Everyone got one, let's hear it!
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Did you hear about that new paint called "blonde"?
It spreads easy but its not that bright.
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.

He’s going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, “OK jerk, I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person’s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person…because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large…all in the name of humor.”

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, but the blonde pipes up, “You stay out of this mister, I’m talking to that little **stard on your knee!”

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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,
and
I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets
him
in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He
studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to
be
able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's
Have a nice cup of tea, and then," he sighed................

"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.
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A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
Q. They think their picture is being taken.
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There was this typical peroxide blonde. She was really tired of being made fun of and being called a ditz, so she decided to get a makeover. She went to a salon and had her hair done so that she was, once again, a brunette. Now that she was a brunette, she decided she would take a drive in the country. So she hopped into her convertible and started driving.
She saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, looking skeptical, said she could.
So the blonde looked at the flock and said, "157." The farmer was amazed because she was right. She picked one out and was getting in her car when the farmer walked up to her.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
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There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
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A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."
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Oh yeah 2KidsMom should be here soon. All smiles here she is.

Bahahahahahaha

Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?



They went to see "Closed for Winter".

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

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A business man got on an elevator.

When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright,
'T-G-I-F.'

He smiled at her and replied,
'S-H-I-T.'

She looked puzzled and repeated,
'T-G-I-F,' more slowly.

He again answered,
'S-H-I-T.'

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly,
'T-G-I-F.'

The man smiled back to her and once again said,
'S-H-I-T.'

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.

'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?'

The man answered, ''S-H-I-T' means
'Sorry, Honey, it's Thursday'

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

ahh...blonde,blonde,blonde....what would the joke forum be without them...