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Topic: "Real men" and "real women!"
msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 08/25/12 04:08 PM
How would you define a "real man" or a "real woman?" Just curious...Do you have a lot of expectations when it comes to gender roles? gender roles a man should be male and mature(emotionally, intellectually) a woman should be male and mature (emotionally, intellectually) both should be CAPABLE of providing, nurturing, protecting, supporting each other and their children both should COMPLIMENT Each other in the relationship so the above responsibilities are met a GENTLEMAN, is preferred, and his role is to be particularly strong in the areas of providing, protecting, and supporting(emotionally, intellectually), taking care to cherish his lady with little gestures like opening doors and pulling out chairs a LADY, has the role of being particularly strong in the areas of 'quiet' strength and confidence, nurturing, and supporting (emotionally, intellectually) her partner and children, taking care to honor and respect her man with little gestures like special meals, back rubs, and ego stroking mixed with honest constructive criticism ,,,,

Ghostrider2u Joined Thu 05/17/07 Posts: 6953	Sat 08/25/12 04:14 PM
How would you define a "real man" or a "real woman?" Just curious...Do you have a lot of expectations when it comes to gender roles? gender roles a man should be male and mature(emotionally, intellectually) a woman should be male and mature (emotionally, intellectually) both should be CAPABLE of providing, nurturing, protecting, supporting each other and their children both should COMPLIMENT Each other in the relationship so the above responsibilities are met a GENTLEMAN, is preferred, and his role is to be particularly strong in the areas of providing, protecting, and supporting(emotionally, intellectually), taking care to cherish his lady with little gestures like opening doors and pulling out chairs a LADY, has the role of being particularly strong in the areas of 'quiet' strength and confidence, nurturing, and supporting (emotionally, intellectually) her partner and children, taking care to honor and respect her man with little gestures like special meals, back rubs, and ego stroking mixed with honest constructive criticism ,,,, Ummmmmmm.................. I realize its a typo......but..... I prefer my woman to be..."FEMALE" and mature..... Thank you very much...... (this has been a public forum service announcement)

blueeyes2000 Joined Thu 11/08/07 Posts: 1517	Sat 08/25/12 04:23 PM Edited by blueeyes2000 on Sat 08/25/12 04:24 PM
A Real Woman???? She is who she is, regardless of what anyone thinks. She has an opinion, based on knowledge and understanding. She respects and has compassion for those who deserve it. She has a wicked sense of humor and a sharp quick wit. She has a mind that makes a man think. She commands respect because she offers it. She is Beautiful inside, which only makes her outside Beauty Glow!! She makes her own way in life, yet is able to share with her Man. She expects and requires her man to make his own way and share as well. She Brings a Smile to the face of all she comes in contact with. She will not, however hesitate to.....tell you like it is!!!! This is my definition of a real Woman!!!! You know who you are...... She's one lucky woman, whoever she is, to get such a good description like that!

LiLBLACKMAGiC Joined Sun 05/09/10 Posts: 14787	Sat 08/25/12 04:24 PM
How would you define a "real man" or a "real woman?" Just curious...Do you have a lot of expectations when it comes to gender roles? My Laughing emoticon. resulted from question by Op

LiLBLACKMAGiC Joined Sun 05/09/10 Posts: 14787	Sat 08/25/12 04:27 PM
How would you define a "real man" or a "real woman?" Just curious...Do you have a lot of expectations when it comes to gender roles? My Laughing emoticon. resulted from question by Op and that is How I responded..

