I am sure most of you will have heard of Mr. Quentin Crisp,the infamous raconteur who often described himself as "the stately homo of England". Many many years ago, before he decided to move over to New York, he was invited for an interview at the American Embassy in Grosvenor Square, London.

Upon being asked by an official if he was a practising homosexual, Mr. Crisp replied "Practising? I'm perfect!"

And yet my favourite Crispian quote just has to be "Don't waste your money keeping up with the Joneses - bring them down to your level: it's cheaper".