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| Topic: Monogamy or Polygamy...? | |
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Thank you Sing and friends become dates become lovers It is a part of courtship If you don't let someone know you are interested in monogamy with them then how is one to know right ? Or if they express such feelings and are rejected Should they still hold those feelings for you ? 
I do not want to make this about "ME" Just wondered what everyone thinks in general... And i am very secure in who I am Thanks folks ! You didn't explain what a monogamous friendship is, though. You're talking about before you are dating someone, so how do you expect them to be monogamous already? Oh sorry Sing i missed this... what i mean is if and when you get to that in a friendship Because i think the best relationships come from being friends first
I get that you want to start out as friends. What I still don't understand is what monogamous friendship means. Do you mean you want to be her only friend? Her only male friend? |
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Hmmm yes in the sense of no longer seeking new dates
lol 
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Hmmm yes in the sense of no longer seeking new dates lol
Wait. You said you were talking about friendship that comes before dating. If you're dating, you're more than friends and that makes a bit more sense. Your use of the words friends and friendship are what's throwing me off. What you're really talking about is dating? |
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Edited by
KiK2me
on
Mon 05/27/13 06:51 PM
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Take it however you like Sing
lol It was just a question... 
{snicker} |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Mon 05/27/13 06:57 PM
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Take it however you like Sing lol It was just a question...
{snicker} It just wasn't clear. It sounds like you want to keep it casual enough to call a friendship, but mean you're in a monogamous relationship. If a guy called what we he and I had a friendship, but treated it like a relationship, I'd first expect him to get over the fear of calling it a relationship. Once that happened, the monogamy conversation could happen. If I am friends with someone, being monogamous makes no sense. |
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Edited by
KiK2me
on
Mon 05/27/13 07:05 PM
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I love having friends out side a relationship But i still consider my counterpart to be my closest friend... Thank you ! 
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Take it however you like Sing lol It was just a question...
{snicker} well I can say that monogamy has to be discussed and agreed upon before an expectation that dating others stops. usually I stop dating others anyway once I am seeing someone regularly. I usually lose the desire to see others (or I would not be continuing to see the first guy regularly) but I do not assume monogamy and if I feel he is not that serious about me I will see others. so if he wants monogamy it needs to be agreed upon. I will seldom bring up the topic, but if I find out the guy I've been seeing regularly for awhile is seeing others, I will stop seeing him. After a certain amount of time I want to be the "one" or not at all. so monogamy cannot be assumed and if we are not on the same page about the topic I will usually stop seeing the guy |
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Obviously
thanks Sweet !
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Edited by
Rawrr_Girl
on
Tue 05/28/13 07:02 AM
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All is fair in love and war, so to speak. If a guy I'm dating, is also dating others while dating me, then why shouldn't I also do the same? I'm obviously not going to believe he is that into me, if he's dating others at the same time. If he wants to keep experimenting with new flavours, then he is free to go ahead and try, but I ain't gonna wait for him, while he gets his rocks off.
 If he should run back to me one day, full of regret and remorse, well maybe it'll be too late, and I'll have found a guy who wants to commit.
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I love having friends out side a relationship But i still consider my counterpart to be my closest friend... Thank you !
Then it's not a monogamous friendship if you have more than one friend. 
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I make "friends" and have met many Men Online Inperson, however, I do not do FWB. I perfer a monogamous relationship, when I meet the Right man for Long Term! Trust online is difficult. IMO
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Tue 05/28/13 03:37 PM
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so monogamy cannot be assumed and if we are not on the same page about the topic I will usually stop seeing the guy I Agree with this^^^^ Men I have met inperson are dating other women online. I have had great dates but I do not do FWB, because dating is not really a LTR, Most times not monogamous. |
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I love having friends out side a relationship But i still consider my counterpart to be my closest friend... Thank you !
Then it's not a monogamous friendship if you have more than one friend.
