Hello everyone I have a question for you all. I often hear the word husband and wife in the human world. Yet in the animal kingdom a pair are called mates. Since they stay together for life.

Would you rather consider your other half your husband/wife (which to me seems temporary) or Mate? I would say mate myself. But I want to know what everyone thinks.

Excellent question! One of the best questions someone can ask.

Todays world has temporary stamped all over it. Breaks my heart, really it does. How selfish we have become to treat our love life with such disrespect. I can understand mistakes, I get it, been there, but to throw out the possibility of being "mates" has a lifetime of loneliness written all over it, I don't care how many times we tell ourselves we're content.

Mates is a term that people these days sadly use as a punchline while they draw up their "what is mine" papers. How pathetic is that! If you don't trust, don't call someone a mate cause they are the farthest thing from it in you heart of hearts. These misused terms of marriages we have put into place have screwed up peoples minds so bad that they have become bitter stones of breakable figurines that sometimes don't even seem like they possess human likenesses. Untouchable, gloom filled lumps of what probably was a person full of hopes and dreams at one time.

how ever did we drift so far from the magic of permanent love

You are absolutely correct. Now days people view love as "well until I get tired of them" and the word "mate" is used so frivolously. But for myself I use the word Mate are permanent thing. I hate the word husband or wife.


To bond yourself to another should never be taken lightly. If you know down the road you will have problems then don't get together in the first damn place. I guess I harken back to the old ways, not the modern way of thinking.

Well, in both the human and animal world (and hey, we're animals too), some mate for life and some don't. In either case, they're mates.

Mate. Partner. Spouse. To some extent, they are interchangeable terms, and don't necessarily imply any degree of permanence or impermanence.

I believe in forever love. I'm also divorced, so go figure. When it isn't working, and you've tried to make it work and both of you finally realize it isn't going to, sometimes that's the best solution. Sometimes you can even remain friends afterward.

But I'm still looking for forever. With luck I'll find it.

Via I really do understand the thing about really wanting things to work and divorce is the only thing that can be done. I know that it happens and I like to start as friends end as friends.


What I am getting at is (and yes we are all animals my lady just few want to accept it) that one person who will be with you no matter what. Work with you when times get hard and be able to bolster each other. I know that it can be done. I know that a lot of it is finding the right person who just clicks. It is easier said than done.

Names are only words ...
Hearts go much deeper...
Souls are forever...

so i would call my lady
...DESTINY !


\\
...\/...

KiK


Hehe
Your name is usagibutt ....{You saggy butt}

I just want to be someone's companion. I have done the husband wife thing. I am not a good wife. I am not one who likes to cook and clean and fold laundry. Not saying all wives do that but a vast percentage do. Mating sounds like mere sex to me. If that is what you want, more power to you.

My cats name is Usagi and she can be a butt at times. So I just combined the two. Usagibutt. But I can see why how it sounds that way. I make fun of it as well.

For me it is not wanting more sex. That is not what the word means to me. Yes, I understand there is a mating season. But I am refering to who swans with stay together for life. when one dies the other will follow. It is like those old couple that stay together through everything and then one goes and the other follows....Those times they are mates. Not husband or wife.


To me a mate is bonded in the soul and cannot live literally without the other. That is what I am trying to get at.

I'm right there with you. I don't mind having a friend, a very close friend (hi baby) and share my love with her but the real deal for life is the ultimate of living. Been there, had it, and it's the best without comparison.

My friend and I have talked about it but she knows the level I'm hunting for and willing to accept. She'll be the first to tell someone "he's in for the heavy and nothing less". She has more of a temporary look on things and knows this will end on a nice note with a few tears, but it will end.

I only really want/need a mate. A temp service is just that. It can be nice and caring but really only comes down to great friends.

BTW my palie reads my posts and is very supportive of my heart's desires. I get the feeling sometimes many up here aren't true blue and maybe play the field as best they can. Not my style.

AHHHH !
Now it makes more sense to me...
{chuckle}
Wondered why a nice lady would call herself that

Thanks for the humor !

I like to make friends rather than play the field. That isn't my style either. For starters it is nothing but problems. I also do not think it is right either.

I am glad that I could make you chuckle. It is a very funny name if you look at it.

michale . . i love your posts. i agree too many people look at relationships as temporary. they are always thinking they will find greener grass on the other side. So :drink. to those of us searching for our Destany as so elloquently Kik put it . .may you find your true love.

It's only very recently that the perception of the institution of marriage being a one shot deal fell apart in our society. It's in no small part due to the Industrial Revolution and the collapse of faith within the family.
I've said this before...once people stopped going to churches and started casting God out of their lives, marriage and the sanctity of the family unit became disposable.
Am I saying we all need to get our butts back to church?
No...not at all.
Despite the fact that divorce was extremely uncommon, the marriage institution was used as well to diminish women, to control them, and to leave them in hopeless states of despair, unable to escape a life of abuse.
So...within seemingly a generation, we've swung to an opposite extreme. It is my hope that someday soon we find a happy medium between the two.
We need SOMETHING to be held accountable to for our actions. For me it is God...my ex was a non Christian Mohawk, but his morals meshed nicely with mine, because he believes in a supreme Creator and his life is governed by the tenants of his society which are governed by respect and peace and fairness.
Another aspect to consider is that there is so much family dysfunction these days, again due in no small part to the collapse of the nuclear family. Dysfunction gets carried from relationship to relationship and makes it very difficult to establish healthy patterns. How can you when you don't know how? Without experiencing this family unit as a child, how can you hope to re-create it as an adult? Myself personally, that was my background, and it took me many years and lots of heartbreak to realize the negative patterns I was following, and to then consciously eradicate them and to replace them with positive ones. *sigh* It's still a day to day process where the old patterns rear their heads and I have to stamp them back into submission.

When I think of the word 'mate' I just naturally think of Coffee-mate but then if you are with someone that it just seems naturally right to be with it takes a lot of the guess work out.

I view that the woman that will be my wife as my mate.

A soul mate by any other name is still a soul mate.

Even if you call him ******* *** **** at times.

Humans are husband and wife or spouses, which are marriage partners. Humans do not have Mates.

I'm human, and I've had mates.