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Community > Poems & Creative Writing

Topic: Dreamtime
Kahurangi Joined Thu 04/26/12 Posts: 1970	Mon 05/14/12 04:05 AM
I walked where they once walked A thousand years ago Breath of time, that matters not Upon the rock of eternal canvas Red ochre, white contrast Mediums born of earth To tell their story of footprints Simple lore of land Barefoot they trod with care Innocent of mind Caretakers of her land Respectful, mindful Of that which nourished them Before the invasion of humanity

poppashroom Joined Tue 06/28/11 Posts: 425	Mon 05/14/12 12:13 PM
I enjoyed that

Kahurangi Joined Thu 04/26/12 Posts: 1970	Mon 05/14/12 01:05 PM
I'm glad you enjoyed, but it needs much work. I'm not happy with "upon the rock of eternal canvas"....I want to change this to "immortality stained on rock" Need to play around with it some more

tazzops Joined Sat 12/20/08 Posts: 33333	Mon 05/14/12 01:29 PM


kc0003 Joined Fri 05/11/07 Posts: 26382	Tue 05/15/12 09:14 AM


Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Tue 05/15/12 10:49 AM
I'm glad you enjoyed, but it needs much work. I'm not happy with "upon the rock of eternal canvas"....I want to change this to "immortality stained on rock" Need to play around with it some more Very, very nice Kahurangi....I love it just as it is but maybe this slight change..... "Breath of time, that matters not" "Upon the immortal rock canvas"

Community > Poems & Creative Writing