There is only one person that can answer this question.

Just because you tell someone you love them does not mean you have to take on their children. I am not asking him to marry me. Just be honest and make some kind of commitment. Which would mean not to sleep with other women while we are together. And I also think that if someone really cares for you it should not matter if you have kids. But thats just how I am. Guess there is not that many decent people out there.

AG, You gotta get out this relationship now. You both deserve better. He may not be intentionally using you, but he does NOT love you the way you deserve. The longer you are with him, the harder it will be. Make it a clean break w/ absolutely no contact!

Good Luck!
Alexia

Are we still having this conversation?


Sorry, just throwing a little tough love ya way.

WHY ARE YOU TELL THIS WOMAN WHAT CHOICE SHE SHOULD MAKE WHEN YOU DONT KNOW DA MALES PART OF THE STORY LET HER MAKE HER ON DISCISION

Because were older and wiser!!!!

I know angel I need to let him go. Its just hard. I am going to do it though.

let him go focus on me sexy. jk i know its hard to let go but its better to move on to bigger n better things sweetie.!!!!

Artist, I wasn't suggesting you let him go sweetie. I was suggesting you step back and let him miss you a little and hopefully realize he needs you in his life.

Sometimes people don't appreciate what they have until it's gone.

Sorry, Angelsing, I disagree. It is unwise to play with other peoples emotions and that is a type of emotional blackmail. I realize that you most likely did not mean it that way at all, but it is. Your heart is definetly in the right place though!

Artist_girl, you deserve someone who can love you and love you now - not maybe 2 mo, 5yrs, possible down the road, etc.


Artist_girl, before you take any advise from theplayer89, I recommend you read some of his others post. It appears that he has very LOW opinion of women to begin with.

Theplayer, this is about someone who cannot make a commitment after 2 YEARS! I think she has given him plenty of TIME!

You know telling her to walk away when she clearly loves this man is easier said than done, especially after 2 long years. But by distancing herself from him, she gives herself a chance to gradually get over him, while it gives him a chance to realize whether or not he wants her in his life. Either way, she is removed from the situation and that's a start.

I see what you are trying to say, Angelsing, but that will only makes harder. Either it will make getting over him that much more tougher (because she is not truly letting him go) or she will fall into the rebound affect and wind up back in a relationship with him where he still does not know for certain if he loves her. From her description previously, she has tried that approach and it kept back firing on her. It been 2 years. She needs a clean break, but I'm not claiming that it will be easy!

I guess on this subject, we will have to simply agree to disagree. I will say this. It always nice to discuss things w/ you. You are a very caring person!

Awh thanks Alexia.

I guess it's the difference between going cold turkey and slowly weaning. If she keeps it in her mind that she's walking away not because she wants to, but because she has to, she will keep walking, and never look back if he dosen't show signs that he is willing to commit.

She has got to change her behavior and demeanor, and stop going back too soon, when she knows in her heart, he's going to do the same thing to her again.

I was just hoping that he would realize while she was gone, that maybe he loves her too.

I think it is time to move on. Two years is plenty of time for anyone. especially if ya'll have spent a lot of time together.. It sounds like you are his fall back or safety net girl... Sorry.

I think you should find the one you want and that gives you what you deserve. IMHO

sounds like the guy i broke up with two years ago.
You in Arizona??

Yep- two years was plenty of time to know if you love someone.
Both of you need to go on with your lives.
Its obviouse your not meant to be together, the longer you hold on the harder it will be... Don't waste your life and time
waiting on something that won't happen. Only to look back and
say oh my goodness- I wasted all this time in my life.
Goodluck to you...

Angelsing, I will say this. I think it is fair to assume that neither you or I think this bloke is a cad per se, but caught up in the situation as much as artist_girl is.


I do not think that he is deliberately misleading her or using her. He could be using her, but not necessarily. I do think it is important to give him the benefit of the doubt in this situation. Besides, artist_girl has not indicated anything that would give me the impression that he is definitely using beyond reasonable doubt.


Just because they are both caught up in this situation, it doesn't lessen the feelings that they both have for each other, but it's a formula for suffering and potential resentment down the road for both of them. What ever artist decides, cold turkey or slowly distancing, I truly hope the best for her and him.

WHOA!!! maybe he is just the noncommiting type. I am a woman and was afraid of the big "M" word.
So much negativity towards the dude. He could be a pretty decent guy!!!

i agree with fineporcelin only you can decide what you should do...i dont know your man so i cant not judge him for what he does..i mean put it like this you been with him for 2 years he must make you happy. BUT one small thing you want to end it? there has to be more reasons why you feel that way. ONLY you can make the discison. why ask for a opinon here when people are being biased and dont know anything about the guy to say "leave him" take all the qualitys he has and take da qualitys of a new guy.

True dat Alexia girl, true dat.
Relationships are no joke and are not easy. I'm kind of enjoying being single, and free of man drama.