Topic: A Real Relationship
Jammy1992's photo
Tue 01/01/13 11:44 PM
Everyone can say "I LOVE YOU" but not everyone
really means it. So believe it, when you feel it, not
when you hear it....!!

navygirl's photo
Wed 01/02/13 09:14 AM

Everyone can say "I LOVE YOU" but not everyone
really means it. So believe it, when you feel it, not
when you hear it....!!


I know when my friends and family say they love me; I can certainly believe it. I can't say the same for any guys that I have dated.

no photo
Wed 01/02/13 10:48 AM
I get what you're saying, OP. It's okay, as their actions normally speak far louder than their words ever will. I know what to look out for.

TawtStrat's photo
Wed 01/02/13 11:03 AM

I get what you're saying, OP. It's okay, as their actions normally speak far louder than their words ever will. I know what to look out for.


Okay, say I fail to do certain things that a woman gets into her head that I would do if I really loved her does it follow that I don't love her? I think not.

FearandLoathing's photo
Wed 01/02/13 11:05 AM
All relationships are real...They just don't all go the way we hoped they would go...And then fire confetti and gum drops.

navygirl's photo
Wed 01/02/13 01:07 PM


I get what you're saying, OP. It's okay, as their actions normally speak far louder than their words ever will. I know what to look out for.


Okay, say I fail to do certain things that a woman gets into her head that I would do if I really loved her does it follow that I don't love her? I think not.



I agree. You shouldn't have to do certain things to prove you love someone and that person shouldn't guilt you into doing things for them to prove you love them.

jacktrades's photo
Wed 01/02/13 01:44 PM
I agree deeds not words.

teebee79's photo
Wed 01/02/13 01:46 PM

Everyone can say "I LOVE YOU" but not everyone
really means it. So believe it, when you feel it, not
when you hear it....!!


So true! A guy said it to me after our 2nd date! I don't think I could have changed my number quick enough!

Toodygirl5's photo
Wed 01/02/13 05:25 PM
Love is just a four letter word, to Many people. True Love is not about talk but action.

no photo
Wed 01/02/13 06:10 PM

All relationships are real...They just don't all go the way we hoped they would go...And then fire confetti and gum drops.


yes. I like this. I have had guys say are we in a relationship or friends? and I'm like ...wait...what??? run that by me again??laugh

TawtStrat's photo
Thu 01/03/13 07:11 AM
I think it's just that there are different types of relationship. I personally wouldn't consider myself to really be in a relationship if it hadn't been consumated. I've been involved with people that just wanted a casual relationship on the other hand and that's more like a fling than what I would call a proper relationship.

Merely dating someone isn't really a "relationship". That's what they used to call "courting".

no photo
Thu 01/03/13 07:22 AM

I think it's just that there are different types of relationship. I personally wouldn't consider myself to really be in a relationship if it hadn't been consumated. I've been involved with people that just wanted a casual relationship on the other hand and that's more like a fling than what I would call a proper relationship.

Merely dating someone isn't really a "relationship". That's what they used to call "courting".



well this is a great illustration of how the weltanschaung (so to speak) differs. To me, though they have different parameters as you mentioned, they are all nonetheless "relationships"

I think a question might be: "What is my relationship to this person?"

It could be anything from paperboy (better a cabana boydrool ) to spouse

TawtStrat's photo
Thu 01/03/13 09:57 AM
Yes, obviously people tend to use the term "relationship" in the context that's relevant here to signify commitment. There's a fine line perhaps between "seeing somebody" and being in a "relationship" with them. Relationship is the new marriage really. Some of them don't work very well but having a "partner" is being in a relationship as I understand it. Of course, the whole thing can become quite complicated when there isn't the piece of paper and relationships are on and off, with the whole "being on a break" thing. Is a relationship over only when it's over for good?

You can ask someone what their relationship is with someone else and they might say that they are only friends. Maybe "relationship" does just mean sexual relationship. At the end of the day it is a word that carries a certain meaning when used in that context.

Goofball73's photo
Thu 01/03/13 04:59 PM
I believe people need to figure out how to distinguish between "lust" and "love".

Lyndy1970's photo
Thu 01/03/13 05:17 PM
I would prefer NOT to be told "I love you" by anyone other than my kiddo.

Why? Because it trips from the lips a little too easily. Show me by just being there when I need someone to talk to, or buy me one single flower, not a whole dozen, but one you looked and looked for until you found it....there are many many simple ways to show how much you actually DO love me.

And believe me, I WILL reciprocate.

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 01/03/13 05:19 PM
It is also important to recognize if someone is just desperate for an alternative living situation or if they actually love you.

So often people looking for a room-mate justify it by throwing around a few "I LOVE YOU's" but really it is "hey I can't afford the rent on my own" and has nothing to do with love or long term committment.

Sometimes it is saving face with family and the presure from family moves ther relationship further along than it would go on it's own.

Especially when birthcontrol gets lax and a unplanned pregnancy comes into the situation.

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 01/08/13 01:02 PM
Often times dating is just that dating! No love no committments and that is what many people want, no strings attached.

Lyndy1970's photo
Wed 01/09/13 07:52 AM
Ahhh....but here is the devil's advocate having a say in this....

You do all the things you THINK shows how much you love your partner, telling them that you want to see them more often, just being there when they need a friend to talk to, touch them somehow, even just placing your hand on their shoulder or back as you walk by...etc etc.

Then...because you never TOLD them that you loved them, they sought out and found someone else who TOLD them the words, and married them.

So I say, mix it together....tell them, but also show it in your actions.

And before you ask, YES this happened to me....we were a perfect match, accepted each other's faults, complete physical and mental compatibility, were "a couple" for about 2 years, then one day he tells me he can't see me anymore cause he found the love of his life and was marrying herexplode noway mad :angry:

oldhippie1952's photo
Wed 01/09/13 07:53 AM
If I grow feelings for you, I will tell you I love you. And I mean it.

Precious-Man's photo
Wed 01/09/13 07:43 PM
Man you're on point