Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Do Hide Your Past Relationships?
msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 05/18/13 07:56 PM
I do not talk about past relationships on a first date. My first dates are fun and enjoying One another, we don't have time to discuss past partners. I do not hide past relationships. If we continue on to a third date then is when we get into more personal things. I agree. There is a time and place to open up and a first date is not the time nor place to just let it all out,,,,,lol So when does the time come for one to start getting serious, i'm getting rusty! I'll admit it! ..but really what I'm getting at is how long after that does the Head splits open and the lizard come out?? I no its after fornication some time, at a guess I'd say anywhere from 3 seconds to 3 months depending on ths woman. each person varies but its NOT the first date on a first date , I imagine people want to find out about commmon interests, for future dates talk about current events, or things that are not about depression, or anger, or negative experiences and thoughts I think as two people get to become friends, get to know enough about common interests and values to feel like the 'dating' has potential to become more,,,,,then we can gradually ask more intimate questions and give more intimate and personal information,,,,

Someone2callmyown Joined Thu 05/09/13 Posts: 870	Sat 05/18/13 08:11 PM
I don't "hide" them. I prefer not to think about them. It's not a big deal. I may have been a jerk in a relationship or two in the distant past and in others it was pleasant and ended well. I have an ex that have wanted to rekindle our relationship recently, and so I am apparently not that bad of a person to have a relationship with. I know that I can have a good relationship with someone now and in the future as long as they are accepting of me and I am accepting of them. It's important to find someone that is compatible in our expectations of each other. I think that is the key.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 05/18/13 08:31 PM
I don't "hide" them. I prefer not to think about them. It's not a big deal. I may have been a jerk in a relationship or two in the distant past and in others it was pleasant and ended well. I have an ex that have wanted to rekindle our relationship recently, and so I am apparently not that bad of a person to have a relationship with. I know that I can have a good relationship with someone now and in the future as long as they are accepting of me and I am accepting of them. It's important to find someone that is compatible in our expectations of each other. I think that is the key. I agree usually neither party was a bad person in failed romance; rather simply there were compatability issues sometimes we all act like jerks being that no one is perfect.... it's how we learn and grow from our mistakes..I think people who have been in a failed relationship or two can be excellent partners when we have learned from that even if u were a jerk a time or two, you have learned and are wiser now. I doubt anyone really wants to be a jerk.

Someone2callmyown Joined Thu 05/09/13 Posts: 870	Sat 05/18/13 08:53 PM
I don't "hide" them. I prefer not to think about them. It's not a big deal. I may have been a jerk in a relationship or two in the distant past and in others it was pleasant and ended well. I have an ex that have wanted to rekindle our relationship recently, and so I am apparently not that bad of a person to have a relationship with. I know that I can have a good relationship with someone now and in the future as long as they are accepting of me and I am accepting of them. It's important to find someone that is compatible in our expectations of each other. I think that is the key. I agree usually neither party was a bad person in failed romance; rather simply there were compatability issues sometimes we all act like jerks being that no one is perfect.... it's how we learn and grow from our mistakes..I think people who have been in a failed relationship or two can be excellent partners when we have learned from that even if u were a jerk a time or two, you have learned and are wiser now. I doubt anyone really wants to be a jerk. There was one relationship in particular that I always felt bad about and felt like I was the one that screwed it up and wished I had acted differently. I felt that way for about 13 years. Then I happened to get back in touch with that "ex" and we became friends again and she wanted to have another relationship and from the way she described the past, I wasn't that bad at all. It sort of blew my mind. I had beaten myself up (psychologically) about that relationship for years and then to find out that she seen things totally different was sort of a life-changing experience in a sense. But as it turned out, I could see that although we could be friends, I didn't feel like we were ultimately right for each other because I could see the points of incompatibility in our expectations of each other. So I declined to take things further and did not pursue another relationship with her. But it is nice to have that "burden" lifted from me of feeling that way about the past.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 05/18/13 09:02 PM
I don't "hide" them. I prefer not to think about them. It's not a big deal. I may have been a jerk in a relationship or two in the distant past and in others it was pleasant and ended well. I have an ex that have wanted to rekindle our relationship recently, and so I am apparently not that bad of a person to have a relationship with. I know that I can have a good relationship with someone now and in the future as long as they are accepting of me and I am accepting of them. It's important to find someone that is compatible in our expectations of each other. I think that is the key. I agree usually neither party was a bad person in failed romance; rather simply there were compatability issues sometimes we all act like jerks being that no one is perfect.... it's how we learn and grow from our mistakes..I think people who have been in a failed relationship or two can be excellent partners when we have learned from that even if u were a jerk a time or two, you have learned and are wiser now. I doubt anyone really wants to be a jerk. There was one relationship in particular that I always felt bad about and felt like I was the one that screwed it up and wished I had acted differently. I felt that way for about 13 years. Then I happened to get back in touch with that "ex" and we became friends again and she wanted to have another relationship and from the way she described the past, I wasn't that bad at all. It sort of blew my mind. I had beaten myself up (psychologically) about that relationship for years and then to find out that she seen things totally different was sort of a life-changing experience in a sense. But as it turned out, I could see that although we could be friends, I didn't feel like we were ultimately right for each other because I could see the points of incompatibility in our expectations of each other. So I declined to take things further and did not pursue another relationship with her. But it is nice to have that "burden" lifted from me of feeling that way about the past. yes, communication: A wonderful thing. bless her heart for taking the time and showing the kindness to relieve your fears it is a sign of strength (IMO) to have a conscience to feel guilty when we think there is cause therefore, what a selfless gift for someone to lift that burden. as much as we may not want to get back with an ex....to allow each other to heal and to help each other to heal is a great way to show love - even if it can;t be the romantic kind. I just love your story and hope I can be that strong, kind and human given the chance