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Thank you Sing and friends become dates become lovers It is a part of courtship If you don't let someone know you are interested in monogamy with them then how is one to know right ? Or if they express such feelings and are rejected Should they still hold those feelings for you ?
I do not want to make this about "ME" Just wondered what everyone thinks in general... And i am very secure in who I am Thanks folks ! You didn't explain what a monogamous friendship is, though. You're talking about before you are dating someone, so how do you expect them to be monogamous already? Oh sorry Sing i missed this... what i mean is if and when you get to that in a friendship Because i think the best relationships come from being friends first
AGREE! |
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I love having friends out side a relationship But i still consider my counterpart to be my closest friend... Thank you !
Then it's not a monogamous friendship if you have more than one friend.
If you disagree, please do explain! |
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Although the definition is more applied to "Marriage" I believe that it also applies to relations and courtship So which do you prefer ? And do you let that person KNOW when you are being "Friends" ? I prefer a monogamous typs of friendship Where we are BOTH secure in our feelings toward one another to also have "Just friends " as well... I do like a few of the ladies in here But because of "misunderstandings" I am reluctant to say specifically WHO I like my feelings to be reciprocated feelings But maybe this is what is lacking with YOU and your desire as well ? So tell us ? Monogamy or Polygamy in relationships ? 
KiK I'm strictly a one-woman man. And I expect the same. |
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Pologamy went mainstream during factional wars. Men would go to war, not many would come home. Men took on many partners to continue the population. the ratio of men to women was often 1:2 or 1:3.
These days the ratio is close to 1:1. The problem is that instinct can sometimes be had to overule. This is why some men see no problem with keeping multiple relationships. In this day and age, this practice is mainly frowned apon. Not only by women, but now by most modern men. Personally, I'm a one woman guy, although lately I'm a no woman guy. Not by choice. I think respect and honesty leads to a better relationship. But I also believe that if a guy strays, the relationship is not fullfilling for both partners. I'm not saying it is anyones fault, just maybe they are not totally compatable and are not getting the love and lust they want. So maybe if a guy or woman stray, it's time to end it and move on, to someone who is looking for the same intensity of love and lust. |
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Although the definition is more applied to "Marriage" I believe that it also applies to relations and courtship So which do you prefer ? And do you let that person KNOW when you are being "Friends" ? I prefer a monogamous typs of friendship Where we are BOTH secure in our feelings toward one another to also have "Just friends " as well... I do like a few of the ladies in here But because of "misunderstandings" I am reluctant to say specifically WHO I like my feelings to be reciprocated feelings But maybe this is what is lacking with YOU and your desire as well ? So tell us ? Monogamy or Polygamy in relationships ?
KiK What are monogamous friendships? If you're just friends, why worry about whether they have other friends. Sounds like you're actually talking about dating instead? If I'm friends with someone, that's completely different than dating. Anyway, in the beginning I think it's fine to date more than one person as long as everyone is honest. But that's just the beginning. Once you start dating more seriously, definitely monogamy. my sentiments xactly!! |
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Although the definition is more applied to "Marriage" I believe that it also applies to relations and courtship So which do you prefer ? And do you let that person KNOW when you are being "Friends" ? I prefer a monogamous typs of friendship Where we are BOTH secure in our feelings toward one another to also have "Just friends " as well... I do like a few of the ladies in here But because of "misunderstandings" I am reluctant to say specifically WHO I like my feelings to be reciprocated feelings But maybe this is what is lacking with YOU and your desire as well ? So tell us ? Monogamy or Polygamy in relationships ?
KiK What are monogamous friendships? If you're just friends, why worry about whether they have other friends. Sounds like you're actually talking about dating instead? If I'm friends with someone, that's completely different than dating. Anyway, in the beginning I think it's fine to date more than one person as long as everyone is honest. But that's just the beginning. Once you start dating more seriously, definitely monogamy. my sentiments xactly!! yep |
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I'm a monogamous type. If I'm interested enough to date them, there will be no other.
If a man wants to date others while seeing me, he can't be all that interested in me. |
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