I'm terrified
That I'm too touched
To feel
I'm petrified
That intimacy
Will always reek havoc
On my emotions
I'm utterly mortified
At the darker side
Of me
It's ability
To persistently attack
What virtues' left in me
I can't even fathom
What it is to be me
not even in some alternate reality
I know who I am in every other way
yet as a women to a man
I've no clue who I am
Its this paralyzing fear
Encompassing my being
Its like a force field
I'm locked in and you're locked out
If one's fighting and one's not
WE'VE
ALREADY
LOST

Could it be transference Tay?...Fear of abandonment?...This poem tears me up child!

Excellent write......