I'm 50 divorced, and have dated several women within 5 to 10 years of my age group in the last seven years. After all these gals I have yet to land a relationship. They tell me I'm sexy, smart...blah blah...we even date for several months sometimes, but nothing ever advances. I thought at my age women would be ready to settle down. What's the deal?

Am I doing something wrong?

Maybe bad experiences put them off. Or they weren't as ready as they first thought.

When the right person comes along, then it will work out. It may be these women didn't feel the same as you. I think the older we get, the more discerned we become. I know i have always been 'marriage type' of person, but after some horrible experiences... I think I learned to go slower and to really get to know someone.

No, its not you. I have had the same problems with men my age. Most are put off relationships because of a divorce they went through. So, its not just the women that don't want relationships anymore.

I am going to give an odd answer.

Yes your doing something wrong. Hold on, don't yell at me yet.

When I use to ask is there something wrong with me, I guess I was assumIng I could have been doing it all right. Ok this may not be the direction you where asking but just think it through. No one has it down. We all fall short in lots of ways. We spend so much time trying to be it all we fail to evaluate what we could change and improve on.

So having said this, no its not your fault. The girls fall short too. I look for gals that are not trying to perfect anymore and are actively working on improving who they are and I have stopped pretending I have arrived and don't date the gals looking for the perfect man. . It' s amazing how much fun those dates are. Even when it's just dinner or a ferry ride or just coffee. yes actual events from being here.

Well, I am a woman and I do not make my decisions on a timeline. Several months and nothing moves forward. Hummm.

I am ready to date and that means go out to events or dinner or movies or whatever. I am also ready to commit, yet I want to make that decision of who I commit to, not a timeline of...we went on three dates and its time to move to the next step. This is just me and how I think.

You're impatient...Quite simply put.

S*** takes time, patience, and willingness to build upon what you have...No one can snap their fingers and be committed into a relationship. You're hoping for a snap decision, and they are looking for someone willing to put in the work, work you are not willing to put in apparently.

can't phrase it any better - gone are the days of marrying for the sake of it

it's gotta be the real thing whether he's a smart sexy or a sweaty boxer makes no never mind so long as it's Lurve

I find it intriguing that you have been unable to find a woman to commit. I have seen your posts & you come across as a man who knows who he is & what he wants. I just think the issue lies with the women. You have much to offer the right woman for you.

It's possible that single women in your age range are much more stable and established which is a good thing but it also can mean that they value their independence and may wish to spend a much longer period of time dating casually before settling down into a more committed relationship with a presumption of exclusivity.

Apologies for stating the obvious but a lot of people come out of a relationship with baggage and it can take a little time to let down our guard and begin to trust again.

In addition to this, a lot of women have been taking care of our households and families by ourselves and have to re-learn how to share. It takes time, patience and perseverance. Maybe you’re rushing things.

I agree with Nytragirl. In addition, just because those women did not settle with you, doesn't follow that they didn't know what they want. Being in your 50's doesn't mean you should grab the first person who finds you attractive and vice versa.

Everyone's different. I sure as heck would not be in a hurry to pay the State of Washington money to give me a paper saying I am committed to someone. If the relationship is good ..then enjoy it!

No, you're not doing anything wrong, but times have changed!! Women are much more independent now Charles, they have less need for financial security so they can take their time, be more selective, less willing to settle...Also, at your age (and mine) it's not about having children, starting a life together, building security together...It's about "how will this relationship affect my life, will it enhance it"....It's a different ballgame now...Men used to have the advantage, those days are gone...It a more level playing field...Nytragirl is right on the money....

You know you bring up a good point. I wonder if that is also part of the reason that men don't want a relationship as they no longer have the advantage. Could it be they are pissed off because they no longer have control of the relationship? Hmm, something to ponder; don't you think?

What do you mean you date for several months, but nothing advances? Are you expecting marriage?

that may be true of some men but certainly it is not true of all men - I doubt even the majority,

but as you have raised the possibility I'd say the idea is a good litmus test of a man's inclination to be controlling

neither partner, man nor woman, "controls" the relationship. it's a partnership. but if a person of either gender gets "pissed off" about who is controlling the relationship I'd say it's a sign of not only control issues but poor communication

this, is what i think too... i was always under the impression that the women i like didn't like me, and the ones that liked me, i didn't like... but that is bunk, all it takes is time and being yourself...

I am glad to see you wrote all that i was gonna hide under a rock and say it but was to shy to say it im glad ur gutsy =)
it is true like u said men after ebign miberated had to hold down jobs n raise kids then divorses put them in alot of situations and the money and house and the security and labor used to be the man alot now a days isnt much left for men asd women have to do all those things so id put to help them with there goals or compliments or things that make them feel more lady like and number one to you .
but everyone is differnt and you are probably doign things right just there nto ready to commit .

shrugs (just thoughts)