was a home wrecker because she helped me mess around with this other guy for 8 years. WRONG!!!! Unfortunately, I was the fool and stayed in the house and put up with his crap for all 8 years, and then when he got arrested for a DUI, I got out while the gettin was good. Everything is legal now. I'm divorced and have been since July. Yes, I live alone but I have my dog with me.