Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Treat em mean, keep em keen!
ShugahBee Joined Mon 07/23/12 Posts: 241	Tue 09/04/12 10:32 PM Edited by ShugahBee on Tue 09/04/12 10:47 PM
When two are together yes i would bend over backwards to help them feel better in any insecuritys they may have,caring for someone isnt just taking the good things and ignoring the bad things you dont like on a person. When jealosy arises i would talk to the other person and wish they woudl the same for me as well if that situation arised. Arguing and being mean Life coins being depleted by moments you cant get back so i belive in communication through the good and bad to be upfront and honest to deal with situations as life has its roller coaster rides at times.

PacificStar48 Joined Tue 10/02/07 Posts: 13764	Tue 09/04/12 11:01 PM
I always took it as a matter of personal self respect not to do things that would suggest to my mate, or anyone else that would notice, that I was doing something they should feel jealouse about. How hard is it to keep yourself out of another's personal space or them yours? People know when they are flirting and you just don't do it.

ShugahBee Joined Mon 07/23/12 Posts: 241	Tue 09/04/12 11:33 PM
I always took it as a matter of personal self respect not to do things that would suggest to my mate, or anyone else that would notice, that I was doing something they should feel jealouse about. How hard is it to keep yourself out of another's personal space or them yours? People know when they are flirting and you just don't do it. Exactly

blueeyes2000 Joined Thu 11/08/07 Posts: 1517	Wed 09/05/12 04:16 AM
When you are in a relationship, do you work to protect it so as to keep your partner feeling 'safe and secure' in your love? If so what would you say or do when insecurity or jealousy raises it's head? I wouldn't say I 'work'. If it's a healthy relationship, the other person will already feel safe and secure. If a situation arises where insecurity or jealousy is felt, I think communication is the best way to handle it, with honesty. I have seen some couples who seem to thrive on jealousy though. I think in some twisted way, they think, by their partner showing jealousy, that's how they show they care. So they deliberately go into situations, and purposely do/say things to make their partner jealous. It is very immature, and not at all a showing of love though.

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Wed 09/05/12 04:32 AM
Ha! I wonder if we know the same crazy couples. Too much drama for me. It is exhausting to be near lol.

Hikerjohn Joined Sun 08/19/12 Posts: 1028	Wed 09/05/12 05:08 AM
I always took it as a matter of personal self respect not to do things that would suggest to my mate, or anyone else that would notice, that I was doing something they should feel jealouse about. How hard is it to keep yourself out of another's personal space or them yours? People know when they are flirting and you just don't do it. I was quite flirty. So was my father and I realized I acted just like him. I thought it was normal. But what I didn't realize is what it was doing to other people. It wasn't until I understood what it did to others did I start to work on being sincere. But like all habits. It takes work to stop.

blueeyes2000 Joined Thu 11/08/07 Posts: 1517	Wed 09/05/12 05:40 AM
Ha! I wonder if we know the same crazy couples. Too much drama for me. It is exhausting to be near lol. That it is!

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Wed 09/05/12 05:42 AM
The flip side to not making your SO feel safe and secure is you loose them to one who is able to provide that security. Everybody wants to be truly loved and not left in doubt.

blueeyes2000 Joined Thu 11/08/07 Posts: 1517	Wed 09/05/12 05:44 AM
I always took it as a matter of personal self respect not to do things that would suggest to my mate, or anyone else that would notice, that I was doing something they should feel jealouse about. How hard is it to keep yourself out of another's personal space or them yours? People know when they are flirting and you just don't do it. I was quite flirty. So was my father and I realized I acted just like him. I thought it was normal. But what I didn't realize is what it was doing to other people. It wasn't until I understood what it did to others did I start to work on being sincere. But like all habits. It takes work to stop. It can be hurtful sometimes, good luck!

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Wed 09/05/12 08:53 AM
When you are in a relationship, do you work to protect it so as to keep your partner feeling 'safe and secure' in your love? If so what would you say or do when insecurity or jealousy raises it's head? I tell them to grow up. I have no tolerance for insecurity or jealousy. That just says they don't trust me and if they don't trust me; we don't have a relationship.

