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Topic: trust
RainbowTrout's photo
Sun 11/20/11 03:00 PM

Trust no one! I mean...didn't we learn this from X-Files?


I want to believe.drinker

no photo
Sun 11/20/11 03:10 PM

Insecurities are probably the number one killer of relationships.


only because the stronger partner let's it happen...

but that is a choice everyone is free to make - how much "understanding" one is able to contribute to helping another's insecurities

If I really care about someone tho and they have felt safe enough to share an insecurity with me I can;t imagine that I'd then turn on them and say Oh No you're insecure, party's over

that would be shallow and not indicative of someone who is capable of loving or caring for another

and in fact quite cruel

BettyB's photo
Sun 11/20/11 03:25 PM


Insecurities are probably the number one killer of relationships.


only because the stronger partner let's it happen...

but that is a choice everyone is free to make - how much "understanding" one is able to contribute to helping another's insecurities

If I really care about someone tho and they have felt safe enough to share an insecurity with me I can;t imagine that I'd then turn on them and say Oh No you're insecure, party's over

that would be shallow and not indicative of someone who is capable of loving or caring for another

and in fact quite cruel


This is very true, I agree with you ! I believe you hit the nail right on the head. But only somebody that is capable of loving would understand .

burgundybry's photo
Sun 11/20/11 03:30 PM


Insecurities are probably the number one killer of relationships.


only because the stronger partner let's it happen...

but that is a choice everyone is free to make - how much "understanding" one is able to contribute to helping another's insecurities

If I really care about someone tho and they have felt safe enough to share an insecurity with me I can;t imagine that I'd then turn on them and say Oh No you're insecure, party's over

that would be shallow and not indicative of someone who is capable of loving or caring for another

and in fact quite cruel


Kudos!!flowers

solitairé's photo
Mon 11/21/11 04:19 AM
u can only help someone with insecurity issues only if d person admits to it.What if d insecure person instead goes ballistic and abusive?i loved him(and guess i still do) but I just wouldn't let myself be a victim of his paranoia.

no photo
Mon 11/21/11 05:42 AM
Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Mon 11/21/11 05:48 AM



Insecurities are probably the number one killer of relationships.


only because the stronger partner let's it happen...

but that is a choice everyone is free to make - how much "understanding" one is able to contribute to helping another's insecurities

If I really care about someone tho and they have felt safe enough to share an insecurity with me I can;t imagine that I'd then turn on them and say Oh No you're insecure, party's over

that would be shallow and not indicative of someone who is capable of loving or caring for another

and in fact quite cruel


This is very true, I agree with you ! I believe you hit the nail right on the head. But only somebody that is capable of loving would understand .


exactly


and we are all insecure about....something

at some level, some are honest about it and some in denial

no photo
Mon 11/21/11 05:51 AM

When a man doesnt trust me, I take it as a communication from him that he does not know honest behaviour. I see it as somewhat of a confession.

So for me as well, non relationship button.


I do not trust easily but it is not because of what I have done, it is because of what was done to me - completely - with respect to relationships

-not that I have lived a life of being perfect or anything (not even close)

but I do grant the benefit of the doubt until trust factors in - I need time to get there


no photo
Mon 11/21/11 06:16 AM
Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Mon 11/21/11 06:19 AM

u can only help someone with insecurity issues only if d person admits to it.What if d insecure person instead goes ballistic and abusive?i loved him(and guess i still do) but I just wouldn't let myself be a victim of his paranoia.


I meant in no way to imply that anyone should put up with abuse - but it can also be helpful to know what abuse is

it is not abuse to question questionable behavior - or to speak the truth plainly

to behave in a manner that is dangerous or shows a pattern of degradation, inconsideration or disregard is abusive as is neglect

if someone gets truly ballistic & abusive (not just upset) they need to get a grip & prolly professional help with a lack of control that profound

& agreed - in no way should anyone stay in such a relationship - in fact many do & u are to be congratulated for leaving

I am sorry to hear that happened to you & yes I agree it does help if a partner is aware of an insecurity so it can be discussed rationally

BettyB's photo
Mon 11/21/11 02:40 PM
I have noticed that the men that complain about a woman being insecure are usually the same ones that cause it.
They will put no effort at all in helping her feel better .They just feel you have no right to ask any questions. They are very controlling and self centered people.

no photo
Mon 11/21/11 02:44 PM

Insecurities are probably the number one killer of relationships.


Only if both people cannot work to get past that insecurity.

no photo
Mon 11/21/11 06:46 PM

I have noticed that the men that complain about a woman being insecure are usually the same ones that cause it.
They will put no effort at all in helping her feel better .They just feel you have no right to ask any questions. They are very controlling and self centered people.


well yes

I have seen it in the context of infidelity where a man will accuse a woman of being insecure as a cover up for his infidelities

it can probably work the other way also

no photo
Mon 11/21/11 06:56 PM



When a man doesnt trust me, I take it as a communication from him that he does not know honest behaviour. I see it as somewhat of a confession.

So for me as well, non relationship button.


I do not trust easily but it is not because of what I have done, it is because of what was done to me - completely - with respect to relationships

-not that I have lived a life of being perfect or anything (not even close)

but I do grant the benefit of the doubt until trust factors in - I need time to get there




I see nothing wrong with that. I meant if he did not accept my explanation. A continued mistrust. There is only so much I can accept because of my own experiences.

I live my live with honesty. When people who know me arent able to acknowledge that, I will move on. Not immediately, tho. I know we all need time to trust.

I often trust too quickly, experience or not. Its the heart on the sleeve bit, willing to take the consequences.


I do these sames things sometimes too klc

not as often as ...say 5-10 years ago - and sometimes I hate that - that I have had the trust beaten out of me - so to speak

it has put pressure on my ability form a male love relationship - If it has a penis, I do NOT trust it - in a personal sense


(I work with a lot of men who I trust in that work day context - completely - so I wanted to clarify that)

If I get to know a man well enough I can learn to trust him, but too much shyte has happened for it to be automatic (to trust)

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