I think its more about accepting compatibility. Male or female.
If you are with someone who tunes you out then you are not a match. I think many of us here, have been with people who tune us out.

I think its important to pay attention to the person you are with and not rely on the stereotype. You are not with a stereotype, you are with one individual.

I love what Optimistic said about men and porn. Ive felt that way for years and tried to explain it to an ex. He chose to beleive the fantasy of what he watched in porn, and not what I told him flat out would work for me. He actually tried to tell me I was wrong about what I wanted. Luckily, my exact words were validated by a well respected porn star on Howard Stern. I hope he learned something.

If the one you're with actually tells you what they want or need, then you know....because they are the ONLY reliable resource....Whether its about becoming a parent, or just what makes you happy in general.

He can't find a woman who understands the Higgs boson. I can totally identify with that.

Pornography is specifically for men and their fantasies. A woman can tell if a man's sex life is centered around pornography. They confuse what they watch with reality and they expect real women to act like that.

There are exceptions. I've mentioned before that many of my exes told me, at some point, "You're the first guy who ever took the time to listen to what I have to say." And it's true. I've been trained for that; I'm a very good listener and I got a reputation for that sort of thing many years ago.

I enjoyed listening to them. In retrospect, that was actually the best part of those relationships -- the process of getting to know about them, their lives, their histories, their families, their hopes and dreams and fears and likes and dislikes, their goals, their ambitions, the things they were afraid to talk to anybody else about.

I enjoyed the process of getting an ever-fuller, ever-more-substantial picture of who this person is....

Of course, it didn't matter in the end, since they all eventually decided it was their job to turn me into Somebody's Dad. But I did learn a lot about how to listen....

Of course; there are exceptions to every case. I just never dated one personally that listened to me as his tv was more important. I am not the type of woman that sits on the couch and says "what are you feeling"? I am not needy that I need constant reassuring. When I say something of importance like telling a man that I was undergoing cancer testing; I expected him to actually listen but guess I was asking too much for him to listen or care.

Men like you Lex and my best friend Lee actually do listen and care which I find very rare. I think woman would be lucky to have someone like you and would not try to change you.

I just keep meeting guys; especially at my age; that care for their tvs more than me. This is another reason for me to stay single.

Apparently, there are a LOT of guys like that out there; it's hard for me to imagine, as I cannot even begin to comprehend the mindset that would make a guy so self-absorbed and inconsiderate. But I have no doubt it's true. I have never had a lot of male friends, but some of them were very much like that. And not just with women! They really never paid attention to anything anyone had to say. I remember one guy (someone I played hockey with years ago) asking me the same question 4 times in a 5-minute car ride. I'm not sure that there's anything you can do with someone like that.



You would think so, but no! I assume there's some sort of contest going on, first woman who changes me gets a Chevy Impala or something.



Yours have their TVs, mine have their crusade for compulsory parenthood. Sometimes single is the best way to go.

Yep, I hear you Lex. My friends always ask why I remain single and I tell them why. I personally think its awful when someone just tunes you out. I personally never ask much from a man other than he listen to me when I have something serious to say. It makes me feel like crap when a guy can't be bothered to care about what I have to say. Honestly Lex, I don't see why the big push to be a parent. I have never been one and never regretted it. Personally, I admire you for standing your ground.

If two people care about each other, it shouldn't be too much to ask that they actually time to listen to what the other one has to say. That's how I see it, anyway.

As for standing my ground, I've seen what happened when I didn't. I don't want to go through any of that again....