Help, Mingle friends. I'm spooked. I've been e-mailing a man on another site for a few days, and suddenly he remarks that he lives near me--and gives his address, which in fact is near me. But I don't have MY address on the site, so he found it somehow. How? I didn't even tell him my last name, and haven't asked his. He makes it sounds like he never leaves his house, so I don't know that he's really a stalker, but I'm spooked. Should I confront him? Or is it safest to just cut off all connection with him immediately?

did he say near you as in a block away
or near you as in the same city?

We knew we were in the same city, that's on the profiles. But he said that he was really near me and gave his street address. It's probably less than 2 miles away. How did he know my street address? This a big city.

I know that you're supposed to be able to find this kind of thing on Google easily, but I've never had it done to me before. The last thing I want is him showing up here. I had no intention of meeting him for quite some time (actually the more I learned about him the less inclined I was).

i'm guessing he did the google.
the interwebs are full of information.
i'd ask him why he googled me and then probably forget about him.

maybe ask him what he meant. He could have meant close in the city if you discussed a general area in the city. Example: I'm in Arlington. I live in South Arlington. If I discussed that with someone then they might mean they live in South Arlington too

Not sure how other sites work, but here if someone tries to look up an IP address for a member, they will get the IP address for Mingle.

So he would be able to find me without a last name, without a street address, only a city name? We had not talked at all about where I lived.

I'm wondering if I should complain to the site manager. I feel very uneasy about this.

All he would need is your email address

People can find a lot of information on you just googleing your screenname or doing a search for your picture. The illusion that your somehow protected from being found is only that an illusion.

With a little time and persistence with as little a first name, age, city he could look you up on several servers for free and from any number of pay sites for as little as a couple bucks find out more information than you can remember about yourself. .

maybe he is bluffing you to see if you would agree that he is close?

Huh, interesting thought.

Well, do you think I'm right to be unnerved about it, though? What would you do if it were you? And keep in mind that I have no particular interest in this guy. He was already beginning to sound weird, and not in a good way.

Komrad, he doesn't have my email address, unless he stole it somehow.

Some sites give the distance between the user and the other person. The distance value in miles may have been low between you and him.

He could also have recognized you in the county council chambers, where the executions are witnessed by ordinary citizens. Are you an ordinary citizen? Well, then, there you go.

I've recognized I think one person off sites in my neighbourhoods. Make that two. One was a woman who was gassing up her car, and she looked prettier in life and much shorter than on her pictures. She recognized me too. Neither of us let on. The other woman and I recognized each other -- she lived like five or ten short blocks from me. She freaked out, and was quite the bieetchy one. Although at that time I was not quite that obese yet. She was taller than I, and slimmer, better looking, and I was on my bicycle. We met at a neighbourhood garage sale, and she was not kind to my jocular advance, which was not at all connected to the site. I later went home, and bang, she was listed as 1 mi from me. The other woman was on a site that said only that we lived in the same city.

IMO...if you are creeped out then yes I would block him and let the site know so they can at least look into him. I guess it depends on the site if they will look into him. I know here, Mingle would

I think he is probably bluffing to see if you would give anything away, but that is just me. I would think most sites have some protection.

Like here....if someone googles my user name and gets an IP address....it's not mine. It is the site where the server is that they are seeing. I know this because I asked about it a while back. Since you are basically going through Mingle's system when you are here....others wouldn't be able to get you specific IP.

But it's always best to be safe than sorry...especially if you weren't that interested in him any way

CREEPY, but if he comes to my house i'd have to knock him out cold!!!!

That's a good thought too. he may have done a search online for someone within 5 miles of him or whatever

Pacific star, your content scared me. You mean to say that anyone can look up that I am failed fiction writer, wear exclusively blue jeans for pants, and never go to the movies? I'll never live down the shame.

OP, should you get concnerned? It's your call, basically, but there are laws that protect you. If the guy had the intention of grabbing you and smacking a kiss right in your armpit in a dark alley, he would have already done this to other women, and got arrested and properly executed for it.

On the other hand... Komrad means communist, so he may try to talk you into joining the underground communist baseball team in your area. And try to throw a curve ball, underground!! Only ground hogs and moles can do that. You can tell him, if and when he tries to procure you with this, that you are not in his league.

if you dont wanna continue communication with this guy, then just stop. Its not by force.

But since he knows where she lives, it can continue in a forced way, if the woman leaves the conversation, unwillingly by the guy.

This is the entire crux of the situation. That she can't just walk away.

It's like being on death row. You can't just walk away. It's a real bummer to be in those fixes.

what if he knows her facialy already? You know, like one he sees along the road. Might just be nothing also. First, cut off from him and see what happenes.

I understand your hesitation -- you've said you have no interest in pursuing the relationship/conversations -- just stop, say "I'm glad we talked, but I'm moving on, best of luck to you!" and stop conversing.

I can tell you stories of a guy pulling up in my driveway -- from a slight picture I had posted and some info about my 'house/yard/dog'. I lived in a very, very, very small town however. Lesson learned!!

Listen to your gut and be careful

most new photo cameras display your location built into the pic info

you can google people and find their exact location

there are sites that you pay for that can locate you by your utilities

or by your ip address

use a proxy or get a gun or both

i googled a girl a while ago and it gave me her address

and the addresses of her relatives for free

i knew it was correct because she told me where
they lived ahead of time

i never told her because im sure it would of freaked her out

just recently the government used gps with the census to locate everybodys front door in the world

now thats scary