Met a man online the end of August...we met for coffee on 9/14...haven't seen him since...we talk on the phone twice a week..he tells me both of his marriages and every relationship since he's a rescuer have been bombs..he rescues the woman and then she dumps him so he claims to be so afraid of going too fast...TOO FAST....not a second date in 6 weeks...and yet he send sme pictures of his kids, asks me if he spent the day with me if I would be upset if he didn't spend the night , asks me if I came and hung out with him at work would I automatically expect to go home with him...I have blown him off and he always comes back...BUT...I need to shake this guy out of my life...i haven't slept in 3 days trying to figure out something that can't be figured out and I know it...I'm not sure whether to just let him do all the calling and be somewhat unavailable..not mention anything about anything..have generic phone calls....send him an e-mail and tell him how I feel...or just not answer my phone....my second husband had trust issues but wasn't this bad....all points to him hiding something but my gut tells me he's not...what to do ...what to do...

My own personal opinion is to cut him off completely. Don't e-mail him, don't call him, don't answer his calls. Sounds fishy to me, like maybe he is married, or engaged, or already has a GF. Let him go, there are lots of guys out there, don't let this one play with your mind and emotions. Good Luck!!!

i agree. I smell manipulative BS here!

If I were you I would not be losing sleep over him. Better to move on than waste time figuring out something you won't. You can't get inside of his head.

This guy sounds a little shakey to me. Beware!!

Tell him the relationship is just too strange for you then kick him to the curb!

1. Liar, this isn't true if he really wants something serious with a woman.

2. They do that to keep their options open. No means no. Tell his penis that since he isn't thinking with his heart.

3. If this guy really knew what he wanted you wouldn't be so confused. I got a headache just reading that. Go back to your original path. LOSE the LOSAH.

dump him!!!

what woman needs that...there are millions of men out there....start fishin again!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You've known the guy for about two months, only met him once, only talk to him on the phone about twice a week, he doesn't want to move fast enough, and you think he's hiding something? You've blown him off and he always comes back?

And you're indecisive about what to do?

Call him and email him with hot messages and how badly you want his body.

Don`t do this, though, if he knows your name or where you live and work.

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Call him and tell him the most boring stories of your childhood and old family sagas,and tell him how exciting these are, and laugh and tell him that the really funny part is, is... and say something completley humourless, and laugh, and slap your knees.

Don't do this if you think he is prone to violence.

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Call him at odd times of days, and tell him sweet little things like you saw a rose today on a restaurant table as you walked by, and how much it reminded you of him... and then followed by the essentials of the last Sunday's sermon . Then tell him how you saw the first Rolls Royce in your life that day, or any day, whatever, and how it reminded you of the pitter-patter of little feet. Or that your cousin is on a tour of the castles and palaces on the Loir valley and and she sent you a card from the palace of Versailles, and how that reminds you of a house with a yard and white picket fence around it. With barbed wire and seven-metre tall guard towers every hundred feet. Tell him you love the sweet little chitter-chatters you have with him so.

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Whichever you do, keep in mind you MUST TALK INCESSANTLY and never allow him to butt in to say anything more than ''Yes, but...'', or ''Yeah, right, but...'', or ''Right, for instnace'' and the sort.

This will drive him to sleepless nights at first, at least as long into the night as you are able to stay up and chitter-chatter on the phone with him.

When he hangs up for the tenth time in a row as soon as he hears your voice, then you can stop, and be assured he`d never, ever, call again.

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He`s a goof, a liar, a player and a plyer, if you ask me. If you are in love with him, I am sorry, I take back this last bit. You never heard me say this.

Hi everyone....thanks so much...no I am not in love with him..couldn't be aftera cup of coffeee and a few phone calls...I think I am drawn to nice looking dysfunctional men...and have been trying to figure him out...he's been keeping me around and I've been done for awhile..but can't seem to STOP all contact..I just closed down the only e-mail adddress that he has...I know there's something very wrong with him..player, married, live-in girlfriend...crazy...etc..I don't know...I don;t even have his cell phone number because he keeps telling me that he's had to have the number changed twice so I can only call him at work..he's off Friday and Sat and I have never once heard from him or seen him..am I an ******* or what.....thank you all for slamming some sense into me...Ihave been alone for a long time..and I think a senseof urgency is hitting me ....because this I seem to always meet deceitful men online...the loneliness is killing me..of course I would never tell any of them that...I am so glad I found this site...Good night all PEACE!

He is already in a relationship from what you described. Visit him at work but not go home with him? HMMMMMMM! Whats that all ABOUT!!

All crazy men are very clever. They feel they have to act all psycho because they think it'll be the only way to get who or what they want. In this case, maybe YOU should act all psycho, to put him off. Maybe ring him when he's at work, every half an hour and tell him "you love him", turn up unexpectedly to his home, tell him you're ready to move in cos "you move quickly like that", etc.
. True though. I gotta say

The little voice in your head says nut job? .... Listen to it!