A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 130 kph, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
"Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut."

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $120 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says," Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."

that reminds me of another similar joke i was told once.

a man was pulled over by a police unit and the officer came up to his window and said to him, "i noticed you were wearing your seat belt. you are the first person i have seen wearing one today so i am awarding you $5000." the man says to him, but officer didnt you know i was going 100 miles over the limit." his wife in the passenger seat says, "oh dont listen to him officer. he always lies when hes drunk." then a man wakes up from the back seat and says, "sh1t, i knew we wouldnt get far in a stolen vehicle." then a voice comes from the trunk in spanish, saying, "are we over the border yet?"