Topic: JUST READ IT
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Mon 10/31/11 02:08 AM
We fell in love in a broken place
We turned our eyes from the blinding light
Wandered away from the path of grace
Drowning fast in the dark of night

Your gentle touch turned as cold as stone
Your selfishness; poison in my veins
My heart is broken; I'm so alone
What did I do to deserve this pain?

The weight of this curtain that’s dropped on my back
Is crushing my bones; my lungs have collapsed
It came out of nowhere, crippling my soul
The rudders have shattered; I have no control

Flashing, foreboding, The Exit reads “Entrance”
Stuck in this horror that doesn’t make sense
My wings have been clipped as I fall from the sky
A shot in the dark; I hear no reply

Our hearts have been broken, hardened, and bruised
Our minds have been poisoned; severely confused
Our bodies are tired and frail like the veil
that has wrapped our souls up in the pirate’s black sail

We had our dreams right in front of us
All lights were green on the open roads
How did this diamond turn to dust?
Sweetie please help me I still don't know

“Another chance” is far too late
To turn this ship away from it’s hate
The power’s gone out; the show can’t go on
The air is afire with affliction songs


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Mon 10/31/11 03:21 AM
i can read this poem over and over,and every time i read it,i get a new meaning,,,, i do'nt know about you?

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Mon 10/31/11 05:25 AM
Nice write.

RainbowTrout's photo
Mon 10/31/11 06:06 AM
That was a very enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.:smile:

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Mon 10/31/11 07:26 AM
am glad u enjoy'd readin it

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Mon 10/31/11 08:24 AM
A very deep write, on a number of levels....smokin

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Mon 10/31/11 09:10 AM

A very deep write, on a number of levels....smokin



skin deep

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Mon 10/31/11 12:30 PM


A very deep write, on a number of levels....smokin



skin deep


"We fell in love in a broken place"

Falling into love & out into heartache.....Both can become deep on a number of levels. If there was more then just lust.

prashant01's photo
Mon 10/31/11 12:54 PM
Edited by prashant01 on Mon 10/31/11 01:04 PM

That was a very enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.:smile:


Enjoyable read??

In what way,May I know?


It's a good work but I didn't felt any joy or grace while reading it.Rather it's a sad,gloomy worded.

As OP said there would be different meanings at every other read,but I wonder how can this be a enjoyable read!!

Anyway,I felt its meaning jumping & turning around at every other stanza giving no particular direction/theme/meaning in the end.


Sorry,If been much critical.flowerforyou but I just can't refrain.

May be poem is best & my senses are limited.happy

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Tue 11/01/11 01:52 AM
all positive and negative critics are welcomed

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Tue 11/01/11 06:27 AM

all positive and negative critics are welcomed
Did you write this Jdie, because it's a exceptional poem.smokin

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Tue 11/01/11 09:07 AM


all positive and negative critics are welcomed
Did you write this Jdie, because it's a exceptional poem.smokin



i did, my friend wrote it. he is a poet.