First, let me say that I am a big fan of modern technology. I recognize the important contributions technological advances have made in our society. From medical break-through to instantaneous global communications, technology is our friend. But….in this age of information, this era of electronics, have we lost the ability to connect with each other? Be it via a Blackberry, an IPhone, or IM, at a time when connectivity is so prevalent in our society, as people we have never been so hopelessly disconnected.

For the record, I am an independent, strong woman, but I truly believe that we were designed, hardwired if you will, to interact, engage, and yes…even cohabitate and co-create with one another. The simple fact is that we need each other. Nothing is more exhilarating than a spirited conversation with someone you respect, as electrifying as passions shared that bring about a union of souls, or as healing as resting in the arms of someone you love when life is at it’s most difficult. No electronic devise or rambling post can fill those basic human needs. And yet, we try to fill the void with gadgets and gismos, hiding behind fake names and false bravado. We play it safe. We have software that will protect us, devices that prevent true access, and maintain “backs-up” in the event of overload or system failure. We play it very, very safe.

I do not discount the fact that people can meet and even engage in preliminary conversations that can open the door to greater things. But I am confident that if we took the time to truly connect with each other, downloads would reduce, and some of us might actually connect with another human being. I am confident that if we learn to use these important tools as a resource, and not the answer itself, we can begin to connect. I have no doubt that if we let human emotion, intellect, chemistry, and yes, even our own frailties and weaknesses comprise the profile that is uniquely “us,” we have taken an important first step. There is risk, no doubt. However, the benefit will be that, without relying on electronic connectivity to help us plug in, we may actually find a few “hot spots” on our own.

Your thoughts????

Maybe, But hot spots these days are bars and Clubs I have been down that road before.

Bars are not my scene either, but you can volunteer in your community, participate in socials at your church, even ask friends to set you up ( YIKES...be VERY sure you are open to that one though!) Maybe, just maybe, the real "hot spot" is your heart...opening that up to others, not matter where you are hanging your hat! ( I know...I'm a mush!)

Just something to think about

Amen to that!

KTF -- I've been doing a lot of thinking about this lately, too. I've been using computers since 1991, and they're great for so many things....technology gives us wonderful tools, and it's always (in my opinion) in our best interests to know how to use those tools and to get the most out of them.

But, yeah, on the other hand, there does seem to be a sort of disconnection on the human-to-human end.

When I was younger, 17, 18, up to about 26 or so, I had two close friends who were like sisters to me, and I could always count on meeting new girls through them. Probably three-fourths of the relationships I have been in, came through that arrangement. And, for the most part, they were fun and frivolous and ever so disposable, but that seemed to work out all right back then.

And then my friends got older, got married, had the 2.4 kids and the overbearing mortgage payment, all that miserable stuff, and now all their formerly available female friends find themselves with 2.4 kids and the identical mortgage payment, blah blah blah.

So I just don't have the option of meeting people through people I know anymore. And I don't have the option of meeting anyone where I live, either. Long story, but I made a bad decision on where to move to after my divorce and I am working on getting out of here, but there are some difficulties.

So I have turned to the internet and dating sites as an alternative. Because I really can't think of any other options.

And I have met 9 people on dating sites, and 8 of them were absolute train wrecks. I would have to rank a couple of those experiences as among the worst in my life; the only one worse yet was being married.

But, then again, it was on a dating site that I met the best girlfriend I ever had. And, had it not been for some outrageous interference from my ex-wife and her family and some from my own "family," I think I would still be with her today.

So I see computers, and the internet, and dating sites as a whole, as tools. Like any tools, these have to be learned; familiarity comes with experience, and sometimes the rules change, too -- but I think, for the most part, a competent user can get some good out of them, even if he/she smashes his/her thumb by accident every now and then.

The "great variable" with dating sites, though -- because you're now dealing with other people and not just statistics or maps or theoretical concepts -- is that different sites seem to have different clienteles. JSH has been a great site for me to meet friends from all over the world, but has been a big zero as a dating site because the locals don't participate and don't answer e-mails. I've been on other sites where I heard from almost no one other than locals (not suitable ones, but locals nonetheless).

So I think there's an additional learning factor involved, and that is in determining, of all the sites that are out there, which ones will meet your own individual needs. That's the stage I'm at right now....

I guess you can never know too much about your tools....

Lex ~ I'm glad you got my point that the internet and dating sites are an important tool....but true connectivity requires a willingness to engage personally. Logistics is certainly an important factor in the dating scene as well, but kudos to you for perservering and putting yourself out there. It's tough, but in the long run is well worth it (if memory serves ayway...)

Happy Hunting, my friend!

I think that is why I cry every time I watch the movie Cherry 2000. She was such a good android. She always seem to have all the right things to say. It wasn't her fault she wasn't made waterproof.

Hi KeepingTheFaith.

Online dating sites connect us with people of similar interests, compatible personalities, etc., but all we see of the other person is (to borrow Plato's analogy) 'shadows on the wall.' We see an aspect of the person, perhaps one that we wouldn't have noticed otherwise even, through online conversations and visits on the telephone, but a relationship needs day-in and day-out interaction.

Long distance relationships rarely work, and almost never work out when that's the way they begin. I've known people to talk for a few weeks online, 'fall in love,' and fly out to meet the other person for a weekend or a week. Then, it's back to typing and talking on the phone. Growing a relationship and truly getting to know someone well enough to determine you want to spend a large chunk of your life with that person is excruciatingly slow, but often people think they really know the person.

If I talk to you online or by phone, you are probably seeing me only when I'm at my best. If I'm having a problem, if I'm frustrated, or if I'm angry, I probably won't be available during those times. There isn't a lot of growth if you only ever see me at my best (and vise versa).

As far as I'm concerned, a dating site works to connect people who live within easy travel distance, but that's about all it's capable of doing. I've used this site primarily as a means of chatting with various people, but not with the intention of getting a date (unless by chance I were to find someone nearby whom I could meet in person).

So, I've taken the long way around to say that I agree with you. Technology is a good thing when it's used wisely, but there aren't that many wise people. To know someone well, you need to see them, pick up on subtle body language, catch the glint in their eye when they talk about something they love, see the tension in their face when they are frustrated, breathe in their pheromones from time to time, and so forth. Two months of dating is more telling of a relationship than two years of phone conversations.

Thanks for the provocative topic.

Too funny Hillfok...you just proved my point about relying on technology a little TO MUCH!!

Resserts - thank you for your insights and thoughtful consideration of the topic. Wasn't really a hit, I guess, but it was my first self-post and something I wanted to share. Nice to meet someone so open and willing to engage....but don't worry...I WILL lighten up!!

Appreciate your thoughts

I can't comment right now; I am on the Burger King site getting Simpsonized.

LOL....a girls gotta have fun!