He broke my heart, I still love him, I feel like I have been cut in half and one half is missing, he is now going to be married to a horrid old witch, we were so incredibly right together, I won't ever find that again, Ii can't eat, sleep. Think, laugh, concentrate, I want him here again next to me, sharing smiles and love and our life..

I'm sorry to hear that :( heartaches suck especially when you love that person with all your heart and it will take time to get over but trust me you can get through this. Right now worry about you. You need to pamper yourself and think about you. Get your mind off it, it will help the healing process. After that, move on. I guarantee he will regret ever ending it. Even if he doesn't tell you himself. He will

This too shall pass

Hun stop torturing yourself put that out of your mind and move on .Don't let the hurt rob you of a new love you will find .If you want to talk you can go to my profile.

awww sweetheart

This may be difficult to read but you've put this out there and I will honour you with an honest response.

If it was so incredibly right, you would still be together. And even if he is miserable married to this other woman, it is still a choice he made.

So many of my clients hold on to the relationship that they wanted it to be and not the reality of what it was. Women, in particular, are really great at holding on to the happy bits while minimizing the not-so-great parts.

In time you can look back more objectively.

For now, it is okay to be wherever you are. We've all been there. And I promise you that you can find that again and more.

Treat yourself with loving kindness. That includes not beating yourself up with what if's and if only's.

Start asking the question - without trying to answer it - what is right about this that I am not getting? Or ask what would it take to grieve this relationship deeply, fully and completely now? Or what would it take to create a life and love beyond what I can currently imagine?

Asking questions without trying to answer them gets the stuck energy moving and opens up new possibilities

Also be sure to breathe deeply and fully. When we are in emotionally traumatic times, the first thing we shut down is our breath... we breath shallow in the lungs rather than deep into the diaphragm. By breathing shallow, we are able to dull the emotion but we also prevent them from processing -- trapping them in our body to take longer to resolve. Emotions are meant to be in motion.

All the best

Hello Hpants, I could tell from your words that you are from my birth Country (Uk) I did check your profile
to help further understand your situation.

You seamed quite young but infact your just 3 years younger than myself, as artgurl me mentioned, we've all been there.
My advice would be find some time alone and listen to a James Blunt song called Goodbye my lover & have a good cry & repeat then a would say "suck it up, buttercup! "Keep a stiff upper lip & soldier on man,
I know, how British of me to say.
This is also similar to addictions, the key is to never glorify the good time's and this is also a treatment rule.
Another healthy exercise is write on a piece of paper the aggregators/ mitigates, (pros n con's) it realy
Puts things into perspective, furthermore, there my be community support groups with people going through the same thing?or is it still taboo to have feelings in England?
Meditation is also a great mind exercise @artgurl mentioned, thinking only about the air comming in &
out of your lungs, in through the nose & out the mouth, try this for 10 minutes at a time thinking only about
the air entering & expelling, its hard to do but this will help to pass negative thoughts through, commonly used for carvings, works great, moreover, journeying is amazing, "chicken soup for rhe sole" those
Psychology workshops sure paid off they were right! This is so far out of my comfort zone, so always
challenge yourself &stay involved in the forum, so make sure you fine the time.
Albert Einstein definition of crazy was doing the same thing over & over & expecting different results

I must agree with Artgirl....

No matter how good we think a relationship was at times if we look at it from a different perspective. Then we realize it was not as good as it seemed...

It is tough when we break up with one that we love with all our hearts.... for what ever known reason they decided to move on... At times their feelings were not the same as ours..

All I can give is that within time you will look back and realize it was a mere stepping stone to the one that will truly love you back in the way you deserve....

didn't your parents teach you you can't have everything you want? get over it and move on, there are plenty of guys that would feel that way about you, why waste your time on one that doesn't?

I know you have kids at home so you cant be good to anyone else, unless your good for yourself, start
thinking about selfcare & changes.
You mentioned that you will "never have that again" that love again
Well we all can, but that statement and reading your profile, makes me think your are so stuck in your ways, & if thats the case I would be looking with in.
Couldn't help but notice you weren't faulting him one bit.
If your going to act like your single in a relationship, your bound to be, you need to change it up to
keep the interest there.
I know your into woodworking/carpentry for a profession , the dreads, outdoor type, & thats cool
I myself like the " tom boy" type, ball cap or a picksy cut style but she has to have a feminine side,
sometimes you have to let the man feel like a man.
That would meen final say on some of the issues regarding the kids, weather there his or not,dont undermine him or always go against him in front of them.
dont always do the " fixit" chores yourself or tell him how to do everything,
You say your fit as f..., well a dont dout that you can bend nails with your as.. but if it wasn't for
the female's feminine side all us guys would have twice the chance of a date on a Saturday night, wouldn't
we, so femininity is key, of coarse unless one wants to swap teams n go "tongue n grove"
My piont is about having content, a fit body my only get you a one night stand, its all the rest is what will
keep him around.
I see that your very true to yourself on your profile & that good, its honest, no "surprises" that way but does
es

Just a thought for you to consider.

