I would be fine texting, if I was already chatting,
But for me talking in person was really hard, and then meeting was horrid..
I had constant doubts that he would change his mind when we met or he would think I talked funny or something.

I get nervous that I speak too fast for the people who don't come from New York (or a large family).

Nervous? No. Excited to talk to someone new? Yes. I am picky about who I give my number to, though.

I get so nervous that I will not make first contact with anyone. They have to call me first and then I'm ok. Text and email no big deal.

I don't get this no first contact thing. I never understood why people wait around for someone else to do something.

I don't like to admit this but for me, I think it's the fear of rejection and seeing myself without any worth. I also think this is why I have a strong fear of offending anyone.

When I was dating; nope never got nervous. Have nerves of steel.


I'm normally fine once I get past the initial call/text.


Well, I figured out long ago; the worse thing that can happen is the person says they aren't interested in me. I have been rejected by lots of guys; so for me I find nothing to get nervous about. I guess also; having to teach people in the military; I was so used to getting up and talking in front of strangers; it doesn't bother me anymore. My brother was the nervous type and couldn't talk in public, so he joined Toastmasters which helped him overcome his shyness. I know talking in public and talking to a date aren't quite the same; but it may give you more confidence in yourself.

Sometimes you just have to take a chance.

I can totally relate Jackie as I am very similar although I'm getting better at 'first contact' and will send nudges etc whereas all I used to do was 'sit' online and wait for someone to contact me. It's just the first contact when it comes to calling/texting thing that I'm really bad at.

As Krupa said, it's definitely a self preservation/fear of rejection thing going on.

Am happy...more ppl on island than I thought

My job also is part trainer, part networker, attending meetings etc, so I fine in a professional capacity. I used to put my initial nerves down to the fact that I was so used to talking about myself in relation to what I do for a living that I forgot how to talk about 'me' in a non work capacity. My friends and family have gotten used to me sometimes taking a back seat and being a listener but it’s not the same when you’re dating...

omg i do the samething sometimes

Yes, I agree its not the same when dating. I do tend to talk about the military (work) myself but its been my way of life for over 20 years. I just relate my work to making me the person I am today.

For me Texting and email are no problem. The frist call . . its more of an excited feeling. The last time I talked to someone for the frist time . . we were on the phone for two and a half hours. Lol :)

Texting I have no issues with except,,I HATE typing,,,lol Give me a real voice ANYDAY as to type or text,,or email,,,I have talked to people all my life and feel as calm about a stranger,,as if they were family..
If the conversation is equal in desires,,its a long one...and if they are not conversationalisls,,I pick-up their slack,,its all good,,and in a voice I can feel their hearts much more,,,than in printed words....

I have to say, I’m more happy texting...believe it or not, I’ve actually gone on dates with guys whereby the first time I've heard their voice was when I've met them in person. The whole getting to know you bit, arranging where and what time we were meeting was done via email and text

I find this hard to belive!!!!!you are a awesome....

Jackie, that is how I feel. I had my self esteem crushed to dust, so it is difficult trying to get it back.