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| Topic: It was all my fault when............ | |
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Not sure I can take account for the way one of my ex's emotionally abused me, as I have no idea what causes it. There was one time, however, where I didn't believe another ex. I only thought he was trying to apologize to get back into my good books, so I didn't fully believe he was sorry. I never usually say "Whatever!", but that's all I replied with, when I texted him back. He then sent me a text about two pages long. Calling me every swear word that exists. I was just worried he was trying to look good. As for that mean text he sent me, that was enough to put me off him for good. I think you are raising a very important point here. there are times when people are victimized and we may not have done anything wrong. Forcing a victim to accept blame is beyond wrong. that is just whack we cannot blame the victim. in that situation, where there is actual victimization, no one asks to be abused. that was not in anyway your fault. we should never never never ask a victim to accept blame. it is a little off topic, tead, I know, but in light of some of the comments raised I feel it is am important point to add to the generla discussion :) hope that's OK, girlfriend :) |
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Not sure I can take account for the way one of my ex's emotionally abused me, as I have no idea what causes it. There was one time, however, where I didn't believe another ex. I only thought he was trying to apologize to get back into my good books, so I didn't fully believe he was sorry. I never usually say "Whatever!", but that's all I replied with, when I texted him back. He then sent me a text about two pages long. Calling me every swear word that exists. I was just worried he was trying to look good. As for that mean text he sent me, that was enough to put me off him for good. True colors come out in those moments. If I see volcano steam I'm usually out of there. Life has always moved too fast for me to stop and deal with anger management of others. If they don't have their act together without me how are they going to pull it together with me (my personality type that is). Some are built for drama correction and others built for a peaceful habitation. |
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Humm only fault I had in the past was not ending them sooner...Myself I don't dwell in the past I learn to deal with them and move on. And leave the blaming to no one... we all have issues. But if one can not move on and learn from them then they will always be looking for someone to blame......
When in reality it was a stepping stone to the one that will enhance your life....... One should never regret relationships from the past learn from them and move on.... |
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Not sure I can take account for the way one of my ex's emotionally abused me, as I have no idea what causes it. There was one time, however, where I didn't believe another ex. I only thought he was trying to apologize to get back into my good books, so I didn't fully believe he was sorry. I never usually say "Whatever!", but that's all I replied with, when I texted him back. He then sent me a text about two pages long. Calling me every swear word that exists. I was just worried he was trying to look good. As for that mean text he sent me, that was enough to put me off him for good. True colors come out in those moments. If I see volcano steam I'm usually out of there. Life has always moved too fast for me to stop and deal with anger management of others. If they don't have their act together without me how are they going to pull it together with me (my personality type that is). Some are built for drama correction and others built for a peaceful habitation. great insight and I agree not much for the drama myself - I'll skate ASAP 
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No one said EVERYTHING was your fault. It was just admitting YOUR NEGATIVE CONTRIBUTION to something. The title was meant to make an impact. So many of these titles like "Where are the good men/women"? get a reaction. I wanted people to own up to their part. (when I say your I am not speaking to one particular person) You will notice I purposely did not mention what my ex did which is why we divorced not because of what I did. That would defeat the purpose of the thread. true |
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Not sure I can take account for the way one of my ex's emotionally abused me, as I have no idea what causes it. There was one time, however, where I didn't believe another ex. I only thought he was trying to apologize to get back into my good books, so I didn't fully believe he was sorry. I never usually say "Whatever!", but that's all I replied with, when I texted him back. He then sent me a text about two pages long. Calling me every swear word that exists. I was just worried he was trying to look good. As for that mean text he sent me, that was enough to put me off him for good. I think you are raising a very important point here. there are times when people are victimized and we may not have done anything wrong. Forcing a victim to accept blame is beyond wrong. that is just whack we cannot blame the victim. in that situation, where there is actual victimization, no one asks to be abused. that was not in anyway your fault. we should never never never ask a victim to accept blame. it is a little off topic, tead, I know, but in light of some of the comments raised I feel it is am important point to add to the generla discussion :) hope that's OK, girlfriend :) Hope I'm not taking over the thread. Just wanted to reply back to you. I hardly let him get to me these days. I couldn't let him know when I was leaving him for good, otherwise he might have tried to block my escape, if you understand. So on the morning I finally left, I wrote him a long letter explaining why. I also told him not to turn up at my house anymore, because really enough is enough. I knew my family and friends had my back, so all was okay in the end :) |
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Not sure I can take account for the way one of my ex's emotionally abused me, as I have no idea what causes it. There was one time, however, where I didn't believe another ex. I only thought he was trying to apologize to get back into my good books, so I didn't fully believe he was sorry. I never usually say "Whatever!", but that's all I replied with, when I texted him back. He then sent me a text about two pages long. Calling me every swear word that exists. I was just worried he was trying to look good. As for that mean text he sent me, that was enough to put me off him for good. True colors come out in those moments. If I see volcano steam I'm usually out of there. Life has always moved too fast for me to stop and deal with anger management of others. If they don't have their act together without me how are they going to pull it together with me (my personality type that is). Some are built for drama correction and others built for a peaceful habitation. Yeah. I just wanted peace, and I was never gonna get it by remaining around him. I knew what I had to do. Just glad he didn't live somewhere secluded....................for obvious reasons. I hardly think about him anyway these days. He isn't worth crumbs. 
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Sometimes one partner is the reason for a failed "relationship". It takes both parties to work together to move it forward. Even some Counselors will tell you that one person is usually more at fault than the other for a marriage failing. I am talking about a real "committed" relationship not people that just DATE. My spouse had an ongoing affair after several years of marriage and I learned that sometimes many men are just selfish in that area.
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agree....there are times when nothing really is our fault, or nobody is at fault. why accept blame or fault if you really have done nothing wrong? it's wrong to try to force people into accepting responsibility for mistakes they did not make.
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Edited by
1Cynderella
on
Sun 06/23/13 07:52 PM
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I was going to answer but the OP does not think my relationships were significant.
 JK. 
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Ok you guys cant handle the truth!
Do you want her side, my side or the truth? 
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