Topic: maybe a girl would know.
igoodell's photo
Wed 03/28/12 06:47 PM
Ok so i am over the x. have been for a while. but what i am finding more and more is a lot of girls always mad because they cant find that guy that treats them right. and i watch so many friends of mine go from guy to guy and they are the same guys and they cant figure it out.i am sure that there are other guys like me that get looked over. and we wonder why. and i am not the best looking guy. i am a little bigger but i am not fat. but i am also not "ripped". so basicly. what are the girls looking for then? they just gunna go from hot guy to hot guy until maybe some day that hot guy turns up that thinks like us real guys. if so then why make yourself go through all that hurt.? i know lots of questions, but i am interested to see what anyone has to say.

pyxxie13's photo
Wed 03/28/12 08:26 PM
Well unfortunately there are shallow people in the world but not just women. Everyone is looking for something different and there is no telling who is looking for what until they find it.
As far as looks go.. you can only look so far before you find nothing inside. Not saying that all good looking people are shallow either. People seem to have a trend of the types of people they fall for as well..almost like a pattern.
Good luck regardless.

no photo
Wed 03/28/12 09:10 PM
Everyone has different preferences. You may not fit into everyone's preferences. None of us do. Don't whine about it, though, as it won't help. Just be yourself and get out and meet new people.

josie68's photo
Wed 03/28/12 10:19 PM
Mr Right..
But that is someone different for all of us, Just get to know people and wait to find the person who is right for you.. I don't think anyone realy knows what they are looking for until they find them.:wink:

Cheer_up's photo
Wed 03/28/12 10:38 PM
Now don't get stressed out my friend theres a lot of different lady's out here:) cheers :thumbsup:

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 03/29/12 12:15 AM

Ok so i am over the x. have been for a while. but what i am finding more and more is a lot of girls always mad because they cant find that guy that treats them right.

Then I go to think you are looking in the wrong place for women because sounds like you are picking really shallow angry, ankst women as your base line.

Might want to avoid being the "friend" guy and stop wasteing your time with women who are whineing to you like a girlfriend.


and i watch so many friends of mine go from guy to guy and they are the same guys and they cant figure it out.

Ok again if these are your friends the are dumbe than a bag of rocks and you probably want to upgrade. If you hang out with people with zero self esteem then the whole "birds of a feather" thing kind of rubs off on you.


i am sure that there are other guys like me that get looked over.

Yup the fact that you are 20something makes your being overlooked kind of chronic so don't take it too personally.


and we wonder why.

Because 20 something guys get a bad rap in general. The stereo type is you haven't got your act together, usually not a lot of responsibility or desire to inherit any if they do, you are usually seething hormones, and more interested in impressing your friends than settleing down to being prime boyfriend material. Is it fair? No but who said life is fair? You want to up your odds you have to do what you can to overcome the sterotype and just be a better contender. Going the extra mile to have good manners, denonstrate patience, and show stability, and honesty. Make your reputation preceed you as a good guy and pass up some of the typical stero typical behavior.

and i am not the best looking guy.

Ok according to who? What I see is not bad. Maybe not as glamourouse as you might be but if you are not willing to change your appearance/habits then you are going to have to live with what you got to work with. Very few women are going to require you to be "ripped" but more and more are going to require you to have a sylish haircut, probably prefer looking into contacts rather than glasses, prefer no beard or for that matter facial hair, minimal body hair, and probably not going to want to play kissy face with a smoker. At twenty something they don't have too.

i am a little bigger

Yea and while it is and advantage in some areas it is intimidateing in a dateing situation so you really have to make it clear that you are not a threat. Especially in first dates where you may have to meet them in safe locations, and be really careful that you don't forget your size and domainate their personal space. Probably want to learn how to dance really so you don't make then feel you are not just a body guard.

but i am not fat.

That may or may not be true. "Fat" is kind of a subjective word and what you think is normal may seem fat just because you are big. If you have shoulders the size of Texas and wear clothes the size of Oklahoma you may look heavier than you are. Photos are worth a million words in online dateing and "fat boy" down shots are not capitalizeing on your assets. With one pic I have no idea but these are is a common problems I bring it up.. Just like the idea You can get away with dressing like a teenager as a teenager but at twenty something you have to up your game and dress like a smart 30 something. Tuck your shirt in, buy clothes that are tailored to show off your assets, and get rid of any goofy signature look. And be meticulius about grooming if you have to carry extra gear to change before you go out from you r job or deal with a five oclock shadow. Scruffy only works in the movies.

but i am also not "ripped".
Ok so do you need to push some sit ups out or not? few women want steroid freak looking bodies but if you look frumpy at 20 something they know you are going to look worse at 30/40/50 somehting ao you may have to get of your bum and make the same sacrifices that the gals have to make. Or at least make it clear you are active at something besides stuffing your face or doing beer curls.

so basicly. what are the girls looking for then?

Well it is definitely not someone who calls them girls. Girls are kids that live at mom and Dad's house. Women are independent or at least want to appear to be so if you don't like to be called boy you probably want to strike "girl" from your vocabulary. Right along with anything else derogatory.

they just gunna go from hot guy to hot guy

Yikes why don't you try not to assume that women go from guy to guy. I doubt seriously you know what the majority of women's social calendar is. And even if that was the case would that not be better than staying with some smuck who treats them less than they want to be treated? Are you assumeing they are doing things with every guy you see them date. Nelieve me they aren't even if the guys are telling you they are. Sorry a lot of bragging is going on but if a guy was getting it he probably would not be messing around chaseing.

until maybe some day that hot guy turns up

Sorry guy there are a lot of hot guys around so the Maybe is more likely than you think.

that thinks like us real guys.

So now you are real and a guy who makes an effort to look his best, ask a woman out with an acceptable invitation, and is living instead of whineing about it is not real?

if so then why make yourself go through all that hurt.?

Again you are assume that dating is a pain for every woman because your limited knowledge tells you that some don't enjoy it. Sorry dating is a lot of fun if you make an effort to make it so. Hate to break it too you the ones that are out having fun are not wasteing theri time whineing to you. they are out having a good time with your competition.

i know lots of questions,
I read this a couple of times I am not seeing a lot of questions. I am seeing gender assination, assuptions, accusations, complaining, excuses, self grandizing, and frusteration but few specific questions.



but i am interested to see what anyone has to say.