Which does the world prefer...

"I am not interested in you romantically." (a direct and honest answer that most know regardless of what people "don't know" with someone new)

or

"You are an amazing person, babe. You deserve better than me but let's be friends." (the cop out response most utter when posed with someone who's interested in them more than they are, a classic lead on statement to boot.)

Now...you started to like this person for various reasons, its obvious they aren't returning the feelings. Which is better suited for you? The first one IMO. It hurts for 5 minutes (even less sometimes) but the good news is we do move on. Rejection hurts, but rejected truth hurts much less than being led on and hurt in little ways. I'd rather be friends with someone who wants this from the start then fall for someone who led me to think there was more than his little mind could spew out. I mean, I wanna know if the dude will die in my novel basically.

So...Which is it? Spare your feelings or the truth that cuts to the chase?

Honesty hurts but they will recover. It is best in my opinion too.

As a rejectee, I prefer:
"I am not interested in you romantically."

As a rejector i prefer:
"You are an amazing person, and you deserve better than me. But let's not stay friends."

Usually the golden middle rule is applied by me and others, who say "" or else we say "Sorry, not interested. I wish you the best of luck in finding a loving partner. Please don't write any more."

Most or rather all of my rejectors don't say "please don't write any more", but the first two parts are always there.

I usually don't wish them good luck in finding a partner, but I do say "please don't write any more."

KISS is the single best method here, you just need to take a deep breath and jump into wording the rejection note.

Wishy washy is the second worst, and then straight leading down the garden path is the worst. Some people use these methods as break-ups, or as rejections, believe me, on other sites for sure. I haven't asked anyone out on this site for years, except one really hot babe, who keeps giving me a straightforward answer of " ", that is, no comment, no direct response to my asking.

I would Always prefer.....

The mule kick me right between the eyes from the....

Get Go.....and get it over with!!!

JMO

I prefer the second one, lol.

I think people need that little bit of hope to help them move on and later get over it. But just a little bit, if it is the end of something. If it is stopping something that wasn't, the get lost approach is better.

And you call yourself a Scorpio...

You picked #2 huh? That's a load of chit yanno

I prefer honesty with compassion

Well we are a lil proud right? Lol. Nothing wrong with a little compliment here and there.

Here is what guys tell me, your pretty, you're talented, your pushy, your smart, lol. But let's give it awhile and see where things go. However, I have 3 Ninos so my time is limited

Truth, once I get over my hurt feelings, it's all good.

I would perferr the truth.

Hmmm, I need to get me a mule....

Hello everybody,

I am Jenny. I am new here. I just got out of a wonderful relationship. We broke up and I really need some help cause I miss him dearly but I cant go back to him. So I am here hoping that my heart will understand that I want to move on. I am here just to talk and make friends. I am not looking for a guy right now cause you know, I need some time to get over my past relationship. So, hi all :)

Last night I google-d "How to forget a GUY",....There were some good advice up there but I just need to let it all out.

Anyway, I am so sorry if I said something offensive or if I am to boring. Thanks for taking your time to read this :)

I would rather hear the truth, so I can move on.

I actually like the fact you have such smooth, even skin. And your hair looks fantastic.

And let's not go into the shades... they make you look like "rocking she-rock I-ching red-hott llava rock".

Maybe you should have a pic of your personality posted as well? I don't like "pushy", though. Or maybe not that much. Or maybe I really like "pushy" if you are game for me.

Hi, Jenny, welcome to the wagon.

If you miss him so badly, go back to him. I know you said you can't but yes, you can. Think like you are thomas, the engine, not some doper, the one Nancy Raegan said to say "just say no" to say to.

So if he won't come back to you... coz he's a muslim or else he is from Arkansas and he has to marry his own sister (at a gunshot wedding), don't lose heart, please, be a brave little princess and tough it out.

Only use the crack cocaine when you think you really can't go on any more even a step.

Wow,

First of all, THANK YOU so much for your reply. So you are saying I should be brave and don't give up. What you said made me really happy. I don't want to give up and I do miss him so I don't need nobody. I almost text-ed him this morning. But I couldn't,...I remembered both me and him tried so hard to keep our relationship and we failed million times.

So, I think I should give him some time?,..I will wait two more weeks and if hasn't contacted me by that time I will make my last move, which is to tell him I still love him and miss him so much.


Thank you again! I loved how encouraging your reply was. You gave me hope :)

Being honest is what works best for me. I am not a friggen mind reader so if I did something wrong or he just wants out thats all he has to say. MY life will go on either way though.

You are definitely most welcome to my advice. I'll give you 20% off next week, if you buy this:

I used to have gf like that. She cheated on me; I cheated on her; we split up millions of times and went back together millions of times.

She was sweet and adorable, but hard to get along with, and I was handsome and young, and smart, but hard to get along with.

We were like fertile soil and wheat, like water and a thirsty throat, like a much-need toilet bowl and a lot of urge to use it. She was sweetness, she was very attractive, she was smart, she loved my jokes, and she was a lousy cook but she paid when we ate out.

We were both poor, and when the going was good, it was heaven, when the going got rough, I coocooned out of the relationship.

The original smooth sailing only lasted two years, then the rocky road started, and yet we could not be without each other. It was magic.

So (------------HERE IS THE PART I WOULD LIKE YOU TO CONSIDER) the upshot was that we decided we are not for each other on a constant, committed basis, we may not even have been in what they call "true love", but we certainly hung on each other for lifelines of sex, love, intellect, spiritual connectedness. Only "love" was missing, god only knows why. Oh, and we were both gorgeous to look at, and awsome in bed. (This started like 30 years ago from today.)

There were talks, into the late night... we had week ends during which we were never dressed for a second and spend the hours round the clock screwing, eating, talking, dazing, chilling, and the cycle would repeat itself.

Neither of us used drugs or drank. I smoked. I had another bad habit, I used to enjoy picking the toe jam from between the toes just before sex. But she was so entrhalled with me, and she was sooo looking forward to her orgasms, that she did not mind at all. Toe jam and torpedoes, all be damned.

Oh, and we both hated the touch, feel, and wetness of semen.

What we decided about four years into the relationship that we must not push to make the impossible happen; we must not pretend we can do fidelity and standing each other for years or even months at end; but we created an understanding, that we would never leave each other, because we are addicted to each other. In more than one way.

What I mean to say that would apply to you is not to want what you can't have, but have what you can, and not feel guilty about the parts that are missing.

Go with your boy, and try to agree that for whatever reason you can't be together and you can't be apart, (if that is indeed the truth) and you must work with that, instead at aiming at marriage and a little house with a white picket fence with an old apple tree in the back, and kids playign in the yard.

Some things work for mostly everybody, but some people are so unique, that trying to mold themselves into the mold of the fold, is not possible for them. These maverick relationships happen, and the couple must not feel shame or guilt or inadequacy becasue they can't do the mortgage and kids routine.

If you accept what you can do, and what you can't; if you build your life and your relationships with your limitations in sight, then fine, otherwise sometimes, often, if you want to try something that you arleady know won't work, but you are optimistic, you will encounter failure.

The fact the boy and you are not together now or you can't go back to him IN THE CONVENTIONAL SENSE is not failure. Failure will be if you can't go back to him in your own way, which is acceptable to him and to you, and it makes both of you happy.