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| Topic: Take A Hint | |
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Oh really? But you seem to have moved from a "most people" statement to a "nobody does this statement". It's false anyway. Plenty of people date outside of their race, or generation, or are attracted to people that other people think that they shouldn't be dating. Who are these hypocrites? I don't have a problem with guys dating girls young enough to be their daughters and I've even done it to prove it. Tawt, the issue isn't people who do it. The issue is people who don't accept that some people aren't into it for themselves. You can personally do whatever makes you happy, as is your right. Just because you and some of the people you've known don't mind it, doesn't mean that others should be made to feel like it's not OK to say it's not want they want. It's not ageist to declare a preference for someone nearer to their age. |
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I'm going with the line that if the young lady has specifically stated her preferences on who she wants to talk to or be involved in, then men should respect that and move on if they don't 'fit'. You're only wasting your time if it's clear your messages aren't wanted. Though I'm going with the other comments that she's best altering her settings to prevent them from contacting her, if she doesn't want them to. That said, yes, you do have a right to message who you want but you can't expect a person to look on you favourably when you've ignored their preferences. I don't give a flying **** how young or old people are, what race, blah blah blah. That's not the point. The point is, it's not what she wants and it sounds like the thought of someone old enough to be her dad approaching her (most likely with sex on the brain) creeps her out. As it would me, if that's their intention. I don't mind an older guy, but old enough to be my dad is pushing the boat for me. Each to their own though. Thank you. It's totally about respecting the other person's wishes. |
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How is it rude if she doesn't want to talk to anyone over 21? She has a right to not want to talk to whoever she wants. I have mail filters on my page, too, and screw anyone who doesn't like it. And as for what you expect from a dating site, so should 18 year old men expect for me to be hitting on them? I'm 40 years old, I have no interest in talking to an 18 year old. He has a right to expect to be left alone by people old enough to be his mother and so does this young woman. I guess it's weird to expect some people to stay in their own damned lane. 
Sorry, didn't realise that you were making the rules about who people should be talking to on dating sites. It's really not about rights and your argument is absurd. Like saying that white people should only date white people. I've got the "right" to message any damned woman that I want on here. What I don't have a right to is a reply. And yes, I think that it's rude. Would you think that it was alright if I put "no blacks", or "no fat chicks", or "nobody over thirty" on my profile? What's the difference if I'm just saying what I do and do not want, putting aside the fact that you seem to have appointed yourself as spokesperson for the moral majority? Personally I think it's kinder to say those things on your profile, to weed out people you don't want, and to save on hurt feelings later, and prevent people from wasting their time. You don't have to be a dick about it, but you can be honest. If I was the sort who went around emailing random men, I'd appreciate them putting certain restrictions on their profile, so I don't make the mistake of bothering them. But since I let men email me, I'm courteous enough to them and myself, to limit who can contact me. Yesterday I rejected several friend requests from men I have no interest in knowing, which shouldn't have been necessary, if they had read my profile, they would have known that requesting me was a waste of their time. I don't have a problem with people only dating certain races or certain ages, it's not my business. And I'm not the authority of anything, I wish I was, a lot of changes would be made. 
I don't know why people are so bothered by rejection, not everyone is going to like you. It's not bad if you don't date certain races or certain ages, or certain body types. I guess I just don't get this new society where we do things, we just don't talk about them. Most people do have a "type" of person they're interested in, but it's become a "thing" to cite the mantra, "We're all the same, looks, age, race, etc, doesn't matter, it's about people. It's what's on the inside that counts." I think that's ********. Look around in the world, no one is living that ****, but if you talk about it, you're racist, or ageist, or anti-fat or you hate certain groups of people. I have much more respect for a guy who openly admits what he's not into, instead of the bleeding heart liberal who spouts the en vogue platitudes of the day then goes off and lives like a damned hypocrite, content that he's not racist or homophobic or ageist or whatever, simply because of his conversation. I think those people are pathetic. JMO Oh really? But you seem to have moved from a "most people" statement to a "nobody does this statement". It's false anyway. Plenty of people date outside of their race, or generation, or are attracted to people that other people think that they shouldn't be dating. Who are these hypocrites? I don't have a problem with guys dating girls young enough to be their daughters and I've even done it to prove it. You're missing the point. I didn't say nobody did it, I say it's not done on a massive scale. And I shouldn't have to debate that fact with you. If everyone dated and/or married outside their race, the term "interracial" wouldn't even be a thing because it'd be the norm...we give terms to things that are unusual. I don't have a problem with older men/younger women or younger men/older women either, but I do have a problem with someone who is so intent on having their way that they ignore someone else's wishes. If I have a certain age restriction on my profile, I expect people to respect it. Otherwise, you're saying what you want is more important than what I want, and that's crap. I've actually had guys change their ages just so they can email me, I think that's disrespectful and more than a little creepy. Also, there are other people who will be more receptive, so why not go after them instead of focusing on the one who isn't interested? |
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Also, there are other people who will be more receptive, so why not go after them instead of focusing on the one who isn't interested? I believe that's something to do with psychology - many men want what they have to work for. A 'thrill of the chase' scenario. If they get the woman who didn't want them, it somehow validates them and their self-belief. But yes, you're right, it mostly is just crap. |
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Also, there are other people who will be more receptive, so why not go after them instead of focusing on the one who isn't interested? I believe that's something to do with psychology - many men want what they have to work for. A 'thrill of the chase' scenario. If they get the woman who didn't want them, it somehow validates them and their self-belief. But yes, you're right, it mostly is just crap. I think so, too. It's like there's a room full of interested women and one who hates the air they breathe and that's the one they want. Like a trophy. Ugh, oh well...