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Wed 09/05/12 12:52 PM
When you like people, male and female, and enjoy interacting with them, the S0 can mistake that for more than what it is. I think it is their issue. But if you love them you protect the relationship by building more trust in whatever form that takes.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Wed 09/05/12 01:49 PM
When you like people, male and female, and enjoy interacting with them, the S0 can mistake that for more than what it is. I think it is their issue. But if you love them you protect the relationship by building more trust in whatever form that takes. Guess I am no good at this relationship thing as I simply don't have the time to keep reassuring the person that they have nothing to be jealous of. I would think for me being 52, below average body and looks that any guy that did date me would be logical in thinking that he has nothing to be insecure or jealous over. Men my age normally would hit on younger women anyways so nothing to worry about in my case.

Hikerjohn Joined Sun 08/19/12 Posts: 1028	Wed 09/05/12 04:45 PM
I always took it as a matter of personal self respect not to do things that would suggest to my mate, or anyone else that would notice, that I was doing something they should feel jealouse about. How hard is it to keep yourself out of another's personal space or them yours? People know when they are flirting and you just don't do it. I was quite flirty. So was my father and I realized I acted just like him. I thought it was normal. But what I didn't realize is what it was doing to other people. It wasn't until I understood what it did to others did I start to work on being sincere. But like all habits. It takes work to stop. It can be hurtful sometimes, good luck! Your right that was the point. And I am very much more aware of others feelings. But that's going back to why older men are better.

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Wed 09/05/12 05:07 PM
Eh. Those moments where she is feeling not so secure about Moi's love, I send her some flowers with a card that reads, "Hey baby. These flowers are a reminder that I love you. Oh yeah...you'll be receiving a box from Victoria's Secret. Please be sure to put the gift on and show me how much you love me". Dude they catch on after awhile. Every time you f!ck up you bring home flowers. Then one time you bring home flowers it sets her off and she beats you over the head with the flowers. That's exactly why I don't ever buy roses. I buy carnations. They don't have thorns.......... Why do women have to be so dern smart?

blueeyes2000 Joined Thu 11/08/07 Posts: 1517	Wed 09/05/12 05:34 PM
I always took it as a matter of personal self respect not to do things that would suggest to my mate, or anyone else that would notice, that I was doing something they should feel jealouse about. How hard is it to keep yourself out of another's personal space or them yours? People know when they are flirting and you just don't do it. I was quite flirty. So was my father and I realized I acted just like him. I thought it was normal. But what I didn't realize is what it was doing to other people. It wasn't until I understood what it did to others did I start to work on being sincere. But like all habits. It takes work to stop. It can be hurtful sometimes, good luck! Your right that was the point. And I am very much more aware of others feelings. But that's going back to why older men are better.

Jtevans Joined Fri 08/10/07 Posts: 30654	Wed 09/05/12 05:53 PM
i have learned that saying "sir pimp-alot wants something to eat.so get in that kitchen woman!" doesn't keep them around very long

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Wed 09/05/12 06:04 PM
i have learned that saying "sir pimp-alot wants something to eat.so get in that kitchen woman!" doesn't keep them around very long lol, life is about learning.

pyxxie13 Joined Wed 09/28/11 Posts: 3835	Thu 09/06/12 07:53 PM
I am a firm believer that if you do not have trust ..you don't have anything.

Bowyer62 Joined Tue 09/04/12 Posts: 4	Thu 09/06/12 09:34 PM
Hi, I'm new here and this is my first post. I feel that if there is jealousy, at least one of the two has a problem. Speaking strictly from my own side, she would never have a reason to be jealous if I considered myself to be in a relationship. If I'm jealous, it's time to end the relationship because she won't commit, or because I need to grow up some more.

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Thu 09/06/12 10:30 PM
I've often mistaken a guy doing things to make me jealous, and thought he actually meant it. Of course he "didn't mean it", but I'm still not easily swayed into anything. <---Miss Stubborn.