I don't think a ring is irrelevant. It is an outward sign of an inward virtue. I do not believe a woman should ask or expect a man to pay more than he can really afford on a ring. That is in poor taste as well as inconsiderate.

A ring can show good taste if not too ostentatious. Marriage is not the time for ostentatious in my opinion. So the ring should not be the attention getter, the couple should be. The "culture" of making a big deal out of the ring and worrying that someone else's is bigger or better escapes me however.

The gold ring represents a committed relationship to me.

Sounds like pops is a smart man! That's awesome they're still together after forty years. My parents would still be if my Dad hadn't passed away. That's how it should be...lifelong love. Cheers to them and that!

And just to clarify Sweetest...I said "...I just see the amount spent for the ring as irrelevant...". Completely agree with everything you said...especially "the ring should not be the attention getter, the couple should be."