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Oh really? But you seem to have moved from a "most people" statement to a "nobody does this statement". It's false anyway. Plenty of people date outside of their race, or generation, or are attracted to people that other people think that they shouldn't be dating. Who are these hypocrites? I don't have a problem with guys dating girls young enough to be their daughters and I've even done it to prove it. Tawt, the issue isn't people who do it. The issue is people who don't accept that some people aren't into it for themselves. You can personally do whatever makes you happy, as is your right. Just because you and some of the people you've known don't mind it, doesn't mean that others should be made to feel like it's not OK to say it's not want they want. It's not ageist to declare a preference for someone nearer to their age. I'm not disputing that but I do think that it's rude to call guys that talk to younger women pervs or peados, which is what this amounts to. Just saying that I'm no more of a perv dating a girl half my age than I am dating someone in their forties. Someone saying on a public forum that they would feel like a peado if they did it really isn't any better. Kind of like me saying that I don't want catholics messaging me on dating sites and starting a thread about it. It's just unnecessary and if I put that on my profile even the women that weren't catholics probably wouldn't be too impressed and would think that it was prejudice, rather than preference. |
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Edited by
Lost_in_reverie
on
Tue 12/03/13 03:54 PM
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I'm not disputing that but I do think that it's rude to call guys that talk to younger women pervs or peados, which is what this amounts to. Just saying that I'm no more of a perv dating a girl half my age than I am dating someone in their forties. Someone saying on a public forum that they would feel like a peado if they did it really isn't any better. Kind of like me saying that I don't want catholics messaging me on dating sites and starting a thread about it. It's just unnecessary and if I put that on my profile even the women that weren't catholics probably wouldn't be too impressed and would think that it was prejudice, rather than preference. I find the whole religion thing completely crackers anyway. There are so many threads started by people that basically attempt to tell the rest of us 'sinners' that we need to change our ways but yes, you're right, the minute we bite back it's as if we're intolerant. The same goes here, people should feel free and able to express their views. If a person feels uncomfortable by someone's advances, they are well within their rights to open a discussion about it. Sometimes people just want to know they're not alone. If you want to open a thread talking about how it annoys you that Catholics approach you, by all means do that. I don't recall you stating you'd prefer them not to on your profile though... |
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"Oh no, men are interested in me". How terrible. My heart bleeds for you. Yeah it's gotta be a tough life. |
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I'm not disputing that but I do think that it's rude to call guys that talk to younger women pervs or peados, which is what this amounts to. Just saying that I'm no more of a perv dating a girl half my age than I am dating someone in their forties. Someone saying on a public forum that they would feel like a peado if they did it really isn't any better. Kind of like me saying that I don't want catholics messaging me on dating sites and starting a thread about it. It's just unnecessary and if I put that on my profile even the women that weren't catholics probably wouldn't be too impressed and would think that it was prejudice, rather than preference. I find the whole religion thing completely crackers anyway. There are so many threads started by people that basically attempt to tell the rest of us 'sinners' that we need to change our ways but yes, you're right, the minute we bite back it's as if we're intolerant. The same goes here, people should feel free and able to express their views. If a person feels uncomfortable by someone's advances, they are well within their rights to open a discussion about it. Sometimes people just want to know they're not alone. If you want to open a thread talking about how it annoys you that Catholics approach you, by all means do that. I don't recall you stating you'd prefer them not to on your profile though... It was just an example of something that I might say. Historically, there's been a lot of trouble between catholics and protestants in Scotland. It's not so bad here on the east coast though. If you check out profiles on here that are Glaswegians a lot of them seem to feel the need to say whether they are catholic or protestant. They usually aren't religious at all though and it's just what they've been brought up with. I don't need to put anything on my profile about what sort of woman I am and am not looking for. I hardly get any spam on here. I reply to almost anybody and if they go on about religion on their profiles I just tell them that I'm not religious and am not really interested in talking about that. |
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I hardly get any spam on here. You're one of the lucky ones then. |
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