I feel each person has their own reasons for being still single/never married. And wow your reasons are phenomenal

I like some of them married for friends. As I suck at dating I guess it really doesn't matter. But this one I was really interested in her husband is a good friend. It was just one of those infatuation things. Just because one might lust after someone doesn't mean you and them both have chemistry. I think an one sided chemistry is just lust. My theory is that for chemistry to work you both have to have lust for each other. Otherwise, its just kind of pointless. That is why I think I helped into agreeing to help to match her up with someone like a married person tried to help set me up with someone. Lust isn't something one has to prove in my opinion. I could be wrong.

krupa dude... ya ain't alone, brother.

I was with some friends last night, all of who are in their 30s, so I brought up the subject of people being wary of those who haven't been married by a certain age. Not surprising, they agreed with me that not having been married by a certain age is less of a red flag than someone who has been divorced more than once. So, I guess it's just all in who you ask. Then again, I live in a city where there are lots and lots of young (30s) single people. So, it could be much different in another place.

Yup! All have gone to college, have decent jobs and live in/near the city I live in.

Most of my friends where I live now have never been married. So, like I said, it isn't surprising that they'd agree with me.

I think if someone asked their friends who are mostly divorced, they'd probably think the other way.

I can't see how being married and divorced is better than not.

I suppose there are circumstances in every situation that can lead a good person down the wrong path. I find in dating someone that was previously married bringing whatever issues they had that led to the divorce with them. The last thing I want to hear on a date is "my ex-husband used to do this or that".

Honestly, to me, some divorced people are much more bitter than those who haven't been married. Take this forum for example, we often hear people talking about how they'd never get married again because of a marriage they've been in previously. That makes me stay away from people who are like that. I'd much rather be involved with someone who doesn't have that kind of attitude.

There are definitely people who are bitter, but not divorced. I just find that most of those who are very bitter have been divorced.

A little talk about exes is fine, but I can't stand when they whine and whine and whine about how their exes were. That can happen whether someone is divorced or not, though.

I had a date with someone a while ago who complained about exes the whole time! Ugh.

Well she put ME out!!!! I slept in the barn for 12 1/2 years till she moved out and thats when I disovered Blow Up Dolls!!! God was that fun!!

Many are bitter but not all, this goes along with your other post as well, some un-married people are very bitter as well. Some people are just synics. I personally have been married once and prior to that i had lived with a boyfriend for 4 years, another for 2 years, it felt like marriage but in the end didnt work out. I was not bitter about any of that, and to this day am still friends with a lot of them. Even re-engaged with a relationship after my marriage with one of them(which failed a second time after telling me to get a breast lift) I am not against trying marriage again though. Despite all the things out there I still believe in finding my true match. I just have to keep trying.

I think divorced people complain about their exes and I agree its extremely annoying--(guilty) but sometimes we want men to know what we DONT want---

Being single and dating-its not different than talking about previous relationships and what you dont want. Same thing IMO

Yup. Single people bytch about exes quite often as well. You just don't get the bitter "I hate marriage and it ruined my life!" kind of thing with single people, though.

That is true, I want marriage personally. There are some single people who vow never to get married as well though. Thats another reason I look out for people who are older and never been married. i see them (men) as a player sort. Marriage is something i value. There are many women and men who have been scorned. But you see in tabloids and off, there are just as many people saying they are on their third or fourth marriage. Gosh, I hope that never happens to me.

I can understand the curiosity of someone never been married and its nice to see that you don't see it as a concern. I see quite a few posters here do though. I don't think getting married younger is working all that well anyways. One needs to look at the divorce stats to see that. I have heard more than one person say they are getting tired of looking at the same face for 20/30 years or they say they just aren't on the same page anymore and are looking at a divorce. Maybe one should think about getting married later on in life as they can establish themselves, maybe do some traveling, get a good education, and just experience life. Why the rush to get married? I also wouldn't look at a man as a player if he was never married by 40 as some posters said. Without knowing the circumstance of why one never got married; who are we to judge? I think it quite feasible when someone says I never met the right person. Its not like a potential husband or wife is on every street corner. I wish folks would give us unmarried older people a break and stop judging us.

I often wonder about people who are separated and looking to date, or even those who are newly divorced and looking to date. I would think it takes longer to get over the marriage/divorce and they should work on being alone for a bit. But, I see all kinds of people who are just divorced, or even only separated looking for new people already.

People who are newly separated or freshly divorced have probably been emotionally detached for a very long time and are eager to feel appreciated and feel pretty or handsome again. They want their self esteem back. I agree rushing out into the world of dating is awkward so quickly...but they are desperate to help their self esteem. Chances are those new relationships won't last anyways, but at least they will get laid and feel wanted again. I think it takes for me at least a while to find a comfort level with yourself to "really" put yourself out there. Sometimes its just for fun. I left my ex in 07. Im still single....go figure.

Well I married young I was only 23. But my divorce was not just because I couldn't stand looking at him for another 20+ years. There were circumstances not to be discussed here that made it neccessary for my health and my children's health that it happen. And i agree sometimes you just never meet the right person. I have a friend who is in his mid 40s who has never married and he is a great guy but he is very particular and I know he will never meet the right lady.

Not only that but some people just can not be alone. I have a cousin who has been married 3 times and divorced 3 times. She has been with at least 5 men since her divorce last May.

I am in the same boat as your friend; I know I will never meet the right guy either. It happens and its part of life. I do understand about divorcing to protect yourself and your children; my dad was the ultimate abuser himself.

I agree that one should get to know the reasons for not getting married or being in a long term relationship, but I think the word "judge" is harsh. From what a few on this forum are saying; they think a guy that has never been married either has a problem or has commitment issues. I think that is a generalization as well as a judgmenet. I find it interesting that the men in particular are singled out; no pun intended, but no one really has made an issue of a woman that has never married. I think it a tad sexist actually.