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Sun 08/26/12 02:13 AM
Show me a woman who says that she want a real man, and I will show you a woman who really wants one of those fictional men described in Harlequin romance novels. I consider it an insult for a woman to imply that a man is not a real man unless he meets her definition of the ideal man. Totally agree; just I like I think its insulting to me when men think I am not a real woman just because I don't meet what they consider as a real woman. Its why I am still single as men won't accept me for who I am.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Sun 08/26/12 02:16 AM
A Real Woman???? She is who she is, regardless of what anyone thinks. She has an opinion, based on knowledge and understanding. She respects and has compassion for those who deserve it. She has a wicked sense of humor and a sharp quick wit. She has a mind that makes a man think. She commands respect because she offers it. She is Beautiful inside, which only makes her outside Beauty Glow!! She makes her own way in life, yet is able to share with her Man. She expects and requires her man to make his own way and share as well. She Brings a Smile to the face of all she comes in contact with. She will not, however hesitate to.....tell you like it is!!!! This is my definition of a real Woman!!!! You know who you are...... OBVIOUSLY... you are talking about me!!! Well he sure as heck wasn't talking about me. Too many expectations to live up to.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Sun 08/26/12 02:27 AM
navygirl...I agree with you! I don't want to be stuck in a corner or a box either!...Luckily I found a man who didn't want to be stuck in a box either. And we were happily married for decades. (Until he passed away.)...Now it feels weird to be approached by men (at times) who expect me to play out a role. It's just not me at all!...Congratulations for all you have accomplished in your life on your own! Thanks Greeneyes. Sounds like you had a great guy. Men like that are indeed rare to meet and of course the ones I do meet like that are married. Personally; doing things for myself gives me a great sense of accomplishment. I am glad to hear that there are women like you out there that won't play out a role. I respect you for that. Thanks...What were your parents like? (Just curious!)..I grew-up in the 50's and 60's. Back then most of my friends lived in traditional households. But my parents were a little different...My Dad enjoyed cooking and he and my Mom had fun inventing new recipes together. My Dad had a "hand" in everything and so did my Mom. They didn't play-out traditional roles...I was an only child and I always helped my Dad do repair work on our cars or plumbing or other "fix-it" jobs around the house. (My Mom pitched-in and did what was needed too!) We all pulled together to get things "done."...Nobody called me "sweetie pie" names just because I was a girl. My Dad called me "smart" or "sharp" or "on the ball" when I came up with ideas or solutions to problems etc. (He complimented my Mom when she came up with good ideas too.)...My parents expected me to go out and make my "mark" on the world. They wanted me to wait to get married and have kids...Anyway I was definitely raised differently than other girls who grew-up in my era. How about you? Thanks for your responses! My parents were horrible. My dad said I was useless, wouldn't amount to anything, and wished he had drowned me at birth. I was a straight A student but that wasn't good enough for him; as well my mom was just as bad. Well, I could go on and on but I think you get the jest of how bad my childhood was. They wanted me to get married and have kids right after high school but I did not want that. I have no regrets of how I lived my life as the military gave me purpose; a reason to live. Honestly; in civilian life; I feel useless so I am glad I can still be a part of the military bands both playng and teaching. I am happy to hear your parents gave you encouragement to make your mark on the world as kids certainly shoud be getting lots of encouragement. I think this is why I encourage kids that I teach not to get down on themselves when they are struggling with their music as I know they are trying their best.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 08/26/12 06:34 AM
How would you define a "real man" or a "real woman?" Just curious...Do you have a lot of expectations when it comes to gender roles? gender roles a man should be male and mature(emotionally, intellectually) a woman should be male and mature (emotionally, intellectually) both should be CAPABLE of providing, nurturing, protecting, supporting each other and their children both should COMPLIMENT Each other in the relationship so the above responsibilities are met a GENTLEMAN, is preferred, and his role is to be particularly strong in the areas of providing, protecting, and supporting(emotionally, intellectually), taking care to cherish his lady with little gestures like opening doors and pulling out chairs a LADY, has the role of being particularly strong in the areas of 'quiet' strength and confidence, nurturing, and supporting (emotionally, intellectually) her partner and children, taking care to honor and respect her man with little gestures like special meals, back rubs, and ego stroking mixed with honest constructive criticism ,,,, Ummmmmmm.................. I realize its a typo......but..... I prefer my woman to be..."FEMALE" and mature..... Thank you very much...... (this has been a public forum service announcement) correction noted,,lol yep, a biologically mature FEMALE human, is referred to as a woman an emotionally and intellectually mature and responsible FEMALE human is referred to as a REAL WOMAN,,,,,

Backwardsam Joined Wed 08/22/12 Posts: 9	Sun 08/26/12 07:11 AM
A "real man" and "real Woman" is only as someone perceives it. One person might see a real woman being a home body with traditional values and someone else sees her as a party animal with tatoos. Everyone is "real" in someones eyes, you just have to find the match that fits you.

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Sun 08/26/12 08:17 AM
navygirl...I'm sorry that your childhood wasn't the best. Good that you found support and recognition in the military...My husband was the youngest of 5 brothers and he felt like a "misfit" in his family a lot.. He joined the Air Force at a young age and became a firefighter...Military life wasn't perfect but all in all he received more recognition in the fire department than he ever got from his family...So I can relate to your story and background. My parents and family had praise and admiration for my husband. He wasn't a "misfit" in my family! He was one of us!...I think it's just a matter of finding our "own kind!" Wish it was easier!.. Sometimes it's like hunting for a "needle" in a "haystack." Don't you think? But there really are some people like us out there!

Ras427 Joined Wed 08/08/12 Posts: 1516	Sun 08/26/12 08:28 AM
How would you define a "real man" or a "real woman?" Just curious...Do you have a lot of expectations when it comes to gender roles? Great question, I pondered for awhile, I guess a real man or woman is submission to self and the laws of rightousness and truth. Despite sexuallity. The real man or womans realness (if thats a word) will manefest when one is true. So in essence, a real man or woman must be a true man or woman, submitting to truth.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sun 08/26/12 08:30 AM
Show me a woman who says that she want a real man, and I will show you a woman who really wants one of those fictional men described in Harlequin romance novels. I consider it an insult for a woman to imply that a man is not a real man unless he meets her definition of the ideal man. Keep in mind that everyone will have different definitions of real men and women. We're not all going to fit into everyone's preference.

