I'm putting it to you that you do want something from these women and going on about not wanting "sex or anything like that" is a fudge. What does it matter if they don't respond to it if you don't expect it to lead to anything at all? Is it just attention seeking and leading people on or are you actually looking for more than just attention from them?

Is this "romance withdrawl" just about missing something that you had that is gone now and you aren't ready to move on? I am sorry if you think that this is a personal attack but you put it out there for discussion.

Having a bad day, are we? :)

Evasion.

It doesn't particularly matter to me what you want from these women. I thought that it was an interesting topic but if you don't want to discuss it then please yourself.

There's nothing wrong with romance. Perhaps, save it for special occasions? Or, just every once in a while if the woman isn't as into romantic gestures as you are? That way, you won't be overdoing it and won't be expecting so much in return.

Or, find women who are more like you and into those things if you're really looking for them to reciprocate.

It doesn't sound like he's having a bad day. All we can do is go by what you've said here and it does seem like you're looking for something in return. There's not necessarily anything wrong with that, but you have to realize that not all women are going to be as into doing romantic things as you are.

I'm a romantic because I'm romantic. A true romantic is a way of life, not so much a give and take. We are naturally into the culture of love whether it is for ourselves or for others, or just enjoying the arts that come with being this way. A romantic is someone who is into the goodness of love for love sake as a whole.

Part time romance is cool but I don't think that makes someone a romantic. I think it's more of a way of viewing life. A way of seeing things through a certain kind of window. I enjoy the way it makes me feel and get lost in the moment of romance. Again it doesn't have to involve a person of interest all the time, but more the art.

It seems to me that it's about getting caught up in a little fantasy and being afraid of taking it any further because you don't want it to go wrong and for you to lose that person or the fantasy relationship.

I don't really want to make this personal because someone put it out there for discussion but he did and it is something that I've talked about with women that I've "met" on dating sites. I do think that it is only romantic if you think that it might be leading somewhere but some people are not sure if they really want it to and in a situation like this where you don't really know the person it can be like having a crush and seeing only what you want to see in that person.

There is the fear of rejection or the fear that the reality won't match up to the fantasy. Possibly it has to do with being afraid of sex or not being sure that you want a physical relationship.

Oh well, at least I can't be accused of attacking women here but some people might say that "romantics" are effeminate or that the whole "hopeless romantic" thing is about torturing yourself and feeling that love is unatainable.

"One size" doesn't really fit everyone...It's all about compatibility....Some men and women place romance high-up on their list of priorities. (And others don't.)...Why chase after someone who doesn't "like/want/appreciate" what we have to "offer?".. We don't run into as many conflicts (or headaches) when we take the time to look for a compatible mate. (This has been my experience anyway.)

Sorry your relationship ended but it sounds like you learned a lot from the experience...Resentments can definitely pile-up and turn a previously happy relationship into a "nightmare." (Due to expectations that aren't "met.")...I'm a pretty low-key type of person and I don't always know how to handle "grand displays" of love and romance etc....It can be overwhelming for me! And just "too much!"...I don't want to feel indebted to someone based on all "they do" for me.. I don't want to have to say "thank you" day and night (and even in my sleep) because someone keeps "showering me" with "stuff." (And this includes lavish praise and compliments too.)....I tend to be practical and "down-to-earth" and I prefer modest and "even-keel" type of relationships. How do you feel about it today?

I think that it can be a sign of insecurity in a relationship when someone constantly requires you to make romantic gestures. A lot of the time making the gesture really isn't an expression of love for the other person at all. Then when there are problems in the relationship or if it doesn't work out you say to them, "Why did you say all of that to me if you didn't mean it?"

It is leading people on.

The biggest stumbling block in a person's life is themselves. Sometimes we do things and we're not even aware we're doing them, then another person comes along and tells you something about yourself and you're like, "Really? I do that?"

Life is a learning experience, we either learn from it or get mowed under by it. I posted this thread because I felt I was doing something that may be excessive. I am a romantic guy and I love doing romantic things for the women I'm interested in, but I also wanted to find out what other people thought about that.

I have learned a great deal in the last year and a half and I'm finally starting to like the person I've become. For a while I thought perhaps being this way (romantic) was a turn-off to some women. Maybe it was me, or maybe it was them. I don't know.

There's no way you're ever going to learn about something unless you ask and that's why I'm here—to interact with others, ask questions, converse and see what happens. Naturally there's only so much you can do in a text-only environment, but nothing ventured is nothing gained.

My thoughts on the subject...

Romantic gestures as well as compliments, when laid on too thick and/or too soon can easily take on the appearance and feel of a carrot dangled before a cart, or even a lure in a snare. Most people...not just women... don’t want to feel lead or caged...not even into a romantic adventure with an, otherwise seemingly, terrific person.

I find myself doing the same thing after getting to know someone and speaking with them for a great extent. I enjoy doing it just because being able to lighten someone's day or make them smile when I think they need it means a lot to me. Now if you are speaking of barely knowing someone, it might need to be toned back a bit. Romance is a beautiful thing, but these days most wonder what the underlying motive is.

And therein lies the quandary; the suspicions of the opposite sex as to the underlying motives or intentions. Thankfully, the gal I share my romantic gestures with doesn't have these issues, but I know a lot of people do. It's quite sad, really.

It is. But you can thank those who use such flowery words and sweet gestures only to advance their own desires for it. For every one man or woman who is a hopeless romantic trying to bring a little song into someones heart, there are a dozen others who are just looking to catch a careless pawn.

I think romance is fine and beautiful, you just have to make sure it is understood and accepted.

Oh please; "issues". "using flowery words to advance their own desires"? It's called romancing a lady. Some people actually want something real you know. It is just that there are some men that think that because a woman acted friendly when they tried to chat them up that means that she wants to jump straight into a relationship with them. Sometimes it can be just as much the fault of the women for just not putting these guys straight but sooner or later they have to do so with stalkers or they won't leave them alone. Not every guy is going to act like that though and there is nothing in principle wrong with trying to "advance your desires". It is only a problem when either the woman just isn't interested or the guy gets carried away and won't take no for an answer.

Jealous?

Of what? I have female friends on the internet as well.

What have you got going with this woman that you're talking about that I could possibly be jealous about? Are you dating her? Is she your girlfriend? Have you ever met her?

I am on here because I am looking to meet somebody. Maybe it will happen and maybe it won't but I am in no particular hurry at the moment. Most of these women live too far away for dating but yeah, it's nice and it's romantic to do this and think that it might be leading somewhere.

What are you doing that I'm not doing that I should be jealous about? Am I supposed to be jealous because you aren't getting any and aren't even bothered about that anyway?

I'm not bothered by that. Does it bother you?

Am I bothered about trying to get a girlfriend? Yeah, that's why I'm on here and I've got "relationship" as what I'm looking for on my profile.

I am not looking for casual sex or a fling. I have even turned women down on here because they weren't looking for a relationship. Been there and done that and I don't regret it but I am looking for more than that now.