Previous 1
Topic: love and relationship
Kukuya's photo
Mon 01/23/12 09:33 PM
is there a thing like being in love with someone who does nt trust u but they say they love u? No matter what u do they always feel like u are cheating on them. How can u make them understand that u love and there is no other third person in between?

ArtGurl's photo
Mon 01/23/12 09:37 PM

is there a thing like being in love with someone who does nt trust u but they say they love u? No matter what u do they always feel like u are cheating on them. How can u make them understand that u love and there is no other third person in between?



Unless they deal with their own insecurity, it is a recipe for disaster...

I don't think there is anything you can say .

Sin_and_Sorrow's photo
Mon 01/23/12 09:43 PM

is there a thing like being in love with someone who does nt trust u but they say they love u? No matter what u do they always feel like u are cheating on them. How can u make them understand that u love and there is no other third person in between?


Someone who lacks trust has usually been burned bad in the past.
It also links itself to low self-esteem; which raises the non-trust level.

The more heightened this distrust actually is, it is usually denoted to the fact they care far more than they truly ever desired to commit their emotions to; thus, the appearance of fear takes stage.

For this situation..

Words will not cut it. They rarely do, why? Actions. They've always speak louder.

If you truly care.. it will take work and patience.

Try to live each day with giving that other person as little space to create any form of doubt. Be open to the idea of letting this individual raid your privacy (so to speak) so that there is no room for him/her to create the possibility of doubt.

For example.

If you truly don't have anything to hide..

Limit communication with the opposite sex THAT has the appearances of being able to disrupt any trust you may be gaining. Like, don't associate with those who flirt heavily on you, especially when the other is not around.

Just to try to limit as many things as possible that can create suspicion.

The walls of trust are easily broken and very hard to rebuild.

It is a process. So if you believe it worth it, then pursue it.

But I assure you it won't happen over night.

Kukuya's photo
Mon 01/23/12 09:57 PM
thanks for responding but u see i ve tried to do everythng bt to no avail,everytime i stay away or i dnt call he picks up a fight. Its nt easy bt am afriad of what might happen

Kukuya's photo
Mon 01/23/12 09:57 PM
thanks

Sin_and_Sorrow's photo
Mon 01/23/12 09:59 PM

thanks for responding but u see i ve tried to do everythng bt to no avail,everytime i stay away or i dnt call he picks up a fight. Its nt easy bt am afriad of what might happen


...afraid of what might happen?

From the sounds of it..

Doesn't sound like he wants to love you..

..he wants to control you.

Kukuya's photo
Mon 01/23/12 10:09 PM
exactly! Thats what i don't want,u know we are from different countries.if i don't call him he calls me a cheat and says i spend my time with other guys bt he has never rung me or anythng ,i try to make thngs work 4 us. When am quite he picks up a fight with..i go 4 a job interveiw he gets upset that why i am gettng a job in my country instead of getting one frm his country and says i ve a man thats why i dnt wanna join him. I have really had it up to my neck and it hate this part right here.

Sin_and_Sorrow's photo
Mon 01/23/12 10:12 PM
Oh phuck that...

I was under the impression you both were like in the same city, maybe even state; but different countries?!

Walk away.

That's just ridiculous to be that obsessive and that far away at the same time.

How's he expect you to move there with no money?

Kukuya's photo
Mon 01/23/12 10:21 PM
u r right! Walking away is the best thng to do b4 it gets worse

Bravalady's photo
Mon 01/23/12 10:22 PM
Edited by Bravalady on Mon 01/23/12 10:23 PM
I have a sneaking feeling that joining this man might be a big mistake. It might only get worse if you were actually with him. People mean all kinds of different things by love. Love doesn't work out unless there is trust and respect.

no photo
Mon 01/23/12 10:23 PM
I feel for you, really I do flowerforyou
I think maybe because he cannot see you face to face is why he has doubts believing everything you say. It's very easy to talk on the phone, people can say anything, try seeing/talking to him on Skype, this may help. You could ask him to come and visit you, or you go visit him, like take it in turns. I have a very close friend that was in the same situation so I understand what you're going through. Although I also agree with everything Sin was saying too. So I think you need to figure out if he is just insecure and needs a little reassurance or if he is just a control freak. I wish you the best, only you alone can know the answer flowers

Kukuya's photo
Mon 01/23/12 10:27 PM
thanks

Down2earthdebbie's photo
Mon 01/23/12 11:47 PM


thanks for responding but u see i ve tried to do everythng bt to no avail,everytime i stay away or i dnt call he picks up a fight. Its nt easy bt am afriad of what might happen


...afraid of what might happen?

From the sounds of it..

Doesn't sound like he wants to love you..

..he wants to control you.
Been there & that's what it sounds like......... .Just walk away!

Tulareman's photo
Tue 01/24/12 12:48 AM



thanks for responding but u see i ve tried to do everythng bt to no avail,everytime i stay away or i dnt call he picks up a fight. Its nt easy bt am afriad of what might happen


...afraid of what might happen?

From the sounds of it..

Doesn't sound like he wants to love you..

..he wants to control you.
Been there & that's what it sounds like......... .Just walk away!
I agree with this. Walk away.And try to find a man that is MUCH closer to you. One that you will beable to every now and then.
Trust is a big issue in a relationship. Without trust. You have nothing.

irisheyes79's photo
Tue 01/24/12 08:16 AM

is there a thing like being in love with someone who does nt trust u but they say they love u? No matter what u do they always feel like u are cheating on them. How can u make them understand that u love and there is no other third person in between?
hmmmmmmmmm been there done that insecurities and/or up to no good themseleves

ManMaddy's photo
Tue 01/24/12 09:46 AM
I completely undrstd ur prob bt its nt abt making the person undrstd. Its abt making him feel and realize tht He is imp to u than anything in ur life. U need to spend more quality time wth him to avoid such misundrstd in future. Hope this has answered ur question

Kat1974's photo
Tue 01/24/12 10:06 AM


is there a thing like being in love with someone who does nt trust u but they say they love u? No matter what u do they always feel like u are cheating on them. How can u make them understand that u love and there is no other third person in between?



Unless they deal with their own insecurity, it is a recipe for disaster...

I don't think there is anything you can say .


I have to agree with Art and the others. This is not a healthy relationship. Walk away and know you made the right decision.

irisheyes79's photo
Tue 01/24/12 10:16 AM
not no but hell no run away

no photo
Tue 01/24/12 11:57 AM
Sorry to jump on the band wagon...this is not a lasting relationship because you're dealing with his insecurity.

I had the same problem with one of my ex's...if I went out for an evening, I was always with another man...if I wouldn't give up my male friends for him, it was because I didn't love him enough..it was endless.

no photo
Wed 01/25/12 01:21 AM
u look good

Previous 1