Someone2callmyown Joined Thu 05/09/13 Posts: 870	Sat 05/18/13 09:06 PM
I don't "hide" them. I prefer not to think about them. It's not a big deal. I may have been a jerk in a relationship or two in the distant past and in others it was pleasant and ended well. I have an ex that have wanted to rekindle our relationship recently, and so I am apparently not that bad of a person to have a relationship with. I know that I can have a good relationship with someone now and in the future as long as they are accepting of me and I am accepting of them. It's important to find someone that is compatible in our expectations of each other. I think that is the key. I agree usually neither party was a bad person in failed romance; rather simply there were compatability issues sometimes we all act like jerks being that no one is perfect.... it's how we learn and grow from our mistakes..I think people who have been in a failed relationship or two can be excellent partners when we have learned from that even if u were a jerk a time or two, you have learned and are wiser now. I doubt anyone really wants to be a jerk. There was one relationship in particular that I always felt bad about and felt like I was the one that screwed it up and wished I had acted differently. I felt that way for about 13 years. Then I happened to get back in touch with that "ex" and we became friends again and she wanted to have another relationship and from the way she described the past, I wasn't that bad at all. It sort of blew my mind. I had beaten myself up (psychologically) about that relationship for years and then to find out that she seen things totally different was sort of a life-changing experience in a sense. But as it turned out, I could see that although we could be friends, I didn't feel like we were ultimately right for each other because I could see the points of incompatibility in our expectations of each other. So I declined to take things further and did not pursue another relationship with her. But it is nice to have that "burden" lifted from me of feeling that way about the past. yes, communication: A wonderful thing. bless her heart for taking the time and showing the kindness to relieve your fears it is a sign of strength (IMO) to have a conscience to feel guilty when we think there is cause therefore, what a selfless gift for someone to lift that burden. as much as we may not want to get back with an ex....to allow each other to heal and to help each other to heal is a great way to show love - even if it can;t be the romantic kind. I just love your story and hope I can be that strong, kind and human given the chance Thank you.

Winlei Joined Sat 01/26/13 Posts: 4048	Sat 05/18/13 09:39 PM
It depends for me, i want to know why they broke up. It will give me a clue of his limits. I dont want to overstepped their limitation. I will also let "my date" know mine. I dont care if its good or bad, i only date a person who can understand me and accept me of being me.

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Sat 05/18/13 10:41 PM
Can someone flick the light switch please? thank you

jacktrades Joined Tue 09/11/12 Posts: 4395	Sat 05/18/13 11:01 PM
I don't like to hear all the details of someones or mines failed relationship on the first couple of dates. Hey I'm excited about you and I want to go out have have a enjoyable time and get to know you. After a few times together I'm more than willing to open up but not at first.

jhonerrick Joined Sat 04/27/13 Posts: 8	Tue 05/21/13 09:03 PM
Don’t be telling lies to people that you might eventually meet up with. It is important for you to exercise caution in what you say. Honesty built a good relation in dating.

Lonelyeye Joined Wed 05/22/13 Posts: 3	Wed 05/22/13 04:17 PM
No you do not.

Toodygirl5 Joined Fri 10/26/12 Posts: 14974	Wed 05/22/13 04:23 PM
I had a date and the guy talked so much about his past relationships it scared me off from wanting any future relationship. He told on his self, although I gave him credit for being honest. Most men would not tell everything he did. I was glad he shared. That way you know the real MAN upfront.

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Wed 05/22/13 04:24 PM
Why on Earth would anyone be interested in my past relationships? I am not morbidly interested in theirs!

jhonerrick Joined Sat 04/27/13 Posts: 8	Wed 05/22/13 11:21 PM
Dating is the best way to find partner so when you met your partner don’t be shy. Show off what you want others to know about you. For example, instead of saying that you are a funny person, include a joke in your profile. The impact will be much greater. Highlight your characteristics that you think will make you distinctive. After all, you do want to stand out from the crowd.

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Thu 05/23/13 07:59 AM
[b[ On a first date and she is asking me about my ex (or ex's) and wants to talk and talk about hers?......Check please!

Jtevans Joined Fri 08/10/07 Posts: 30654	Thu 05/23/13 08:12 AM
Before going to date we have to know how to behave with him/her. Whether it’s a compliment or a complaint, do not talk about your ex-partners. Your first date is also an indication of a new start. Focus on the person you are presently with. Let your date know you are interested in getting to know better about him/her. i do hide me exes in my closet

jhonerrick Joined Sat 04/27/13 Posts: 8	Thu 05/23/13 11:17 PM
Maintaining best profile is the key thing in dating. A picture is better than a thousand words. Profiles with photos included always receive more responses than otherwise.

Winlei Joined Sat 01/26/13 Posts: 4048	Thu 05/23/13 11:38 PM
Before going to date we have to know how to behave with him/her. Whether it’s a compliment or a complaint, do not talk about your ex-partners. Your first date is also an indication of a new start. Focus on the person you are presently with. Let your date know you are interested in getting to know better about him/her. i do hide me exes in my closet dead or alive?

jhonerrick Joined Sat 04/27/13 Posts: 8	Fri 05/24/13 11:20 PM
Maintaining best profile is the key thing in dating. Always review your profile thoroughly before posting it in any dating website. We should not give any false information included in profile to mislead other people.

jhonerrick Joined Sat 04/27/13 Posts: 8	Sun 05/26/13 10:06 PM
Are you meeting your partner for first time? There is never a second chance to make the first impression. Be punctual on your first date. Let your date know you are respectful and sincere on your first date.