If you were really so perfect together, then maybe he made a very bad decision.

But if that's the case, don't you deserve someone who makes better choices?

Also, if he was not the right one for you, and you thought he was so wonderful...just imagine how much more awsome the right one will be!

A vacation works wonders for how you're feeling. Someplace tropical, leaving all reminders of them behind. Works for me. Cruises are great too.

Everyone goes thru this, sometimes love really hurts when it goes bad. Hang in there it will pass in the mean time just concentrate on things that make you happy. Be happy and God bless you.

Thank you everyone, the replies made me cry yet again, I'm just worried that the sense of loss, missing him, and the hurt are getting worse day by day not better....it's months now (August 15th 2012 we split) I thought I would be getting better now not worse, wish I had my mates near me to chat too but I find myself stuck hundreds of miles away from them in a remote very boring village...crap what did I do to deserve this aye? X

I no it sucks yes I remenber, yes you said you recently moved ,life's like that, it seens to always all
come down at once.
It mite help, because when those friends are around sometimes we cant stop talking about are x
and eventually they dont want to here about it, always talking about that person tends to keep it fresh.
When I went through is bad it was with my wife but I awaited to long to move on so I was always
longing for her love.
Yes 5 years I waited, have since split from last girl 11months ago, I now only think of her now
but its not so bad, it took me to have a girlfriend to finely get over my wife.
I will never forget her, she helped me more than she'll ever no.
What do you guys say, "the best way to get over a man is get under another one"
Right, " fake it till ya make it"....lol.
There's always some fun topics here...think you'd like it, its fun.
If you feel like talking just mes me your welcome anytime,

All the best, ....ps does H stand for hot pants ...neeed to know

Jamie

It's a grieving process. It takes a while. Like when someone dies, there's no time limit to get over it. However, no-one wants to be miserable for years on end. It happens to MOST, so just remember that ;) You don't have to go on the rebound, either. You know how you feel, but try not to kick yourself for feeling like this. Yes it makes you feel like crap, but it will gradually get better, too.

Totally agree! it will take a bit of time to move on but u will. everyone at some point has felt that way. be strong and when your over him you will look back and wonder why. keep your chin up chic xx

It always hurts more in the first few weeks of it happening because it still feels so fresh. Try not to think about what he's doing all the time. Heck, he may not even be doing what you may think. He could be feeling just as upset as you are. If you are so keen on fixing your bond with him, maybe write him a letter, or send him an e-mail, but only after you've both had time to give each other space. A few months. A year. Christmas or birthday is always a good excuse to get together. However, he will either read your letter and offer friendship, or he won't. Just know that the better the communication between you both, the better you can put it behind you. If he remains bitter then so be it. I swear he will regret it, whether he tells you or not. The unsaid stuff makes them think more, because it plays on their conscious that they still want to tell you.

I like you RawGirl

Good mature attitude

Let the dust settle, We all make choices and mistakes.Get on with your life and try to find positive goals that uplift your self esteem. Try not to fall into self sabotage to cope with the hurt and pain. Live your dreams and if he is the one for you and the opportunity presents itself once more,then fate will happen . Otherwise seek out your unforefilled goals and learn the wisdom from this experience and build on your next relationship from any mistakes you may have made in this one ?

Thanks :) I just think bitterness and silent treatment are a waste of time and energy. At least if one day, they can talk again, that may help resolve matters. Even if it means just being friend's.

Thanks everybody, your messages have been read and digested. Something happened this week, don't know what it was or what changed but I'm feeling better, I only think about him 92547297452894762454894517 times a day now instead of constantly hahahaha..only jokin, nar something has changed though, I'm feeling better, am able to laugh and smile again, I'm even thinking about the future now without him and its not making me sick when I do...I have no doubt that the horrid painfull sick feelings will come back from time to time but for now I'm doing better...thanks for all your love and help and support xxxx