this is fine, you are doing good, all you ave to do is to see the humourous side of everything, it's hard atimes but i believe in you.

True,everyone's gotta start somewhere thanks

Take a second to wake up in the morning feed the dog or forget... Definitely don't forget my breakfast, I can't cook but I can for sure make a piece of toast and a bowl of cereal like a pro and when I drive to work like a speech PhD with a masters degree smile and wave = good, the guy who cut me off earlier gets the finger and the pretty girl walking down the street gets not one but two honks and a wink. And at work I can't wait to go home for the weekend and a little of that tgif

I bet everyone here done work at least once like it? Don't like it? Either way we all hate it sitting there at a desk hello this is Donald speaking how may I help you?
Sitting there talking to a mixture of either old people or young people with a lot of free time,and you can't get mad do not get mad even if I wanna go up to this smart mouth take my belt off and shove both my size 12 steel toed boots... Never mind that praise the Lord amen to lunch and other break times... And 7/11(gasoline station) lovin them slusies every day

Winning is awesome, especially when you're winning. Whether it's football, golf, track, video games, cards tic tac toe. I'll brag in all of those even if it's just bingo be like, YEAH WHO'S YO DADDY BOOM CHICKEN DINNER FOR THE WINNER ME READ IT AND WEEP 5 FIIIIVE IN A ROW... boom... Now where's my sunglasses

If I had a dollar for every time made my mom made, ignored one of my sisters, or acted conceited I'd have a lot of money. Except i don't think numbers go that high, almost as bad as the time I woke up 5am to shave for an interview. I woke up for the� Interview and when I shaved i scratched up my face and cut part of the hair off my head yet I was so tired I didn't notice

I think I can stand for everyone when I say there's been that day where your thinking... It's going to be long day. And usually it is, like sitting outside waiting for the transit, your sitting there peacefully and along comes some nut job look in like what the cat dragged in front of a freight train. And dude starts talking inside I'm like okay this guy if he was as dumb or dangerous as he looked dumb he was either dumb or some kinda freaky cereal killer probably fighting a war (with gingivitis) and losing. But that's beside the point, he starts blabbering on about Obama the great Obama the perfect. And the next thing he says is rat poison is good for a cold, and he did it. Talking about he wanted to tell Obama this news to use rat poison for a cold. Well if you could imagine being in this situation guy starts singing at one point I thought this guys blood alcohol level is at least twice his GPA but sit there quite and nod. You never know, end up getting one of those crazy people you hear on the news crazy person attacks weird looking fat guy. Time bus got there i couldn't wait to hop on slap that city bus pass out and feel like yelling. Almost sound like church in there except there screaming finally and not amen or hallelujah, and you actually know when you get home

TV i can watch it all day long, especially if it's an Adam Sandler movie... Hehehe... Happy Gilmore is a golfer but he wants to be a hockey player. Sitting there watching TV action movie see some ninja going olalala.!... And kill someone and comedy a red neck ninja jumping in going YIPPEE KIYAY MOTHA # #### or a romantic comedy a red neck ninja jumping in going YIPPEE KIYAY MOTHA #### and taking the bad guys girl for a pleasant evening with some sandwiches and watching TV, maybe watch some Ace Ventura

What do you call a bodybuilder with LARGE BALLS?






........A beginner!

3 unofficial rules in the gym

Always make sure you have a partner when lifting weights (its safer and you don't look like an idiot when you try lift past your limit)

Face your back against the wall when you dress or change (its exactly how you sounds)

Don't be the guy who says confusing things (keep simple)

Lmao!!!!

I remember a time when math was boring, the English teacher was quite and all the coaches slowly getting fatter... Feels like just yesterday I was drinking my soda, and my dog pushed me out of the bed... I threatening to kick that dog to the curb... Or call happy pets (pet shelter). A long day today sitting here... And I did not finish reading a book. I can't pay attention, but I sure can't focus. Or was it listen, I hear my sister for three hours. And think If I keep hanging around her I'm going to be like my old manager at the construction... So weird sitting there in his cat probably plays majong, reads life magazine and enjoys paper work... Or worse watches the forbidden shows. Two and a half... Or grace anat... It's a good thing there's football and church, the calm kind when I stayed in Louisiana LAWD THEM PEOPLE WAS LOUD. Walk in and lady beside us was like HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD. Then guy in front of of us looking like a someone who just won the lottery after going to one of those churches... It was 130 pm surprisingly wasn't hungry. Lucky back in Texas its calmer now just dealing with them rednecks (actually i stay in Houston) but now I have to listen to my sister again. Once I think about it gonna go ask to go back to church, less drama

A man and his wife went to.jersulem for a holiday and the wife died. So the funeral people said u can either spend �5000 to ship her home or �50 to bury her here. The man said ill.spend �5000 thanks. A man called jesus was buried here and he came bk to.life. I cant take the chance!!!!!!!

OMG funny!!!

Who in here likes to party from your mother to your brother to the girls down the street all the way to the old cranky lady and her grandchildren who don't visit no more everybody likes to party, yeah you know what I'm talking about having those nice beverages from soda to tea and all those other drinks you had and don't want to Mention and the snacks all day long and some of those people get weird I mean just plain do that in a closet with the lights off and a blanket over your head. They be mixing this that some of those and this stuff sprinkled on top. Putting everything out of there fridge and into a bowl... Let's see i found some tooth paste, piece of chicken, half eaten toast soggy Ritz bits, a neon crayon, some bacon bits, fiber, pain killers, nylon string and a frozen TV dinner... Bon appetite, now where's the microwave. O wait that is an awful party!!!!...? Do you actually remember how your party went too or was it one of those awkward situations... Yeah. Side of the road... I mean in bed! Ready for a good day

Night time again everyone's going inside to sleep getting some sleep cause we all know tomorrow isn't going to be nothing special. Sitting at the counter waiting for bedtime and drinking that fine glass of water, cause it's good to be sober. Feels great to wake up early and not feel like death warmed over. Go outside honk my horn at all of the neighbors, that's the friendly way. Go to school and maybe sit there a few minutes thinking about something and procrastinate. It's okay as long as the work is done in time. Something to say to all the complaining people I outa take my shoe off and teach them a lesson their mommas didn't. My day is awful! I hate waking up early! Oya? Cool story friend step a little closer now turn around and say steel toed boots... My favorite part about class do even 1 thing slightly correct and be like MVP MVP who's your daddy now BAM like a boss ill be running this place like a church school rulers as far as the eye can see, a teacher with super Boney fingers and an attitude problem to match, also two fire breathing unicorn/bears. While slowly putting on my sunglasses somebody say wooooooooooosh preferably in slow motion so I can look like the saint of the bunch and not some jerk with sunglasses

Sorry, I don't know who told you, but you ain't funny pal. This page is meant to be for jokes not the pish you come out with! Every1 else has come out with a joke, myself included on these pages. Still waiting on a decent 1 from you though?

It's all fun and games until you notice the *rocket* in your nephew's Lego launch pad came from the drawer of your nightstand.