A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He
spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On
his way home he stops at a news stand and buys a paper.
Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you
don't mind me asking this, how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonald's for lunch, and asks the
order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh
you look about 29".

"I am actually 47". This makes him feel really good.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same
question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is
going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling
a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with
your balls for ten minutes, I will be able to tell your
exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell
and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later
the old lady says, "Ok, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! how did you do
that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonalds."

oh jesh...

Lol too funny

LMAO.