2fly4datish Joined Wed 08/15/12 Posts: 1	Sun 08/26/12 08:43 AM
Awww.... that. Wassuch a cute story!!!! And oh so true!!! Love a man that commands the room. Without being a pompus a$$ lol

Ras427 Joined Wed 08/08/12 Posts: 1516	Sun 08/26/12 08:43 AM
Show me a woman who says that she want a real man, and I will show you a woman who really wants one of those fictional men described in Harlequin romance novels. I consider it an insult for a woman to imply that a man is not a real man unless he meets her definition of the ideal man. Totally agree; just I like I think its insulting to me when men think I am not a real woman just because I don't meet what they consider as a real woman. Its why I am still single as men won't accept me for who I am. Very interesting, maybe you are a real woman, which is why your single. I dont believe that is a fault. Todays society sets the standard of womanness that in tern defines what men percieve as a real woman or man. The fact the you are single merely suggests that you have clearly defined your sence of self. So in essence those who have not excepted you for who you are, are not looking for a real woman, they are searching for the standard subliminaly imposed on them, thereby "missing" the real woman, not nessesary not eccepting you, many were just chasing the image of the woman.

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Sun 08/26/12 08:50 AM
A "real man" and "real Woman" is only as someone perceives it. One person might see a real woman being a home body with traditional values and someone else sees her as a party animal with tatoos. Everyone is "real" in someones eyes, you just have to find the match that fits you. I totally agree!...I'm definitely not every man's "cup of tea" or "perfect woman!" (Not hardly!)...And every man is not "right" for me either.. I think we need to wait for our near-perfect "match." Don't you? Divorce courts are full of couples who were "bad matches."

Kahurangi Joined Thu 04/26/12 Posts: 1970	Sun 08/26/12 04:03 PM
shrugs...tis all relative http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmiZg7Tt_bY

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Mon 08/27/12 08:22 AM
Show me a woman who says that she want a real man, and I will show you a woman who really wants one of those fictional men described in Harlequin romance novels. I consider it an insult for a woman to imply that a man is not a real man unless he meets her definition of the ideal man. Totally agree; just I like I think its insulting to me when men think I am not a real woman just because I don't meet what they consider as a real woman. Its why I am still single as men won't accept me for who I am. Very interesting, maybe you are a real woman, which is why your single. I dont believe that is a fault. Todays society sets the standard of womanness that in tern defines what men percieve as a real woman or man. The fact the you are single merely suggests that you have clearly defined your sence of self. So in essence those who have not excepted you for who you are, are not looking for a real woman, they are searching for the standard subliminaly imposed on them, thereby "missing" the real woman, not nessesary not eccepting you, many were just chasing the image of the woman. Very well put and that was my thoughts too. My definition of a real man or woman for that matter is that person just be who they are meant to be. We often mention stereotyping on this site when a person says something negative about the opposite sex; I also think its a form of stereotyping when we have have to define a person's role just because of their sex. I don't expect a man to protect me, provide for me, or fix things for me. If he can do those things; then that is fine; if he can't do those things; that is equally fine. To me; that does not make him less of a man because he can't do things that were defined as his role by society.

2KidsMom Joined Tue 09/30/08 Posts: 58206	Mon 08/27/12 08:25 AM
A Real Woman???? She is who she is, regardless of what anyone thinks. She has an opinion, based on knowledge and understanding. She respects and has compassion for those who deserve it. She has a wicked sense of humor and a sharp quick wit. She has a mind that makes a man think. She commands respect because she offers it. She is Beautiful inside, which only makes her outside Beauty Glow!! She makes her own way in life, yet is able to share with her Man. She expects and requires her man to make his own way and share as well. She Brings a Smile to the face of all she comes in contact with. She will not, however hesitate to.....tell you like it is!!!! This is my definition of a real Woman!!!! You know who you are...... This is very well said.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Mon 08/27/12 08:31 AM
navygirl...I'm sorry that your childhood wasn't the best. Good that you found support and recognition in the military...My husband was the youngest of 5 brothers and he felt like a "misfit" in his family a lot.. He joined the Air Force at a young age and became a firefighter...Military life wasn't perfect but all in all he received more recognition in the fire department than he ever got from his family...So I can relate to your story and background. My parents and family had praise and admiration for my husband. He wasn't a "misfit" in my family! He was one of us!...I think it's just a matter of finding our "own kind!" Wish it was easier!.. Sometimes it's like hunting for a "needle" in a "haystack." Don't you think? But there really are some people like us out there! Thanks but far as I am concerned my childhood is the past and I don't dwell on it. I have always questioned why I wasn't allowed to do things because I was a woman or why a guy can't do things because he is a guy. It never made sense to me why people had these expectations merely based on our sex. I knew a man that was awesome at knitting. He served in the Navy with me and I was jealous how he would knit beautiful things. I never for once thought him less of a man and admired him for stepping out of the box. The guys on ship never teased him or picked on him because of this. They had the maturity to realize that this never took away from him being a man. I agree though trying to find that one open-minded person that accepts you for who you are and doesn't try to make you play into a role is indeed a rare and treasured gift that I know I will never find.