what a dark world i live in. a lonely secluded life i have created for myself. i dont trust anyone therfor i dont let them
know the real me. the real me is to ****ed up in the head, for me to be my true self around anyone. today is another one
of those days where i dont care if i live or i die, or if i lose everything around me.

my mind is narrowed to the ignorance all around me, and whithin myself. though i do not care what other people think,
my biggerst enemy is my self. i am losing a battle within my head, things that i told my self i would never think of again,
they come back to haunt me. i am no where near perfect, and i would say closer to un-perfect.

i try to act normal, and i put up a good front. but its killing me inside. i cant be this person for too much longer.
i will lose sight of who i really am, and become another mindless drone in this world of political bull****. all the thoughts
i have inside my head are not of a man, but a monster. sometimes i think i should just admit myself to a sanatarium and waste
away like i do anyway,but secluded from the population, and safe from myself. and people will be safe from me.
my madness is all that i need, and all that i care to have. its all i can handle, its all i know.

i no longer feel no love in this world of hate. everyone is out to get me. everyone has their own opinion of who i am and
what i am supposed to be. i have no dreams, and i have no goals. only but to live out this ****ty life i am cursed with.
i suppose i will make the best of this life, even if it means i cant be who i really want to be. even if it kills me inside.

with these laws inplace, they provent me from truly expressing the dark side of me.

:(

(((jay)))


Life is just letting go of who we are not so that we can reveal that which we have always been. If I could show you ... you...through my eyes...you wouldn't recognize yourself.