well you have a good point. if there is someone else besides his partner he is "chcecking in" with for protracted periods that is a problem.

you are the one he should be having the all night long talks with

and you have had how many marriages, live in partners, long term relationships greater than 1 year to be this firm in your statement?

or perhaps ypu witnessed things with your parents?


having feelings for others is not cheating unless they are romantic feelings and you are in a committed relationship. To act on them or allow them to cause you to mentally "check out" is cheating and is wrong. the mentally "check out" is the emotional cheating per your first question.

Anyone who truly loves their partner is going to be concerned about their spouse spending an inordinate amount of time with others - especially of the opposite gender. That is not insecure or controlling. If my partner did not care about my roving habits I would believe that he did not care enough about our relationship to stay with him. so I wouldn't.

If my partner was spending all of his time with others I would prefer to end things and(we both) find someone who preferred to spend his time with me (which is, in essence, why my marriage ended)

One does not necessarily have to have personal experience to contain knowledge on any subject.
It's a thing called logic and reason. Get some.
If you honestly think that there's such a thing as emotional cheating.
Read this well.
There's not.
You either cheat with someone or you don't. There's a fine line.
Unless you have evidence of your partner cheating such as flirting with others or hanging out with others behind your back, then yes,
you are insecure and controlling.
You want the attention to be on you 100% of the time for the rest of your life which is unrealistic in society.
Now have a nice day.

Can I ask you a question, please? I am just trying to help you understand the term.

Do you know and understand what emtional abuse is?

It is when one person belittles and down-plays the importance of their "partner" (in quotes because you can't be a partner with someone who feels you are inferior). It is also called bullying. Just because one does not strike the other does not mean it is any less of abuse. It is damage that goes far deeper than a bruise.

Emotional cheating is when a partner stops treating you as an equal and turns to outside stimulation, shutting you off from their life, but doesn't have the guts to walk away. They feel since it hasn't yet become physical, it isn't cheating. Yet you are 'cheating' your partner out of sharing in the joy and closeness that helps keep a relationship together.

When you are in a relationship, your partner is the FIRST person he wants to share news with and should be the ONLY person that you turn to for physical comfort. Not the "hottie" from down the hall or a "friend" you knew from years back.

What you've just described there was someone who's lost interest in their partner and would either have walked away or stayed and perhaps cheated.
There is no emotional cheating.
There is only cheating. You can either cheat or not. Cheating while you're with a partner that you've lost or are losing interest in is cheating.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Emotion is just a way that you feel.
Which can range from any number of things.
Especially when in a relationship.
However.
Emotion cannot be cheated or cheated on.
Therefore emotional cheating does not exist.

I understand that you are looking at in a black and white, right or wrong situation but when dealing with someone's state of mind there are shades of grey. It is a non-physical form of cheating that destroys the emtional well-being of the other person. Hence the name "emtional cheating". It is playing with the other persons emtions, staying "in" the relationship but spending all the time talking/texting with an outsider instead of being an adult about it and leaving.

I'm sorry you may not understand it yet and I hope it never happens to you. It sucks when it does.

That's called cheating.
Mind games are a part of it.
I understand exactly.
I'm not some kid that knows nothing about nothing.
There are different methods of cheating but it is all called cheating.
Not emotional cheating.
Cheating.

HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR??? I GOOGLED IT FOR YOU AND HERE IS WHAT IT SAID:
An emotional affair can be defined as follows'

"A relationship between a person and someone other than (their) spouse (or lover) that has an impact on the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage. The role of an affair is to create emotional distance in the marriage."

An emotional affair is made up.
Emotional cheating does not exist.
Cheating is cheating.

I am in agreement with you

but in the end, that is how we feel about it, others feel differently and its up to them to make their potential partner aware of the expectation of 'emotional fidelity' ..which I suppose is the opposite of emotional cheating,,,

I'm sorry your relationship is not what it could be.

You may have already done so, but I would certainly have a serious talk about the fact that his actions are hurting you and causing distrust in the relationship. Trust is vital to a relationship. Too many marriages are not even relationships anymore. If it really was a game to him, there may be an emotional reason for his games. Most games are played to draw attention to something.

It could be that he is also hurting in some respect that triggered all this. I think the dumbest reactions are often born of painful feelings. Just throwing out a thought for what it's worth.