I saw this on my FB stream and thought I'd share it here. It's pretty funny. We always hear 'the rules' from the female side now here are the rules from the male side (please note: these are all numbered #1 on purpose!).


1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

* Subtle hints do not work!
* Strong hints do not work!
* Obvious hints do not work!
* Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we...

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings..
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear..

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping...

That was awesome dude. I love the mind reader part. I often use to tell women.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to tell me what you want. I lost my job at the psychic hotline due to incompetence"

Obviously U have NEVER Been Married!! U get trained quick!!! LOL!!!

I was married and I didn't write these. It was just something I saw on my FB timeline and I thought it was funny.

Well they are funny as hell!!!!

Enjoyed every bit...actually very familiar with these, having worked with guys for the longest time,..funny...and true..

Guess I'm an odd duck, as these are the last two things I would be thinking about.

I agree with all of these except ....no and yes are not good answers, if i wanted someone who never spoke and couldn't carry on conversations, i would find something temporary.

Hilarious!

It's suppose to be humorous. You know, ha-ha...funny.

Wouldn't be near as funny if it weren't so true.

Ahhhh, shades of the original TV program 2 and Half Men with Charley Sheen saying most of those things in all his shows.
One day, reading the credits, it turned out that most of the scripts were written by women writers, what a surprise; obviously some do understand the male general outlook on things domestic.

I've had experience with the very first one so often that now I just tell women, 'Look...I have many talents, but ESP isn't one of them.'

That's funny stuff
I bet my mother knows 200 colours and dad 16
Ths couch is like camping for us aaahaaaaha thats great

Hahaha! Enjoyed this post very much.

Well,
Looks like someone found us out.....

heheheh that is funny heheh i like it only u know us women we like to talk in anytime specially in commercial ...so be happy and clean your ears for us