Karen...

Exactly. I want to have it all this time. I kissed him, it was not that bad, not that great either. Do you know the feeling you get, I generally feel "drunk", that's how I know if it will work or not.....as stupid as that sounds. I just want to have that feeling where....he takes my breathe away. I know I just don't have that with Dan.

Glad you brought this up, Puffins.

I feel after a first date, you might not know for sure that you want to go out again, but if you have no intentions of going out again, you know that. If someone knows there's no way they're going out with me again, I'd feel a lot better if they tell me then instead of telling me to call or email, and they don't answer the phone or respond to the email. That makes me feel worse than if I'm told at the end of the date that there won't be a 2nd date.

Puffins, jst date him for ****s & giggles. Let him know it is just for friends or good times. Long as your truthful, no foul done. Better than setting home till you find smoething better.

knox...

What's sad is that he was a "nice guy". I would never want to hurt him intentionally. Although the emails I've gotten, he told me that he has not felt that good in years, I just didn't feel it after kissing him.

I understand, Puffins, I'm just speaking for me. I went on a date a few weeks ago, and we sat in the restaurant and talked for 3 straight hours. We made plans to go out again that weekend, and she gave me a time to call her the next day. The calls went unanswered, the emails went unanswered, and I never heard from her again. I met her on another dating site, and noticed she logged in yesterday, so nothing happened to her. Needless to say, I was hurt, mainly because I thought we'd hit it off really well. If she has told me at the end of the date she didn't want to see me again, at least I would've respected her honesty. But there's no worse feeling in the dating world than waiting for a call that isn't coming.

Not settling doesn't mean that you can't have an active social life, and it doesn't mean that going out with this guy again will be a waste of time. You may not have felt sparks on your first date, but there's nothing saying that when you get to know him a bit that you won't be smitten. Or, maybe not. But at least you'll know for certain one way or the other. And, so early in the dating process, he certainly should have no delusions that this is necessarily a 'forever' thing. If you go out with him casually a couple of times, just let him know where things stand — don't leave him guessing.

Good luck.

How many of you have met someone for the first time and felt sparks instantly? Those feelings are great, but I wouldn't trust them. I'd rather be pleasantly surprised and feel those sparks after I gotten to know the person.

Angel...

That's the whole thing, I've met men where I have had that instant connection with. I just wanted to have that again, does that sound selfish of me?

Puffins, if you don't mind a newbie putting their two sense in lol, go with your gut. It is never wrong. I personally believe in chemistry and if it's not there my gut will tell me.

Puffins, those people are no longer in your life. I know that feeling your talking about all too well, that drunk feeling, oh boy, haven't felt that in a long time.
But guess what, none of those people that made me feel that way are in my life anymore either.
So gues what else, I'm not looking for that feeling any more.
I'm looking for someone who can make me happy most of the time.
I can get drunk on my own

I don't think you're being selfish at all, Puffins. I just think you may be robbing yourself of a potentially _great_ relationship with someone for whom you didn't initially feel a strong spark. Most couples didn't feel 'lust at first sight' — but almost all shares a lot of passion as they got to know one another. The infatuation and strong passionate love lasts approximately six to eight months, after which time the relationship grows into something deeper (or falls apart, depending on compatibility). I'm not saying that you should go without the passionate phase of a relationship, but it isn't always so instantaneous. I'm just concerned that you may be tossing a good guy aside before you have really gotten to know him.

resserts...

Now you have me thinking I might have been too hasty in not wanting to see him again. It's not like I am waiting for something to happen, now I'm not sure if I've given it enough time to find out. He was very sweet when we met one another, just not what I had thought would happen....that's all.

Well, I do enjoy making people think.


But in all seriousness, I think life is a lot more gratifying if we enjoy what comes rather than putting too many expectations on what we think should happen. There are certainly things that are deal-breakers, but otherwise new and unique experiences are what make the journey worth traveling.

Whatever you do, I hope it all works out for the best.

To me...things should not be this difficult. I'm beginning to feel paranoid about making another mistake....that's all

You'll figure it out. Just don't think too much about it. If nothing develops, so be it. If something does, it may be great. Just don't obsess over it and you'll be fine.