I'm currently separated from my soon-to-be-ex-husband, and although he was a jerk (understatement, really) I still find myself missing him during the night. I don't know why, he wasn't very loving or affectionate.. It's just hard.

Is anyone else going through this?
Do you have any tips for me?

beat him with a stick. a really long stick. you will feel better.

that was poetic

when u are missing him at night (or any time) reflect on a few memories of WHY you are apart

those memories will make u so freakin happy that he is gone that u will enjoy snuggling with a warm blanky.....and you'll appreciate your next hunny by your side that much more

a really really REALLY big stick.

I must emphasize the stick that must be used in this beating.

Been there and done that.....Divorce is worse than death. Death is final, divorce they take part of you with them.

Give yourself time to process all of it, yes it is natural to still think of the other person even if they were not so nice. Learning who you are now (you are not the same person anymore)and letting the process move forward you will move on in you heart and mind.

It really is up to you how long you linger or they linger in your heart and mind?

Best wishes to you!

When I do, I only feel sadder. The reasons we separated weren't good ones. It was a very bad marriage that I tried to keep together but.. yeah.

I'm young, I know this, and that I have plenty of other chances to find the right person, but I'm not sure if I can handle it yet.

If someone dies is that considered divorce from their life?

Thank you. You are right, that they take a piece of you with them.
Sigh. Depressing topic.
:(

amaeb22, what you are feeling is similar what I felt after my wife died. You sense an emptiness in your life, and it hurts.

The healing process takes time. It helps if you can express your feelings in a safe setting. That is why I started visiting Mingle2.

I am currently going through this,
me and my ex separated only weeks
ago. Normally moving on would be
easier, but since we have children
we are always in contact and seeing
each other.

She has issues staying faithful and
is already seeing someone else, well
she has been seeing him for months.

I fail and we end up being intimate,
and that makes things worse but I feel
like crap with out those moments of
happiness. we don't choose who we love
and even though a person can be a bad
partner and parent does not me we love
them less.

It ok to have feelings for them and
you seem to know whats best for you.

Things will get easier with time and
there will always be memories of those
good times that that bring up unwanted
feelings. just know that where you
are is better then where you were,
and work on making you and you're kids
happy.

then focus on how awesome the moonlight is.

o no i hear honking. i might need to step outside and handle something. hmmm.

nope they stopped yelling.

in all honesty though! the best way is to lose yourself in something else. such as! drawing cooking etc. find what makes you happy and devote more time to it so you dont have that spare time to think about depression or agitation.

^.^

There are a lot of negative emotions between my ex and I, though. He has already moved on and it's only been one month. We're not even legally divorced yet. I can't say I'm any better, I joined this site. Sigh. We became the opposite of what we both wanted in the end.

I'm sorry that she has that hold over you still, but even though I miss my ex, and you miss your's, doesn't mean we stoop to their level and give in.

It's painful and lonely, but there are brighter things to life. You have your kids. Hold onto them like I hold onto my son. Be happy you're not homeless, or experienced anything worse.

My husband cheated on me the last year of our marriage but since we had a child, I wanted things to work out for our son. Things escalated into violence and again, here I am: sitting at the table with all sorts of legal work to file.

It hurts, and it probably will for a while, but we have to stay positive.

Marriage is an institution and you were institutionalized. I have encountered being institutionalized twice to the same woman; Rehab and then to my wife who passed away. One can actually miss even the antagonist and the protagonist as well. One has to relearn how to be single again especially if one feels that they were like born married. Being single after being married I have found is a new type of single whether through divorce or becoming a widow or widower. It is a good time to make a lot of friends. That way you can have backup friends. Especially, if like me, you wear them out. That way you can recharge your batteries for being single. It is like taking baby steps. You will find that you will eventually even like being alone at times.

I know u will feel sadder but you will also understand within yourself why u are better off right now alone at night for right now. Don't worry about being able to "handel" stuff - just - well, if you find something or someone and it makes u happy - I don;t see a problem there, but that's just me

catch whatever happiness is out there right now

I did that after my divorce and it made some nice memories, a few good friends, and kept me alive - literally...good luck!

You sound like a very strong women with
a good head on her shoulders, things will
be brighter and you're right it's the kids
that are important, took a long time to
realize that being together for them was
not best for them.

We made a good move by coming here though,
as we do deserve to find our happiness.

then. you should take that stick and insert it up *censored*


=)

I still have to wait for my actual divorce. Uhg, I want everything to be over so I can move on peacefully. He's the type of person who tears up anyone who sullies his name or life.

I understand why we're getting divorced, I do, but I've never been with anyone as long as him. I think that's what hurts the most; how much time and effort and tears I put into that relationship only to have it crumble.

I deserve better, I know I do.