how do you know they aren't female?

Dude...Women scare me!

Um.

Unless they promoted homosexuality at WB..
I believe the episodes depicting them 'falling for a female version of themselves' pretty much answered that debate.

The female Taz Devil had a purple ribbon in her hair. >.>

Exactly. And I just can't understand why so many people are so committed to wasting time -- their own and other people's....

and you seem a bit defensive

I am about the least controlling person you will ever meet that is hilarious

yes I would not be happy if my partner spent more time with other female companions than he did with me because it would be a sign that he was not that into me. When I fall for a guy he is really the only one I want to talk with. I want someone who shares that same style. Not that we both would not have opposite gender friends - I wouldn't care who he talks to in a general sense

most men I've known do not hang out with other females once they are in a committed relationship - except married friends - girlfriends of their buds- stuff like that

trust me - if he is talking up other women for any length of time regualrly - he is not that into you sing

I'm just going by what you've said on here in the forums. You've mentioned more than a few times wanting to be friends first, but then also talked about not wanting these friends to talk to other friends who happen to be female. If that works for you, awesome. But yes, that is controlling.

If a guy I was dating told me who I could not be friends with, that would show me he doesn't trust me and that would not be good for a relationship. There has to be trust, or it won't work.

hmmmmm purple = my favorite color -well I'm outta here gotta get some sleep - enjoy ur night

who knows

we all need brain scans

it 's only controlling if you actually try to control someone;s behavior - that I will not do

I am doing nothing controlling. I just break up if I feel that I am not a priority in his life - but I never tell him what to do

if anything I should probably communicate more instead of just always walking away....

to me YOU are the one who is controlling by demanding a man accept that kind of behavior & hounding others on here who do not agree with you.

it's not a matter of trust - it is a respect issue- and that should not require an explanation so I am not giving one

How am I controlling? I respect his friends, he respects mine. I would never tell someone who or who not to be friends with. It absolutely is a matter of trust.

Amusing how you turned that around, though.

I also think it's a bit odd to respond and say she's nagging. If someone told me they wanted to meet, I'd follow up and ask when if they hadn't bothered to tell me. Though if I got no response, I'd just assume they weren't interested anymore. It doesn't take long to pop online, let the person know you've been busy or schedule the date. Even when I am really busy, it just takes a few minutes for me to log onto my email and send a quick message.

yea that bout sums it up for me

I'm at the point now where I just automatically assume the change attempts will begin 90 days into the relationship and there's simply nothing that can be done about that. When all you've ever seen are gray cats, it's difficult to believe there's a white one out there.

I fully understand where you are coming from Lex. As I just stated in another post; I have never asked anyone to change for me. It seems rather immature to ask that of another human being. Whatever happened to accept me for who I am. I couldn't live with myself if I demanded someone to change and I couldn't live with someone if they asked me to change.

I don't know if that holds true or not. I went many years and many relationships before it occurred to me that everyone I got involved with was always trying to change me after 90 days. In retrospect, I'm surprised I didn't see what was happening for so long!

But the reality is, they always want to change me in the exact same way. So my hypothesis now is that the real issue is a conflict between what I want in life vs. what they want me to want in my life (which is NOT what I want).

So I don't believe it's actually possible for me to meet a woman who will not try to change me. I don't think that person exists. But, as I noted above, this conclusion comes only after many many attempts. Scientific method -- if you perform an experiment enough times and always get the same result, the result becomes more and more conclusive. Drop a bowling ball and it will fall to the floor. (Absent any specifically-contrived methodologies to ensure otherwise.)

Well, this is the part that has me bamboozled. If I like someone, I like her the way she is and I would prefer her (generally speaking) to stay that way.

It would never occur to me to try to initiate a relationship with someone, with the underlying purpose of turning her into a completely different person down the road. I can think of few things more insane (not to mention inconsiderate and disrespectful and dishonest) than that.

I think it is important to accept someone for who they are.Respect the individual, plus you fell inlove or start to develop feelings for someone why ask them to change? What i am fumbling trying to say is this... You fall for someone, you fall for the person that they are and if you take that step further and think about a relationship..you need to accept the flaws with the perks. But at the sametime. A person is always growing, learning and that can change the person they are, shift beliefs, shift standards of living..

People say lots of things. My last x number of girlfriends have told me "I love everything about you!" and "I don't want kids, either, they're dirty and messy and noisy and they smell bad."

But then it all changes. I can't assume anyone is telling me the truth when they say these things. Historically, they always lie.

So "Obviously they do exist" remains completely unconfirmed to me. I've seen no evidence of it.



I do not believe there is any other kind out there. Yes, they SAY "I am not like that," but they turn out to be like that. Where is my incentive to believe anything they say?



This is kind of a moot point, because I am no longer in a position where I can meet people, anyway. There really is no one to choose or not choose.



I suppose the issue is whether or not there's anybody out there who actually would respect a person's choices. I'm not seeing it. I've run into two categories on this -- those who admit, right up front, that they're not looking for what I'm looking for (much easier to deal with, really), and those who lie about it for three months.



I assume, though, that you're in a position where a.) you have some degree of access to people, and b.) your choices/preferences/etc. aren't automatically anathema to those you do meet. I think this would make a successful outcome considerably more possible.