being raised (gratefully) with 'old school' parents I see a rise in people choosing not to spank and I dont think spanking is the only way for every child is different

that being said, I do think spanking is a valid discipline for many families because every family is different,,,I found the following article interesting as I have always thought the lazy attempt to just label spanking as abusive or beating was illogical and only backed up by so called 'studies' about how it affects children(Supposedly)

the article can be found here

http://voices.yahoo.com/child-corporal-punishment-why-anti-spanking-studies-11164358.html?cat=25

As the author of the linked-to commentary pointed out, correlation does not equal causation.

i'm glad for every whipping i got as a kid and i probably deserved more.i think spanking is the right form of discipline.not saying a parent should beat their kid/kids but sometimes spanking is needed!

I was never spanked as a child. Parents can definitely discipline their children without hitting them.

I couldn't spank mine, they were too precious. Fortunately they came out okay.

I was spanked as a child and am not the worst off for it.

all true, every family is different

some chooose to only feed their kids vegetables and fruits and get other 'nutrients' from supplements

that is the BALANCE they chose

some choose to feed their children all four food groups in a BALANCE that they choose


there are many 'right' ways that depend totally upon the family

I personally believe that spanking is, when done with forthought and cause, a viable form of disciplene. It really does not need to be violent or particularly painful to be effective. Definitely does not need to be public or humiliateing. In fact I think it looses it's value if it is; especially in the extreame. Then the spanking is neither a consequence or a deterent but only a fear and hatered generating exchange of power and submission.

I, however do see it as a direct, understandable boundry for children's behavior that they understand much better than some of the verbal battery that parents that don't spank resort too.

They also came out with a megastudy on capital punishment, reviewing the 4 year ban and found that all the studies were flawed and that one can not draw any appropriate conclusion as to whether or not capital punishment is a crime deterrent.

More interesting to me is MsHarmony's apparent obsession with "a little spanking", hmmmmmmm.

There were also links to articles regarding people who seem a little nutty and whether they can be trusted to do non-abusive spanking. I dated a woman who spanked her daughter and I asked her why (to me it was a minor infraction), she said that she was spanked and came out all right. I said to myself- this lady is definitely not all right and dumped her the next day. Who takes their belt off and starts whipping a six year old? I even read an article about a TV preacher who escalated to choking his daughter.

Remember- if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Having 6 munchkins, I found that I smacked some, others I didn't.
Every child is different, they all need discipline of some kind, they all need love.
A smack is very different from a beating.

thank you

although there is no 'absolute' explanation we can give about how much a 'little' is or how much is 'too much',,,each family can definitely define that for themself

just like there is snacking 'sometimes' or a 'little' and snacking 'too much'

or cleaning a little, or cleaning TOO MUCH (OCD)

or spending a little, or spending TOO MUCH

and the list goes on and on,,,,

yet, Im sure noone could define in an absolute number how that is determined,, it doesnt mean it cant be and isnt determined daily,,,

only if you are stupid,,, lol

sorry, but its true

I think the difference is in the BALANCE and I cant stress it enough, children are not a simple forumula, they develop from a BALANCE of needs and wants being met with CONSISTENCY and TRUST being very important to their foundations

If the love and support are there in BALANCE with the dicsipline and encouragement and all the other things involved in child rearing,, the child will be fine and feel both loved and secure

I felt loved, and secure, and trust,, because I had plenty of love and support and COMMUNICATION regarding actions and consequences, I could count on my parents to do what they said they would do,,,whether that meant a promise for a trip to disney or a spanking for certain infringements (Which were also regularly explained/discussed so as to always be giving me a CHOICE of action while knowing full well the consequence of the action)

I received few spankings, because I Was wise enough to understand choices had consequences and to use experiences(spankings included) to make BETTER choices with ultimately BETTER consequences

and because I understood WHY certain infringements, like lying, disrespect, being out past dark, or not responding to what I Was told,, were so serious for our family,,,,

LOL, you know I am messing with you MsHarmony. I can't help it, part of my personality. Socratic method and all that... Say I am curious- do you think the combination of feeling loved and being spanked has generated this obsession with spanking- not that there is anything wrong with that. LOL- maybe I should go back to bed, I am very tired.

I am therefore I think....

NOT I am therefore I hit.

I think we underestimate our children's intelligence
when we think we they NEED to be hit.

I didn't see how I could tell my sons not to hit each other (or other kids) if I spanked (or hit them) myself...I always tried to encourage them to find ways to "talk out" their differences. And I found other ways to discipline them when need be...When my oldest son was around 5 or so he asked me why grown-ups start wars and kill each other. He said that adults tell kids not to "fight" but adults think they can do whatever they want.

I have Raised 4 children and them hearing im getting the wooden spoon usually worked.... I think 2 did get the spoon but I only hit 3 times first being the softest last being the hardest, My Daughter it worked, My red headed one, most like me Just laughed at me when he got it.
I have 3 Adult children with children themselves now,and they use the "Im getting the spoon" It works for them as well as it did me.
I am very Proud of all of them. Well and the 4th child is 5 and never been hit although he does hear "im getting the spoon" alot.....lol

My children fight (obviously since there are 6) but although I teach them that violence is not Ok, I have also taught them to stick up for themselves and others. So if they need to step in and help someone and it means they need to use force, then so be it.

ding ding ding

I think we have a winner!

When my Children fight, One goes upstairs the other get's kicked out & told OK time for you to go Home.....lol

I have no obsession with it at all. IT was a topic started in another thread by someone else which I continued from a more 'scholarly' OP selection.