I recently went to my sorority 20th anniversary, in Atlanta, and had a blast. But in talking to my line sisters I found a disturbing trend.

Many we're married and had children and were content with their lives, the kicker was that most confessed that they were NEVER attracted to their husbands. They married them for various reasons: they wanted families, they knew he would be faithful, they knew he would be a good provider, they knew he would provide a stable environment. Most loved their husbands but were never in love with them. Sex and intimacy was something that they DID to get what they wanted.

That sounds so sad to me. To spend my life with someone I wasn't excited to see or hold. To be with someone who didn't give me butterflies or when i saw them grin so hard my lips went numb.

I've been on lots of dates, with men that I've met online. We have had a great time, had plenty in common, but for me no spark.

My question is: am I'm expecting too much to have the physical attraction as well as the honesty, faithfulness, security, etc? Am I short changing myself and him for settling for anything less?

Input?

NO,THAT isn't too much!
It all depends on what takes center stage-differing from person to person!
We also dont know how your line sisters are being treated by these men! They will not tell u!
I've seen women cruising Lamborghinis,latest Audis and such-but with patches of color on the cheeks and arms-from lastnite's ''fall down the stairs''!!

Well,maybe u'll also do the settling thingy one day.....but,focus on what you feel is most important in your eyes!

Mortica7, you would have all of that if you would choose me.



Oh, alright. I admit that my mechanical "human" suit is malfunctioning and needs an overhaul, but at least you would know where I was every night.

yes, you are...

From the fingertips of someone who has been there and almost done that, I can easily explain how I came very close.

He was just that awsome, and I was just that young...too young to realize the difference between an infatuation for him being so fun, witty, intellegent, kind, gentle, caring, patient, generous of heart...you get the picture... and being in love.

That, coupled with the fact that there was never a shortage of others complaining about the shortcomings of their spouses and partners at a time when this amazing man proposed. So, viewing it as a choice of one kind or another, of course I thought 'yeah, I'll take this one!' In fact my answer was actually, "Hell YES!"

I did love him very much, but I realized later I was not in love....I didn't even know what that felt like then.

Looks like my answer disappeared when I edited....sorry.

No, I don't think it's asking too much, at leastyou know what you're asking for.

It's been my experience that you rarely get what you dont ask for.

Thanks newbiechick,
You're right you never get the full story about what happens behind closed doors, which is why I've learned not to covent what others have. You might just get what you wished for! All of it, not just the pretty part

Thanks DoDo_David,
As tempting as the offer might be, we do have a significant distance barrier AND I'm really into human males only at this point of my life.
Although the orange/brown body hair is pretty attractive and looks nice against my brown skin!

You know what 1Cynderella I was raised with that quote 'a closed mouth doesn't get fed' so I totally agree with at least asking for what you want. it's just some point you do that self reality check to make you are still on the planet as your conterparts or did you make the left at 'girl you have lost it' black hole.

Thanks for the reality check ; )

ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa
Yippieeee yaay....we have a winner!


Now you reminding me of that song from Indian Irie-Brown skin.....